Chris Grainger is the Founder of The Lion Within Us and has a passion for serving others. He is building a community that provides Christian men encouragement to become the leaders God intends them to be. Chris connects with others by sharing personal stories of professional success, hurdles encountered, and how every circumstance is an opportunity to build the Kingdom. He helps men stand firm in the faith by strengthening areas of Health (Mind/Body) Wealth (Careers/Finances) and Self (Husbands/Fathers/Brothers in Christ). At home, Chris is married to his wonderful wife Rebekah and has 3 awesome daughters (Chloe 12, Ava 10, and Lily 16 months) and a son Judah who was born in November 2022! He enjoys working out, Harley’s, serving at church, coaching youth sports, and anything that involves getting outside.
Connect with Chris Grainger:
- Website: https://thelionwithin.us/
✅ SHARE THIS PODCAST
✅ GIVE A 5-STAR REVIEW
✅ SUPPORT
-Leadership Resources: https://linktr.ee/McMillionLeadership
-Resilience-Based Leadership Program: https://resiliencebuildingleader.com/
- Discount Code: JMCMILLION
My Mission: I will end toxic leadership practices by equipping leaders with transformational leadership skills.
Together, we will impact 1 MILLION lives!!!
Every day is a gift, don't waste yours!
Joshua K. McMillion | Founder MLC
Chris Grainger is the Founder of The Lion Within Us and has a passion for serving others. He is building a community that provides Christian men encouragement to become the leaders God intends them to be. Chris connects with others by sharing personal stories of professional success, hurdles encountered, and how every circumstance is an opportunity to build the Kingdom. He helps men stand firm in the faith by strengthening areas of Health (Mind/Body) Wealth (Careers/Finances) and Self (Husbands/Fathers/Brothers in Christ). At home, Chris is married to his wonderful wife Rebekah and has 3 awesome daughters (Chloe 12, Ava 10, and Lily 16 months) and a son Judah who was born in November 2022! He enjoys working out, Harley’s, serving at church, coaching youth sports, and anything that involves getting outside.
Connect with Chris Grainger:
- Website: https://thelionwithin.us/
✅ SHARE THIS PODCAST
✅ GIVE A 5-STAR REVIEW
✅ SUPPORT
-Leadership Resources: https://linktr.ee/McMillionLeadership
-Resilience-Based Leadership Program: https://resiliencebuildingleader.com/
- Discount Code: JMCMILLION
My Mission: I will end toxic leadership practices by equipping leaders with transformational leadership skills.
Together, we will impact 1 MILLION lives!!!
Every day is a gift, don't waste yours!
Joshua K. McMillion | Founder MLC
You're listening to the Tells the Leadership podcast. This podcast is for leaders at any phase on their leadership journey to become a more purposeful and accountable leader what I like to call a pal. Join me on our journey together towards transformational leadership. Alright team, welcome back to the Tells the Leadership podcast. I am your host, josh McMillian, an active duty Army officer and the founder of McMillian Leadership Coaching, and I am on a mission to end toxic transitional leadership by equipping leaders with transformational skills and transformational stories.
Speaker 1:On today's episode, I am going to be interviewing Chris Granger. Chris is the founder of the Lyon within us and has a passion for serving others. He is building a community that provides Christian men encouragement to become the leaders God intends them to be. Chris connects with others by sharing personal stories of professional success, hurdles encountered and how every circumstance is an opportunity to build the kingdom. He helps men stand firm in their faith by strengthening areas of health, wealth and self, which I absolutely love.
Speaker 1:At home. Chris is married to his wonderful wife and has three beautiful daughters and one son, and his son was born in November of 2022. So that is exciting. He enjoys working out Harley's, serving at church, coaching, youth sports and anything that involves with getting outside, and I'll tell you right now. This is one of my favorite episodes that I have filmed. So let's bring Chris on and, as always, make sure you stay to the end, and I'm going to provide you with the top three takeaways are from this episode. Let's jump right into it, chris. Welcome to the Tells the Leadership podcast, brother. How are you doing today?
Speaker 2:I'm doing great. How are you?
Speaker 1:I cannot complain and I knew I was going to love this episode because your background and basically the logo that I have for my podcast, the Lyon, so I love that. That would be a great place to start. Man, what brought you to that?
Speaker 2:symbol. It all comes back to Christ, the Lyon of Judah. It's really what symbolizes the Lyon of Judah that's within all of us. We have the Holy Spirit within. We talk so much about the Lamb of God and I want to talk a little bit more about the lion. The lamb is important too, but 100% lion as well.
Speaker 1:I got a really good quote from Revelations, but we'll wait until we get into the podcast a little bit. Just take the time to introduce yourselves to the listeners.
Speaker 2:I just appreciate this opportunity. So yeah, guys and listeners out there, so my name is Chris Granger and I've been in a lot of leadership roles throughout my career and throughout my life really, when I think about it, early as times, when I was a teenager, one of my first jobs I was actually in a work in a service station. I actually had guys who in their 40s reporting to me and that's kind of awkward when you're 16 years old, right, you don't even know what that's like. So it's like just trying to figure all that out. And just throughout the whole, everyone of the roles I've been in, it's always come down to serving and I just I think that's what my heart's for, it's just built for serving others. I get the most joy, fulfillment, when I'm helping other people achieve great things, and so it's just led me to one position from another.
Speaker 2:I did an engineering school. I used zero of my engineering in my career. I mean, when I got out I realized I don't like just sitting down and figuring stuff out on my own. I like being with people and helping people, you know, figure out stuff and trying to just being part of a team, and as a one-off engineer I just couldn't get that fulfillment, but the career path I took, it gave me that.
Speaker 2:So I just found myself in all sorts of different opportunities to learn, to grow, to be challenged, to be stretched, and then I've, you know, go through a lot of setbacks and heart aches.
Speaker 2:I've walked through, you know, the trial of divorce, where my wife left me and my two daughters just left us, and trying to figure that, you know, figure out life right there. How do you lead two little girls as well, as you know, take care of your career and things like that. I let my health get out of shape, man. I was 330 pounds and my oldest daughter was born, and so I had a long journey there. And then you know I'm going through losing a child now with my current wife, and what that looks like, and we found that through all these steps, man, they're just opportunities to, to, to embrace it and to help others. And that's really what I've come to learn through, whether it's a divorce, whether it's leading your company, man, if you can just take any trial that you've gone through and try to serve other people, you know good things are going to happen, which you know led me to the line within us and have them conversations with wonderful people like yourself.
Speaker 1:I love that, chris, and I think, at the end of the day, I always talk about toxic leadership and and transformational leadership I kind of like call it TNT and we can choose one of those two paths. And and with you just sharing all those different, vulnerable, you know, points within your life, you could have easily went down a very toxic path of blaming other people, going to go back to the Cartman triangle, of playing a victim card and then just surviving in life. But you chose the higher path. You chose to change your pain and turn it into purpose and turn it into passion, and and you learned and and I think you and I, both at probably me at a younger age that what makes me most happy in life isn't titles isn't right. Is it money, is it monetary gains? It's truly just serving people, just adding value to people. So, dude, I love that. I would love to kind of just start at your earliest memories of where you think your your leadership journey started.
Speaker 2:I really think it just it all goes back. I mean, my very first job was actually working at an arcade. So I'm 14 in 15 years old. They had a little arcade in my down in the hometown I lived in and my parents knew the people who owned it and they needed somebody to to run it during the day. So I was actually there all day by myself, you know, at 15. I don't even know if that's legal right, but I'm trying to think.
Speaker 2:It was it was, it was a small town. This is what you did, right? So I just remember being responsible and just.
Speaker 2:I've always felt, no matter if it was that arcade or the service station I worked at, or on the road on a truck, you know, on the road working. You know, because we did field work as well no matter where I was, it was never. I never thought of it as other people's stuff. I always thought of it as my own. How am I going to treat this arcade? How am I going to treat this service station?
Speaker 2:So anytime I approach a job, it's as if it's my own stuff, even though I I didn't own any of it. It was just something my, my dad and my mom just instilled that into me about respecting others and you know, you know just always giving it your best, and I think that just came forth and everything that I've done. Therefore, you know, no matter if I own it or not, I always treat the situation as if I do own it and try to really just bring my best. And okay, how can I serve the people the most? And you know wherever you're at, and I think just that mentality for a 14 year old that's. You don't hear that very much anymore. Right, it's very much on me and I don't know. I just I never had to me, me, me. It was always. You know how can I help others and that's led to some really good opportunities and things like that. But it's never been selfish motives, or if it has. I try to get that out pretty quick.
Speaker 1:I think we kind of grew up in the same type of environment. So I grew up in rural West Virginia and I started working on a farm, I think when I was 14. My dad was like all right, son, it's the summer, you're going to have to start working. And I was 14 and I went to work at John Singleton's farm. It was like a thousand something odd acres and we were just doing square bails. So if anyone you know is listening, or Chris, if you understand, like, working on a farm is tough as it is, but working with square bails is a whole other level of tough. I was the hooker off of the, the square bails, and then I was the only one apparently strong enough to throw it in the loft and do that. That was some tough work but it instilled in me because I would see my dad too. So he was a coal miner. He's still a coal miner.
Speaker 1:That dude wakes up at three in the morning and then works all the way until probably five in the evening, commutes an hour both ways, and when he gets home he used to cut my grandmother's grass my grandfather's grass and then go over to the farm and cut the grass which was my grandfather's and would never, would never complain, would do it just out of the the just love and you said something there that that I love and it's talking about taking personal responsibility and even if it's not ours, right? So I see it in two ways is that, as a leader, we have the responsibility which is the roles of which we are governed within the position that we have. But when we don't hold that responsibility, then we have to be held accountable, which is kind of after the fact, and today that is where I believe the youth is missing that link, because they have responsibilities but no one ever holds them accountable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if they do, they don't know how to how to respond to it. Nobody can take any feedback whatsoever. Those sorts of things construct a feedback. If it's not building them up, they don't want to hear it. So it's just like. You know, I can't help you because at some point you have to own something. I mean, somebody's got an old responsibility for something and I don't know why that's gotten to be such a lost art. But the young people that do get it, they're going to crush it. They're going to absolutely crush it out there.
Speaker 1:How did you kind of instill that mindset? I know at a very young age it just came natural to you. But did? Did you have any type of like moment that really defined you within your youth, that kind of instilled that level of just willpower and fortitude?
Speaker 2:I think some of it's just, you know, watching my father and just being with my dad and just seeing how he stood up, like he was. He worked at an industrial manufacturing plant. Right, it was a textile industry, it was a textile town, that's all we had. We had one plant, we had two plants, we had a candy factory in this factory and that was it. And I saw him.
Speaker 2:He was an electrician but then he took on his own to learn. That's when computers just came out. It was the you know late 80s. So he started learning how to be a computer programmer, how to do, you know, electrical programming for industrial machines, and he was doing all this stuff, working third shift, never, you know, still coaching all of our baseball stuff and being at the field every day. But he would do all this extracurricular stuff and he got like, if you remember, like there's, there was Windows certification back in the day and you could go get a Windows certified engineer. Well, he was at for his plant and like he was doing electrical engineering work with just a high school degree and I mean he, he automated that plant up and down and I just saw how he just, you know, nobody ever asked him, nobody ever said do you think you should do that?
Speaker 2:he just did it and took it because he knew he can make that place better and he really brought a whole new level of that just automation and thinking. And I just watched that. I watched that whole evolution as a kid and I just thought it was cool. Whenever I got to go to my dad's plant and see the stuff he did and there's lights flashing and you know, sirens going off and all and he was like, yeah, I automated that. I just thought it was awesome. I was like that is really neat. So I just saw that firsthand and I think so many young men. That's why I really try to put my emphasis on men like you have such a big responsibility on it and show your kids what you're doing, be, let them be part of your world and don't try to separate that stuff. So I think that was some of the pivotal stuff in my life that kind of really like hits home with me.
Speaker 1:So I travel a lot for for work. So my daughter and my son don't really get to see a lot of the things that I do. But I remember kind of going back to when I was first married. We, we just showed up to our first duty station and I'm getting on a bus and I'm going to Afghanistan and I'm looking out the window and and I'm leaving my wife. And then I remember going to Louisiana and leaving for months, long training exercises, going to Iraq for a couple months and all these different opportunities that I'm always leaving. But my children are always so curious that they want to know hey, daddy, what are you doing? And I try to make it a point now when I'm, when I'm doing those things, to take them into work every once in a while to show them what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:Or go, take them and like, hey, this is the equipment when I used to be a rifle company commander, that daddy goes and mortars and then all the vehicles, and being able to connect that and having a strong role model, especially a strong, I think, male role model in your life is absolutely pivotal and and I don't like to get into politics and I don't know where you are with that, but I genuinely believe that that is one of the core issues at least value-based issues that we have nowadays is that there's not enough strong male figures who have true values that need to be replicated. We're replicating all these values that are just completely toxic in my mind.
Speaker 2:Oh, 100%, and that's that's the big issue, right? I tell people all the time the true pandemic is fatherlessness and not having fathers in the home, you know, and? And we need men to start stepping up, because you can't not expect. Like I'm married, we have four children. I have a son, three daughters. I can't teach my daughters how to be a woman. I just can't. I'm not. I'm not a woman. My wife can do that and I can teach them what to look for in a man and, conversely, she cannot teach my son how to be a man. I have to do that and we and we take that ying ying approach. You know she has her attributes, I have mine. God designed us this way and this is the way we approach our, our life. And when you say stuff like that to some people these days, it offends them. But when you look at the stats, man, I mean it's there it doesn't single family homes and single moms.
Speaker 2:God bless them. I wish they weren't in that situation. But those kids, they're at a disadvantage and it you have to have some strong men that are willing to step up and say you know what? This is where it stops. I'm going to invest. I'm going to be a mentor, I'm going to be a coach, I'm going to be whatever it takes be involved in these young people's lives. When you see that the wheels of change start turning.
Speaker 1:There's a quote by Douglas MacArthur and it's someone that I've always kind of looked up to. After I won an award with him, I kind of I read his biography and it's really powerful. Dude has an amazing story, but build me a son, oh Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending and honest to feet and humble and gentle and victory. I love that quote because it just resonates to me is that that is what we need more than ever, and if you think about that cycle as probably the most overused metaphor.
Speaker 1:But strong men create good times, good times create weak men, weak men create bad times and the cycle just continues. I really think that that's kind of where we are and we have to be a beacon for being a man and then also having that level of masculinity is not a bad thing and that is a normal balance of what you just said between the yin and the yang is that I believe that the reason that my children are so great and my daughter is so great is because she has that balance between my wife, which is absolutely amazing. She's a nurturer.
Speaker 1:She listens, and then you have me. I'm like a javelin right Fire forget. And then let's keep going. Let's keep moving forward. High energy, two totally different people, but she has that blend. But, dude, I love that man.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you're like me probably. Just rub some dirt on it. Let's keep going. You know where they have that nurturing kind and that's the way God made us, and it's amazing when you actually will look at the construct. It works. It really doesn't work.
Speaker 1:So kind of it's funny hearing you talk about your dad To me, I believe, like I think that's one of the reasons that you went into engineering, not knowing anything about you, but just seeing that spark of were you walking in the facility and seeing all these automations going on. Maybe that was the moment that you realized I want to go into engineering 100% and that's why I did it.
Speaker 2:I mean, I really wanted to thinking back.
Speaker 2:I wanted to be a motorcycle mechanic but, my dad was such a big influence, I just wanted to just do something cool like he did, or just have a chance to do it. You know, and you know I still, even though I've never used that degree, really to that degree that it should have been used, it's still there and we can have good conversations over and it's. I don't regret it one bit, because engineering just basically teaches you how to think. It really walks through logical thinking. So it's not not something I regret whatsoever, but just definitely he's my hero, still is, and you know I still get to pick up my phone and hit dad on the phone and he picks up. So I'm blessed there and I'll hopefully that be that way for a long time.
Speaker 1:It's funny that you have an engineering background too. So the army forced me and I'll say forced to go get a systems engineering degree as my, as my masters. I have a criminal psychology bachelor's degree, and they're like, hey, you're going to go get the STEM degree. And I had no idea what stem that. I was like, okay, what, what, what is a STEM degree? And then I looked into it and I was like, oh man, let's, let's, uh, let's, buckle up. So. But I fully agree with you, dude, is that engineering allows you to be a much better critical thinker, and I think of that in the lens is like I have a systems engineering management degree. I'm not an engineer, but I can think critically about a problem, and the superpower that has really helped me mature is asking the right question asking a question at the right time.
Speaker 1:That's right. So kind of you know, walk me through after you get done with your, your college as a electrical engineer and then you go starting a workforce, did you start off as a sales rep, or or how did you start off your professional career?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I really started so. I did actually a co-op internship when I was in in my my last two years of my undergrad and that just opened the door for me and I was able to. When I was I think it was like February of my graduating senior year I graduated in May. I emailed my mentor my boss at the time, who I did the co-op with I said, all right, do I need to start looking for a job? Or you know, when I graduate am I gonna come working for you? And thank you. It was like the next day I had an offer letter in my inbox.
Speaker 2:So I was really having my my senior year. I knew where I had a job lined up. There was never any question I would have. We timed it so I'd graduate, there be two week break just to be able to move and come back home and then I would start ups. So and I started there as a sales engineer. I learned a lot of ins and outs riding in the car with him. He was a mentor, showing me a lot of the ropes of how do you call on industrial manufacturing, the questions to ask, how do not look stupid. You know all the stuff that you need to learn when you're out there selling as a young guy. And and then but that wasn't long, because about a year and a half into that he left and to another part of the company and then I took over his role.
Speaker 2:So I found myself at like 22 managing a branch that literally half the branch was twice as old as I was I mean, they were in their 50s. Most of the people that work there here's just 20 young, 20-something year old guy. That's. That's their manager all of a sudden. So it was a. It was a steep learning curve just to step into that role and and, just you know, just to evolve as a manager. Made a lot of bad mistakes, made some good ones, but really learn. You know how to ask good questions and how to bring unity together with a bunch of people that you know. Sometimes it wasn't always there, but it was. It was something that I think you know. It definitely gave me a lot of lessons learned that I've been able to apply as I move forward throughout my career.
Speaker 1:Dude, I would love to kind of get into that and I'm seeing a theme. So you know, when you started it as working in an arcade, 14 years old, leading people much older, and you, 22 sales manager, leading people much older than you. It's funny how God, kind of like, has those whispers with within our life or themes within our life. But how did you learn to lead? Because this is something that I see a lot with with young leaders in the military the imposter syndrome they don't feel qualified to lead because they don't have that experience right?
Speaker 1:how did you learn to lead individuals that were older than you?
Speaker 2:I think some of it came, to be honest, to my co-op. So with the co-op I was able to actually do literally every job in that, in the business. I mean everything outside of being the CEO. I was able to drive the truck, work in the warehouse, work on the counter, working sales inside sales, do all the jobs not even get to do them, you know very long, but I had exposure and then I always able to I've just always been able to, no matter what the situation was just establish some sort of relationship with people and and actually care, have empathy, not just give lip service. So when I came in and they made the announcement there were some questions but it was received well because I didn't come in with this pompous young punk who's like here's, it's my way to highway. I came in asking questions and saying, okay, I know you guys probably have a lot of questions on on my own who I am as a leader and I totally get that. But I promise you this I'm here to serve you, I'm here to represent you, particularly when the you know on the larger part of the company. So just having those questions, showing that empathy, being compassionate me, transparent, not trying to come off as a no-it-all when I screw up just on it like, hey, that was a terrible idea, I'm sorry I had that one, so let's just go ahead and can that one? We'll put in that DED you know, don't ever do again category and we'll just move on the other growth.
Speaker 2:So I think just doing stuff like that and showing that vulnerability that really just open it up to where it just jailed, I mean we took that branch and we made a ton of money in a little bit of time that I over saw it and then I left there and went to another position of the company. But it was just great opportunities of just giving all the credit. I'm the, I'm a big cheerleader. So when people do this stuff, I'm like, even even now, man, people come to me, man, the line with Dennis, you guys doing great, and you're on these shows, you're talking. I'm like, look, I guess all the glory, and like every guest, I'm just trying to glorify them and to serve them. And I think that's why it works, because I really it's not about me, man, it never is about me, it's about trying to serve others. So I think that is just in that position back then. I just I figured that out.
Speaker 1:That's one thing I guess God showed me and that just really worked alright, team, let's take a quick break from this podcast and I want to personally invite you to our private Facebook community that I call purposeful accountable leaders, or pals and pals is a community dedicated to inspiring and developing servant leaders by sharing transformational stories and skills exactly what tells the leadership is all about. My goal is to build a community of like-minded leaders that can share lessons, learn, ask questions and celebrate wins when it happens. And my mission in life is clear I will end toxic leadership by sharing transformational stories and skills, and you will find countless transformational leaders in this group. Many of them I have had the honor to serve with in the military. If you want to find a community that can help you grow both personally and professionally, we would love to have you. You can simply search purposeful accountable leaders on Facebook or click the leadership resources tab in the show notes to join. I am looking forward to seeing you guys and continuing to grow together on our leadership journey.
Speaker 1:Back to the podcast. Everyone needs to go back and listen to that three minutes, because everything that I've basically ever learned about leadership, chris, is in there all the key principles and values that need to be emulated as a servant leader vulnerability, being transparent, having empathy, having humility, being coachable, being curious, staying committed, owning your mistakes and having and this is one thing that I learned so much Is having humor, humor and leadership. And I don't know where it was good, don't? We? Don't quote me on it, you probably know it off the top of your head, but Jesus says that humor disarms, and it's true. When, when we're in those leadership positions, humor disarms, especially in very tough situations. And it's funny, being in a combat arms.
Speaker 1:When we were in Afghanistan, most of the time we were here's a here's a quick story we were. We just completed a mission doing a deliberate clearance through southern Afghanistan, on the Argendob River, right south of Pangeway. We get an LZ posture to do an extraction out of the C for CH 47 and we're in this perfect line. Well, the unit beside us did not know that we were there doing that mission, for whatever reason, our battalions didn't talk to each other. So they started shooting 81 millimeter a loom rounds over our heads to illuminate our position. And if you've ever been on the receiving end of a loom round, it's kind of ominous, because the canister pops overhead, you know a thousand feet up or something like that, and it starts whistling as it falls down and it'll hit, but these loom rounds are bursting.
Speaker 1:And finally we were able to get a positive identification hey, these are US troops. Do not shoot HE or high explosive rounds, please, for the love of God. But we're just sitting there joking and PZ posture. The birds were coming and because there's nothing else that you can do, the best way in those types of situations is to have humor, because if you don't it, you're going to panic and do that. I love that. So one of the key ways just to sum up of how you were able to lead young as a younger leader, older people was one being able to move around a lot within your organization in a short period of time, but embracing that, because you were stretching yourself continuously, and that is something that is awesome. And then the key word that you really pushed on there is vulnerability, and I'm wondering if you could kind of expand on that, because that is something I think that's often overlooked in leadership.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean too often, particularly when I think about a lot of young leaders. They want to feel like they have to have it all together and they want to feel like, okay, I can't show any cracks in my armor. And because if I show a crack and they're going to think I'm weak and I'm like, look man, that is completely upside down thinking, because you never, no matter how long you're in any industry, you're never going to know what all there's going to be people who know more there's going to be. People have different experiences, because your perspective is just that, your perspective. That's all you have. So your experiences are only all you get, your experiences. I can't, I can't take your experiences, joshua, and applying to my life, because I haven't lived, your haven't walked with what you walk. So I think, just having that understanding of you know what, when I enter a room, there's probably 100% chance that the people in that room know things that I don't know, and I'm just okay with embracing that and I try to bring that out. Okay, I may be able to help you over here, but what do you know about this? Because then, when I left that position, I went and I ran our motor repair division of the company. So that's kind of like the same company but two completely different industries.
Speaker 2:Okay so, and you talk about not knowing what I'm doing, like I really didn't know what I was doing, but in this stuff could kill you because we're working with voltage that is high voltage. You know lots of, lots of tolerances and things like that. It's just asking questions hey, I can, and because they look at you as all, you're the engineer, you should know this stuff. And I just like, yeah, you're right, but I'm not a very good engineer, so why don't you break it down for me? Show me this stuff.
Speaker 2:So I mean just being open and vulnerable, that like that to you know what. I probably can figure the math out, but I rather have a good relationship, so let's have a good. Let me ask some questions. That's going to lift this person up, but also it's going to help me figure out how I can help them, how I can bring value to them. Particularly when I was in a sales position trying to sell their service, I needed to know these things I need, okay. Well, why do you do it that way? If I'm the end user, why would that matter? And they would show me that I had to be vulnerable and just be like you know what. Thank you, because I did not know that coming in here before I just think too many times we see that as a weakness and I see that as an opportunity, and so I just that.
Speaker 2:For me, that's what it looks like.
Speaker 1:That is a hundred percent one of the key characteristics that I've always tried to emulate and I believe that is always separated me from my peers, especially in combat arms there. There there's this idea that you have to be perfect in everything that you do and you have to be very stoic in all of your actions. But People can see through those things. When you're acting unauthentically, people know that you're being an authentic. So the best thing to do is just be yourself and if you don't know something, you will gain so much more respect and earn trust faster if you admit that you don't know that and then you ask that individual to teach you, because then you're going to learn, but also to your building that trust and people understand hey, he or she is humble because they've let go of their ego. What I'd love to do now is kind of transition from your engineering time and when did you realize that you needed to establish a relationship with God? No, god.
Speaker 2:You know, that's interesting because I mean, I really started. I didn't grow up in the church, I didn't at all. I'd go to VBS and I grew up in the south like anybody in the south, you know, you know racing, you know football, you know, you know Jesus. I mean, that's just the way it is right. But I never really. You know, my family just wasn't very involved there.
Speaker 2:So I started going to church when I was 15, because my high school girlfriend went to church and I wanted to spend some more time, whether she was really cute and I thought she was awesome. So I just thought, you know, this is a great way to spend some time on a Sunday and have an excuse to See her longer. I mean, I'm just being real. That's why I went and you know. And then, you know, I start listening to the sermons and then it just hit me like, okay, this is a big deal.
Speaker 2:I think this is there's there's more to this and I started asking a lot of questions and being inquisitive and this then I just you know what I'm on follow, I'm gonna follow Christ. So I made that decision. I was baptized, I was a believer, but then, looking back, I didn't have anybody, anybody coming alongside me, no men at all in that church, yeah, to guide me, to shepherd me, right, to disciple me. And you know what, when I went to Old Dominion, I did what I wanted to do, because at Old Dominion is the nickname is overdose University, because it is just a very secular place.
Speaker 2:It's a fun place to be like. If you're looking for a party, you don't have to look for Old Dominion is just in Norfolk, is close to Maybe base. It's really all yeah environment when you're looking for a good time. So I just I fell away, man, and I didn't have anyone.
Speaker 2:I'm not blaming anyone, blame myself, but I just I live, way my life by three words I got this and that's just what I did and I just did things the way I wanted to do. And those three words, you know, really got me into a lot of trouble. You know I've never gotten to like law trouble or anything like that, but I just got out of shape, started. You know, my my definitely was not living values the way I should got married, probably when I shouldn't have got married, didn't have the right values from a husband standpoint or a wife standpoint, not that it was. Again, we're not doing hard drugs or anything like that. We just weren't doing things the right way and you know it. Just, it just goes to show, you know, when you're trying to do it your way and I got this eventually, you don't know what happens when you don't got this.
Speaker 1:And that's what happened.
Speaker 2:I mean she, all of a sudden she popped up, she's like alright, I'm out of here, got me a new guy and I had a three and a five year old little girl just looking back in the kitchen looking at their dad saying what do we do? Now I'm sitting there. Wow crap, I don't know so, but I didn't want to tell them that. So I tell them girls, I'm not gonna tell them that I don't care of us and my church.
Speaker 2:At the time, luckily, I did get plugged in with the church about a year before she left, which is kind of ironic. I mean, god's just like setting all these things up. And then the church wrapped their arms around me and you know we, just from there I started really trying to be more intentional about my walk. You know story, just no balls from there, but it was. You know it had to go through some pretty big hurt to to really see the blessing that God provided. And I think you know I think a W Tozer talked about you know he doubts whether or not, you know, a man can truly feel a blessing until he goes through some trials. And when you start thinking about stuff like that, like man, you know what I really couldn't. I had to go through some stuff to really understand what God's grace is about and then how I can start planning to my life and how I can actually take the trials I have and help other people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's the definition of a coach man that you, you take your pain and then you manifest that end of purpose. But I share a similar story and I won't get into it. But you know, I lost several soldiers and then I walked away from God. I was baptized at a very early age, at 16, and I truly believe that I was cursed. You know, my best friend is wife or murdered. All my friends from high school, my genuine friends that you know, I know and love, or mostly dead, and a lot of my soldiers and people that I've known have committed suicide and things of that nature. And then I just felt that I was cursed.
Speaker 1:And it all came to a boiling point when I was in a rifle company command and I lost two soldiers from rural West Virginia and I am from rural West Virginia and, yeah, that was my pivot point of where I stopped and I reflected on why is this happening to me? And then I realized that, if I can have faith in this moment and humble myself, that it's not just about you know my pain, that I'm here for a bigger purpose and that purpose is to get these families through it. And why am I from West Virginia, why were they from West Virginia? And so I was selected to get those families through that tough situation, and I was the right leader at the time to get those families through that situation, and that's really the genesis of why I'm doing.
Speaker 1:Everything that I'm doing now is I want to build better leaders that are going to be strong when that storm comes and unwavering, and build their house of leadership on a firm foundation, just like in the Bible, and that's exactly what I love. That, brother. That is such an impactful story and how did that affect your daughters? When you were able to rebuild that relationship with God not just know him, but to follow him how did that impact your family?
Speaker 2:I think it had a profound impact on you know, for one, they never questioned for a second their father's love, their earthly father's love, you know, and they were able to see that they were able to see me. I mean they saw me cry. I mean they saw me go through the hurt. They, I mean my wife left right, this is not a fun I mean the first time that they left to visit her and that house is empty, like, and you built that house for your family, right, and it's just you sitting there with your dog. Man, that's that's hard, that is really hard. And so I mean I just think in those moments, so they saw how I didn't turn to the bottle, I didn't turn to drugs, I just turned to him. And then guy gave me a verse and cuz she wanted, all of a sudden, then she wanted to do a custody trial. And I'm not gonna get into all that, but in a day, you know, I have primary custody there with me and we were able to. We co parent the best we can. So I'm not gonna downgrade or anything like that. But you know it was, you know it was.
Speaker 2:Guy gave me a verse in a trial and it was, and it's become my life verse and it's talks it's in James and it talks about considerate joy when you go through trials of any kind, because that's gonna test your faith in that and that testing is gonna produce endurance. And I'm like people tell me all the time like Chris has a sucky life first. I'm like I know I wish I had to give me a better one, like there's so many better verses than that one right there. Like Seriously dude, considerate joy when you go through trials and I just been thinking about that a lot lately. Like you know what. He gave me that for a reason.
Speaker 2:And you know, when you go through those trials and he's testing our faith, I think he's testing our obedience, our obedience to him. Are we gonna truly trust him? Because if we do and we trust him and that's gonna produce endurance. You know, an endurance you can't go out. You know, no matter how successful what you, the one of us are, we can't go to Amazon tonight and buy a case of endurance. I wish we could, that'd be awesome, but it doesn't happen. That endurance comes through the test and the crazy part is God's tells us we're supposed to consider that joy and I'm like what in the world was James smoking something when he wrote that Like how that doesn't make any sense, you know, like I love it, I'm joy and it's just like but you think back, wait a minute to.
Speaker 2:Joy comes through the obedience because my fake, my faith got tested. My faith got tested that produced him. Nurse, I can help others, I can serve. I can serve at a greater level. I can go through these things now and Understand there is a purpose behind it. I mean I understand the purpose. Like right here now.
Speaker 2:I can't tell you why my daughter died. I don't know why. I don't know why he took her from us. But I know one thing that was for a purpose and that had purpose at this point has led me to have Conversations with people who have lost their children and I'm able to at least connect with them on some weird way that I wish I couldn't connect with them, but I can. Yeah, taking that and we're trying to help each other and into that grieving process.
Speaker 2:And I just know one thing there's joy in that doesn't make any sense, but there is joy in that. And I mean to hear your story about you, the guys in West Virginia who lost their lives. I mean there's there's hard to find any good in that, but the fact that you're from West Virginia and you delivered that message back to them. There's to me. I saw a little piece of joy in that, at least for those for that family to know that somebody actually Cared and they got it. So I mean I just for me, when I start thinking about these trials and stuff, like I get pretty, pretty Amped up. I mean we can go everywhere with this stuff, man, but I know this. That's that those, the listeners that are still listening, probably what is wrong with this dude All right team.
Speaker 1:Let's take a quick break from this episode and I want to share a leadership resource with you, and that is the resiliency based leadership program. Rblp's vision is to create a worldwide community of practice committed to building and leading Resilient teams. So why do you need to build and lead a resilient team? Resilient teams are the key to individual and organizational growth, regardless of being in the military or in the civilian workforce. Building collective teams allows for exponential growth and the team's ability to overcome adversity, adapt and, most importantly, grow. And in bottom line, up front, resilient teams are just stronger together. And here's the fact 99% of the people who take that course Recommended to others and I'm one of them. I would just completed my certification and I highly recommend this. And the great news is it's most likely free to you, and if you're in the military, it is a hundred percent free to you. And if you want to learn more, you can look in the show notes for this episode and find the link and use the discount code J MCM. I ll Iow in and that is also in the show notes. Back to the episode.
Speaker 1:Life is not perfect, right, and I kind of bring it back to leadership, because in my mind, leadership is such a vague term that's often thrown out there, but it's to me it's a phase, it's a, it's a bridge, and we start it when we're born and we for through phase one. For example, we have to learn to lead ourselves, because if we can't lead ourselves, we cannot lead other people. And then we continue to progress on our leadership bridge and we stop when we're dead. That's when we've truly mastered the craft, or gotten to the end of our journey at least. But it's not a linear path. We don't just start from point a to point b. Is a crow flies? It looks like a freaking. What are those machines called? I can't think of them right now. The lie detector test.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah that's what our path looks like. We live in a pinball machine and I've learned that in life. Whenever you think you have it all together, god is going to test you. And Perfect example. We were getting ready to move in May and my wife just got horribly sick and we could not figure out what was wrong and we thought for sure she had cancer. We, we just couldn't determine it. But we were getting ready to move our family from Huntsville, alabama, to Fort Belvoir, virginia, significant move for our family. I had to postpone my orders. Work gave me two weeks off, like just hands off, just try to take care of my wife, which was great and blessed from that perspective, because the army does not do that a lot.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you that yeah and we found out that she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, that her she had autoimmune disease and, for whatever reason, that her pancreas stopped producing insulin, and that's that's what she has. But then I start thinking about all the themes in my life that I've had. Well, my mom had Induced diabetes I can't remember what it's called when, when she had me is a is a child, and then my long-term Girlfriend in high school had type 1 diabetes, so I understood how that was. So there's all these different people that had Significant relationships in my life that had type 1 diabetes, and and I think that that was just a theme. But also there, too, is being able to hunt the good stuff.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, you have type 1 diabetes, but what is this going to do? Well, it's going to allow us to eat healthier, that's for sure, and it's also going to produce a better quality life for our family. But we just have to remember that life is not a linear path. It is a pinball machine and it is chaotic and it the best of times, it is ugly and that is okay. And then when we pray to God and we ask for these things and I think what is it in 2nd Timothy, chapter 1, 6 through 7. He talks about prayer. But when you pray, god is going to give you the chances to Get what you asked for, but you have to be willing to go through those sacrifices, because that is just this earth. It is a bunch of sacrifices that we have to continue to push through, but now you got. Now you got me all fired up and I have.
Speaker 1:That quote is like one of my favorite quotes. But my favorite quote is Matthew, chapter 5, 14 through 16,. Okay, you are the light of the world. A town built on the hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on the stand and they give light to everyone in the house in the same way. Let your light shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your father in heaven. And every time I say that, dude, I always just get goosebumps, because I want people to know that they all have light and no matter how dark the world is going to be, you need to be a beacon of light, because people are always watching, like for you, man, like your daughters were watching and you could have went down a bad path, but you chose a higher purpose, so that's amazing 100% and that's and that's how they even want to taxes.
Speaker 2:I mean, for you guys are listening. If you don't believe this, I mean this is that's it. It's through that darkness and you may be thinking you know what? Well, haven't had major trials like Joshua Chris has had. Let me say what you're either in a trial, you're coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into one. That's the bad news about this, just like this journey we call life. So you better be ready and if you think you're hiding something from God, just know this. You can't hide nothing, it's all gonna be exposed. So what?
Speaker 2:I always tell guys because I got a lot of guys in our community lying that they, you know, they deal with stuff right, they're dealing with these, these obstacles, these hurdles, these dark areas, and they're like, what do I do? Like I'm struggling with pornography, or I'm struggling with my marriage, I'm struggling with my finances, like what? What do I do so I can actually be that leader that you talk about, chris, the leader that God intends you to be? I'm like all right, step one, get it into the light. No, go straight to the diversity you just talked to, right there, that's it. How do you do that. You talk to someone, you talk to your brothers about it, you actually talk about it. You quit trying to put up this facade. Leave, fake you at home, because that dudes joins us doing just fine and actually be real.
Speaker 2:And when you do that, man, you are taking so much power away. So I've had so many guys text me just by letting me know that they're looking at pornography. It's taking that power away. You know that that grips being taken away from them. They're happy, they're exposing it to the light. And this is gonna be solved overnight? No, but they're taking critical steps to solve it. And I mean, I just think we have to remember man, are you the enemy, the true enemy? He's trying to steal, kill and destroy. That's it. But Jesus came to give life and so we can have and have it abundantly and we need to understand it, to have that life, to walk In the light. You have to actually do that. You can't just sit on the sidelines in the dark. You have to get out there in the light and start sharing with others.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that brother and I kind of continue, you know, moving down. When did you pivot from you know being an engineer to kind of discovering what you're more you're passionate about of Coaching man, not just just coaching, but focusing on Christian men? When did you discover that?
Speaker 2:It's. You know, god's got a sense of humor right, so we had our third dog we have. My third child is my wife. We had her daughter. So we had lost our daughter a year before he gave, he gave us another child. We were able to, so at this point we had three girls in the house and then I had, you know, my wife. So I'm living surrounded by estrogen, bro. It was crazy and.
Speaker 2:I told my wife. I was like here's the deal. Thank God wants me to to to serve Christian men and area leadership. And she just falls out laughing. She's like I'm like what is so funny? She's like you don't think it's ironic? You live with all these women and he's telling you to go lead men. Of course that's what he's doing. I'm like, all right, perfect. So there we go. So he just laid it on my heart.
Speaker 2:He's like you know, because I just have a way of just connecting with guys and just being a guys guy, you know, and I'm not the most guys guy, but I, you know, I have a jack of all trades, I can figure stuff out and I just I just like, you know, having a good time, and so that just it was from there. Now I give her all the credit on the line within us. She came up with that the name, but then we just took it off because he gave me a skill set of podcasting I learned in my pre and my job, my full-time job, and then we just started the road from there. So it's, it's all him, you know, and from there I just see that it was a big need.
Speaker 2:There's, there's plenty of a total available market you know, for for your sales guys that are thinking out there there's plenty, put plenty of time out there to go after, because there's lots of guys who just need to figure out how do they take this dog on thing called a Bible and simplify and apply it to our life and actually step in the leadership. And that's what that's. That's the approach I take, you know. And because there's plenty of leadership stuff out there and there's lots of great stuff out there, but I haven't seen anything that approaches it from the biblical standpoint, the way that I'm trying to to really just make that Faith connection to these guys life, and that's really, you know what's what's driving me now. It's what I get excited about, is what I like talking about and trying to just really help guys with the.
Speaker 1:I love that. And the next question that I'm gonna kind of go to is Can you kind of define Christ-centered leadership for me?
Speaker 2:All comes down to being a servant right now. I mean Christ had one day left. What did he do? He dropped down and he served. He washed feet, man. I mean we. He had one day left to live, what would you do? I probably won't be washing no feet, I probably living it up and he chose in that moment to serve.
Speaker 2:And it's trying to get guys to understand. So many times you said earlier about chasing titles and stuff like that. I get it, man. I mean it looks cool. You go to LinkedIn and see all some of these stuff. These guys are doing this like the whole gong, like I suck. You know you get easy to just get like, like just that envy and coveted this when you look at that from LinkedIn.
Speaker 2:But it ain't about that. It's about the impact that you're making on people's lives because at the end of the day, I'm not gonna tell my daughters, hey, go check out my LinkedIn profile, look at all the cool things I did. No, I really care about the impact that I had on others. Am I actually making an impact and helping others grow as individuals grows their relationship with Christ? You know, lead their family, whatever it may be, that's what matters and I think, just just just understanding that to be a true spiritual leader that looks a lot different than the world's gonna think it looks, should look like it's gonna be serving our spouse, it's gonna be serving our kids, you know, leading them. But, at the end of the day, being that that lead repenter in your home, the chief Apologizer, right, you should be all these things that most guys are thinking like no, no, no, it's about being meek and they're like what, chris, that means we can make no bro.
Speaker 2:Get at the source because of meek and weaker, not the same thing. Like we have a horse farm I we're having on the farm, we're getting ready to start a horse business. When you get a horse at 17 hands tall and that big old class, they'll whatever he may be like, my little 12 year old or 13 year old can guide that horse around the farm. What a what, a what a what a bit. And it's like how? Because that horse is meek, it's Submitting his power to the authority of someone else. Right, it's, it's under control.
Speaker 2:Is control power and man, we should be weak, we should be meek here, because that's what it's about. And when that need, when that power needs to come out, guess what that horse is gonna pull up freaking wagon that we can't even think about moving, and so can we. It's just Controlling it and trying to let guys understand. God gave us these skills, just masculinity for masculinity, for a reason. Let's control it, let's do it all we can to serve others and ultimately glorify him. And I think when we start making those connections it's like, ah, I see, I see, and that that's where to really the wheels of change start turning.
Speaker 1:There is a reason that you're on this podcast. So one of the things that I coach it's part of the 15 week leadership challenge is building a house of leadership which is really like your leadership philosophy and and part of your house of leadership that I learned from JR flatter is that our foundation is critical. What is the bedrock that we were going to build our house on? And and my bedrock is meekness. I define it as as meekness and if you look at, like, what Webster dictionary has defined and I swear I did not like Google you and figure this out, this is something that I journaled about is the quality or state of being meek a mild, moderate, humble or submissive quality. But that is not what meekness means.
Speaker 1:Meekness and my definition is different. It's a leader who could command an organization with humility, understanding, gratitude and a servant heart. I like to call it hugs. You have to have strength under Control and, at the end of the day, when you have that meek quality, it is a superpower. And I'm telling you right now, like and it doesn't matter what role or what job you have, like I'm in the combat arms, if you want to think about it. Like, at the end of the day, like I'm kind of like James Bond, I have a license to kill when we're deployed right, which is not true. I'm not that cool.
Speaker 2:But it sounds like it, though, I mean, really comes off that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it sounds cool, right, but, but understanding that when you're leading in that type of environment with a bunch of alpha men and women, right, meekness shines and it resonates. It doesn't matter what job you're in, as long as you have humility, understanding, gratitude, and then you have that servile heart, that passion to serve other people. And meekness is not a weakness. If you are listening to this, if anyone's listening to this, if you can just listen to an organization and then when you speak, it commands attention. That is meekness Listen intently and understand what the true core problems are, and then when you speak, it should demand attention. And that is the perfect example of it. I love that.
Speaker 2:Amen, that's what it's about. I mean, the whole interview I got he was in the US Air Force and he was just. He talked about debriefing and the art of debriefing. Yep, you know you talk about alpha dogs like these guys who fly these fighter Jets and things like that, and he talked about it too. You know about showing that meekness and because when you're out there and putting your life on the line like that at those speeds, you know you can't have, you know these big personalities because somebody you can get killed, I mean, and you just have to understand you know what sometimes being a meek leader, it's just gonna put you in so much of a better position to be successful, and that's one of the things that he really emphasized with me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll have to put you in touch with a good buddy of mine. He's an A10 pilot for the Air Force and I think he would be some someone that you need to know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But kind of continuing. You know where are you at currently on your leadership journey. So we know, have the lion within us. Can you kind of walk me through what that means, what your mission set is right now?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and right now it's all about helping men, christian men, be the leaders that God intends them to be, and so that's really what it's about. So we, you know, we have the podcast, which is great news. That's that's doing really well. But then the bigger thing is the community. We built a community that I'm able to bring men together with the same worldview, same goals, and we built our own platform to where these guys can come together. We have events pretty much happening every day. You know, within the community, it's all virtual where guys can get together. So we have guys from all over the country and they're talking about how to be better stewards, how to be better of their finances, how to be better dads, how to be better husbands, how to take control of their body better, and you know, actually, you know put the Doritos down and start doing some pushups, and you know how to have, you know, renewing your mind. So we really focus on those types of areas.
Speaker 2:And then the most recent thing that I'm most excited about is our summit leadership development. We've created that, and that's really where we trying to take this book right here, the Bible, and apply it to business, home, our life, and stop being these two versions this guy that lives on Sunday and this guy who lives money through Saturday Like let's just bring them together and not be out there without like a Bible thumper and feel like you have to know all these verses and throwing them at people. But no, there's virtues and there's leadership qualities that scripture shows us. How can we apply them to our situation? And I'm not talking about first pastors I mean we work, we do have pastors but I'm talking about guys who just work in regular jobs, guys who are serving in the military. We have guys in the military, in the community and just trying to show them.
Speaker 2:Hey, when it comes to having vision, and what does that mean, give me a. I'm going to give you a bad example from the scripture and a good example from scripture and then we go talk about how you can apply that to your life, or being a courageous listener, or being a diligent problem solver, like all the things that are out there that we need to do this, so many of these soft skills from a leadership standpoint. But let's put a little biblical lens on it so that for guys of faith it just really resonates with them. So that's where we're moving forward. We're cranking that up. We have a cohort full and we're getting ready to start a second cohort and we're just I'm so amped up about it because I see that this is a gap and this is a need, and there's businesses out there that seem to be embracing it and hopefully it'll be something that we can keep doing, moving forward.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's amazing. I think you hit on something really important there. That I want to make sure that I highlight is that there should not be two versions of ourselves. There should not be a personal and a professional Chris. That is the same person, and there should not be a personal or professional Josh. I should be the same person.
Speaker 1:The individual that is leading troops in combat is the same individual that is leading his family at home. It should be the same person, and it took me a long time to realize that and it took me a long time to mature that, because I remember when I was maturing my leadership, especially when I was a young officer, I would find myself talking to my wife as if she were a soldier. And I'll tell you, the fastest way to make your wife mad is to give her a knife hand and tell her to go do something. And then she's like I am not your soldier and I have to catch myself like yep, you're, you're right, babe. And I had to kind of learn that and that just took a level of maturity and and going through some bumps, which is that Well, I'm just I'm tired of seeing these guys, man, I've seen guys that they'll take this thing and they'll.
Speaker 2:They'll go to a church, don't? Maybe once or twice a month, or sometimes they'll actually leave this thing in a truck. They never look at it and I'm sitting and I'll just tell them, like all right, fellas, would you eat once a week or would you eat twice a month? They're like, they're looking me, like what are you talking about, man? I'm like seriously, bro, you're expecting some dude that you barely know to spirit to just feed you to where you're full and you're going to make it back less than so. Let's just pretend that's food. And you get that one sermon every couple of weeks. About three or four days into it you can be ready to kill somebody for something to eat. And what I'm telling you is like it ain't that dude's job to be spiritually guiding you and teaching you every week. No, it's your job. You need to take responsibility. You got to crack this open. It's not the church's job to guide our families and to lead our kids, it's. You know, I have a great church. It's not their job. Guess whose job it is, it's mine. I want my kids to have a relationship with the Lord. I better be teaching them, and this is what I'm looking for guys that are ready to. You know what? Yeah, I want to. I want to figure that out. I may be a little intimidated, but dog on it, I want to figure it out. And those are the guys that we can help. Man, because so many of them feel under qualified, you start bringing up, like bro, two things you have, you want to.
Speaker 2:I've seen some guys almost think from these questions like all right, hey, do you pray with your wife. And they'll look at me like bro, have you lost your mind? And then the second question be like hey, how about leaving leading a family devotion? Have you ever done that? And they would rather. I think they would just rather jump off a bridge and do either one of those.
Speaker 2:And I'm just trying to show them like look, this is where a church is with many ways. Let us down, because they don't teach us how to do this stuff. So this is what I'm trying to teach guys. Hey, I'm going to show you how you pray with your wife. I'm going to make you look like a straight up baller when it comes to praying with your wife. Is just going to it's going to change the world. And then I'm also going to show you simple ways that you can actually lead your family and be a. You know, just walk them through the Bible without going to seminary, because not everybody's called to go to seminary.
Speaker 2:Some of us are just called to be regular dudes and get out there and follow Christ, because Christ he didn't call all the qualified guys. Who'd he go after? The fishermen, his disciples were a band of misfit toys brother. I mean it was crazy to guys. He called together but they did incredible things.
Speaker 2:So I just I'm trying to show guys that you know what a good old boy from North Carolina is figuring this stuff out each and every day. Have I figured it all out? Absolutely not. I failed every day. But I'll tell you one thing I'm a lot closer to the day than I was yesterday and I'm going to be closer to tomorrow to go a little one if he lets me wake up tomorrow, because I'm going to get in this and I'm going to try to walk this out and I'm going to try to apply it, and when I screw up I'm going to repent. I'm going to ask my wife for forgiveness, I'm going to ask my kids for forgiveness, and we're going to keep moving forward. I think we need to have more and more guys talking about that kind of stuff and that's going to start changing the game 100%.
Speaker 1:It's time for our final show segment that I like to call the killer bees. These are the same four questions that I ask every guest on the tales of leadership podcast Be brief, be brilliant, be present and be gone. Question one what do you believe separates a great leader from an extraordinary leader?
Speaker 2:Humility.
Speaker 1:Number two what is one resource that you can recommend to our listeners? And I think I know what it's going to be.
Speaker 2:I want resource. Yeah, better get your copy of the guy's word and I'm not talking about a app. I'm not talking about an app on your phone either, boys. I'm talking about get a hard copy where you can write notes. Get in, go with the version you can read. I'll do the NASB, do the NIV. Don't go King James or something like that, because you don't talk like that. Get something that you can read. If they have a red, next standard version, get that. Whatever you need to do, so you can understand it.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you just a caveat on that too, man. So I have an IV version, but having a Bible that has the notes on the sides of where you can take notes has been a game changer, because I'm a journaler, I love the journal and I used to put it in a notebook, but having a Bible that you can actually take notes in is amazing, yeah 100%.
Speaker 2:The one that my wife got this for me when we got married is called the Rory Study Bible and what I like about it it has his notes at the bottom. That really kind of gives some good references. I think you need something. It's cool. If you just want to get a copy of God's Word, just get it. But I like having a little bit of you know. Maxwell has a Bible, things like that, but this one right here it's a really good time back to when you want to get down into it. There's some depth there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%. So question three if you could go back in time and give your younger self a piece of advice, what would it be?
Speaker 2:Man nowhere. To start with this one, I think it would be really honestly follow him. You know just, I think I need to understand quicker what that meant was to truly surrender to the Lordship. And what does that mean? Because I didn't get that. I had to go through so much before I got that. But then, when I think about it though, I think I'd do a better job of following him now because I went through the crap. So it's a weird dynamic. But you know, maybe you don't eat as much or drink as much beer. Maybe that would have been a good thing to tell myself back then too.
Speaker 1:I think you went through the pain so you can help others, prevent them from going through that same path, amen. So last, last question how can our listeners find you and how can they add value to you?
Speaker 2:Amen. I mean, you can find me at the lionwithinus, so don't forget to be on the front of it. So it's the lionwithinus, all our stuff's there. You can email me directly. I'm pretty open. It's chris at the lionwithinus. That's my direct email. And so far, what was your question? How can they add value?
Speaker 1:Yeah, how can they add value to you?
Speaker 2:Oh, the biggest thing for me is just understanding from. Adding value to me is where are you struggling from a leadership standpoint when you're Christian journey? Because that's really where I'm trying to understand, trying to help guys. That is, you know what. I'm doing some good things at work, but maybe I'm struggling at home. Or I'm struggling at home and I feel like I'm a better leader at work and I'm trying to figure out how to have the merges to to. I just love hearing from guys, so I encourage you guys to reach out to me. I have zoom calls almost every day with guys who come to the lionwithinus and they just share your story.
Speaker 2:It's not a sales pitch or any junk like that. It's literally just me talking to guys because I love hearing your stories, because it gives me insight on things we need to be building or things we need to be talking about in the future. So reach out to me. I'll set up a zoom call. I mean I'm telling you that is a calendar clearing event for me when those, when I get those emails from guys. So check us out. We do have a 30 days to unleash the lionwithin. That's on our website. It's like a bunch of of emails and references and things like that for you guys. So check out, that's free. So any of that stuff that's on the site, just check that out at the lionwithinus and connect with us there.
Speaker 1:Chris, it's been an honor and a privilege to have you on it. I want to say this Thank you for being patient With me. So when you first reached out, we tried to find the time that would work to get on this podcast, but unfortunately we're in the middle of that move. But thank you for being patient, and then I'm glad we're able to do this, bro.
Speaker 2:Amen, it's God's timing. Man, I'm just glad for your wife's better now, but I'll keep praying for you in your minute. The things that you're doing is thank you for this opportunity.
Speaker 1:Alright team. It is time for our after action review. That was a great episode. So what are the top three takeaways? The first one is just kind of a bonus, and I'm just going to re-share this what Chris's favorite quote from scripture was, because I think it's important to kind of understand and it really feeds into what I believe the first takeaway is, and it's James, chapter one, verses two through three Consider pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know what the testing of your faith produces. Perseverance and that's true, and I talked about this is that leadership is chaotic. Chaos, life is chaotic, it is chaos. All we need to do is what I like to call the three C's have a passion, have a purpose and have perspective, and if we can do those things, that equals fulfillment. That is the equation, in my mind, of having a fulfilled life understanding what our passion is, understanding what our purpose is, and then understanding and having a plan. Perspective, because when we have perspective, everything comes into focus. And we have a saying in the military aim small, miss small. So what is the first takeaway?
Speaker 1:I wrote down vulnerability, because I believe that that is a skill that is often overlooked, especially with individuals who are just starting out. So Chris had a rare opportunity of being a leader, you know, when he was 14 running an arcade and then 22, taking over a sales manager position within his engineering job. But how was he always successful? How can he always connect with people authentically? What's? Because he's vulnerable. He understands that he does not know all the questions he or he does not know all the answers and he asks the right questions. If you want to grow on your leadership, you need to understand that you have to be vulnerable. And being vulnerable does not mean that it's weak. It means that you're letting go of your ego and you're able to actually connect with people on a more authentic level.
Speaker 1:And before we get to the second one, I'll reshare what I love about the Bible in terms of what my favorite piece of scripture is, and it's Matthew, chapter 5 through verse 14 through 16. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do the people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on a stand and it gives light to everyone in the house in the same way. Let your light shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Remember, as a leader, you have to inspire, and in order to inspire, you always need to be the light and no matter how dark it gets, you always need to be the light.
Speaker 1:Number two key takeaway meekness. Meekness is a superpower, and I kind of walk through this by defining the acronym hugs, humility, understanding, gratitude and having a servant heart. So again, webster, if you look up what meekness means there, it's qualities that are mild, moderate, humble or submissive. That is not what meek leadership is about. It is about strength under control. It is about having the power to act but having the restraint not to act, and understanding when to turn that power on and when to set it off and or to turn it off.
Speaker 1:Deeds, not words. Active listening when you do speak, people will listen because it commands the room. And meekness if you break it down. And I've shared this before, but I'll share it again. So let's start off with M. Meekness is not weakness, it is strength under control.
Speaker 1:The E it's engaged, listening, listening to the whispers and then decisively acting. The second E evaluate the moment. You need to constantly understand what the operational environment is. And the last one is K, having a servant heart, and that's all about head, heart, hand alignment as a leader. Being a meek leader is acting decisively, listening intently but being humble and understanding, and understanding that you are, at the end of the day, there to serve others, not yourself.
Speaker 1:So meekness is not a weakness, and if anyone ever tells you that they are not a leader worth following, the third key takeaway that I wrote down is to be empathetic, and that is very hard to do, I think, is a leader, because the longer you go and leadership roles, the more you are going to be tested, the more people are going to try to take advantage of you, and I've had countless different stories of soldiers trying to take advantage of me. But when I look at it from a more holistic point of view, it wasn't just, you know, one or two soldiers that tried to take advantage of me. It really was countless soldiers that I was able to help because I was empathetic. And how do we do that? Well, the rule of three C's being coachable, being committed and being curious. And really, on those last two, being committed and curious, if you're a leader, you are responsible for everything that happens or fails to happen within your organization. So if someone on your team fails, you have to be committed to their growth. And then curious. You need to remain curious about your job. Why did those individuals fail? And if you can do those things, I believe it allows you to be more empathetic in cultivating a culture of where failure is a good thing, it's celebrated, and I really learned that through engineering and it's funny we both have that background.
Speaker 1:Engineering is just a series of failures and every failure is celebrated, because usually every failure is an incremental approach to building towards a final product. It's just like a space launch. Well, the first time they just turn their engines on, they do drive fire tests. Maybe the second time they turn their engine on and then they do a fueling test and then maybe they finally do a rocket launch and it only gets about two minutes up and then just blows up. That is progress. All of that is progress, and failure, as long as you're advancing forward, should be celebrated.
Speaker 1:Hey guys, do me a favor. If you like what you hear, it would mean the world to me if you share this podcast. Regardless. If you're a leader just starting out on your leadership journey or you have been a seasoned leader, listen to this podcast but, more importantly, share it with someone who is just starting out on their leadership journey. Number two leave me a five-star review. Whatever platform you are listening on, it would mean the world to me because it would help me reach more people and then finally support the channel. If you like the content and add value to you, go to tells the leadership forward. Slash buzzsproutcom and go support the channel. It would mean the world to me and it would allow me to continue to produce powerful content for you guys. As always, I'm your host, josh mcmillian, saying every day is a gift. Don't waste yours. I'll see you next time.