Jessie Kanzer is the award-winning author of Don’t Just Sit There, DO NOTHING and Unlocking Your Inner Zelensky. She was born in the Soviet Union and left at age eight. A former reporter and actress, she once found herself on the set of a Zelensky film and has been following his story ever since. Kanzer’s writing has appeared in The New York Times, USA Today, the Washington Post, and many other publications. She's been interviewed on podcasts and TV programs across the country. She lives with her husband, two daughters, and two cats in Dobbs Ferry, NY.
Connect with Jessie Kanzer:
- Website: https://jessiekanzer.com/
- New Book: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250894779/unlockingyourinnerzelensky
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-Leadership Resources: https://linktr.ee/McMillionLeadership
-Resilence-Based Leadership Program: https://resiliencebuildingleader.com/
- Discount Code: JMCMILLION
My Mission: I will end toxic leadership practices by equipping leaders with transformational leadership skills.
Together, we will impact 1 MILLION lives!!!
Every day is a gift, don't waste yours!
Joshua K. McMillion | Founder MLC
Jessie Kanzer is the award-winning author of Don’t Just Sit There, DO NOTHING and Unlocking Your Inner Zelensky. She was born in the Soviet Union and left at age eight. A former reporter and actress, she once found herself on the set of a Zelensky film and has been following his story ever since. Kanzer’s writing has appeared in The New York Times, USA Today, the Washington Post, and many other publications. She's been interviewed on podcasts and TV programs across the country. She lives with her husband, two daughters, and two cats in Dobbs Ferry, NY.
Connect with Jessie Kanzer:
- Website: https://jessiekanzer.com/
- New Book: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250894779/unlockingyourinnerzelensky
✅ SHARE THIS PODCAST
✅ GIVE A 5-STAR REVIEW
✅ SUPPORT
-Leadership Resources: https://linktr.ee/McMillionLeadership
-Resilence-Based Leadership Program: https://resiliencebuildingleader.com/
- Discount Code: JMCMILLION
My Mission: I will end toxic leadership practices by equipping leaders with transformational leadership skills.
Together, we will impact 1 MILLION lives!!!
Every day is a gift, don't waste yours!
Joshua K. McMillion | Founder MLC
You're listening to the Tells of Leadership podcast. This podcast is for leaders at any phase on their leadership journey to become a more purposeful and accountable leader what I like to call a pal. Join me on our journey together towards transformational leadership.
Speaker 2:All right team, welcome back to the Tells of Leadership podcast. I am your host, Josh McMillian. I'm an active duty Army officer and I've been in the military for 16 plus years. I've honestly lost count up to this point, but I am on a mission to end toxic transitional leadership by promoting transformational stories and skills and create a better leader what I like to call a purposeful, accountable leader and on today's episode we're going to be bringing on a transformational leader and letting her share her story Jesse Kanzer.
Speaker 2:She is an award winning author of don't just sit there, do nothing, and unlocking your inner soliski. She was born in the Soviet Union and left as an immigrant at the age of eight. A former reporter and actress, she was once working directly with a soliski on a movie set and has been following him ever since then. Jesse's also a writer that has been published in the New York Times, usa Today, washington Post and many other publications. She's been featured on several other podcast episodes and TV shows, but she is at the core of why I want to bring her on to tells the leadership a purposeful, accountable leader and she has a truly inspiring story and, as always, state to the very end and I'll make sure to share with you the top three takeaways you should have from this episode. Let's go ahead and bring on Jesse. Jesse, welcome to the tells the leadership podcast. How are you doing?
Speaker 3:I'm good and thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a, it's a pleasure and I'm really excited to kind of get into your story, because leadership for me is it's a journey, but we all define it differently, based off, like our experiences that we've we've lived through and you have such a very interesting background. So I'd love to get into that and then the book that you wrote, because I think that there's a lot of wisdom from there that can be shared today, especially today, to help leaders kind of within their journey. But I would want to just start off with, just turn it over to you, if you could define who you are to our listeners. It's a big question up front.
Speaker 3:Sure it is. It is the question, right it funny enough. So the book I'm here to talk about is unlocking your inner Zelensky lessons we can all learn from an unexpected leader. Now, this is a book I wrote as my second book because of who I am. So you asked my identity.
Speaker 3:It's interesting that the first chapter I speak of there is identity. It's something that we always question, I think, but me, as an immigrant child coming to America, I think I've been questioning it more so, especially recently or the last well, it's coming up in two years now that since Russia has invaded Ukraine. It's been a very personal issue and question for me, because so I was a child of the former Soviet Union. I came to America as a refugee. We sought permission to leave, we sought asylum. We got there eventually after spending time in Europe while waiting in various places. It is interesting because that does end up defining you, whether you like it or not. The refugee story does.
Speaker 3:But when I was here, I just really wanted to be American. Now I know that I'm fully American, while also being many other things, but as a child you just want to fit in. So my name was Asya. I changed it to Jesse, I Americanized really as quick as I could. I got rid of my accent. I hope you don't hear it, because otherwise I want my money back from that coach. I have.
Speaker 2:I feel much worse of an accent than you do, so that's. Maybe I need to go get someone to coach me on that.
Speaker 3:No, because yours is lovely and actually, you know, I would have saved my money too, but actually, honestly so I was a Russian speaking kid. I was from Latvia. The Soviet Union was then, you know, had taken over all the neighboring countries, including Latvia, so Russian was my primary language and it's a very harsh accent, yeah, so you know like I lived my life here and I Americanized quite well. I was an actress in my early 20s, a struggling actress buying for the Hollywood Dream, and I happened to be in a movie once, and a movie set of a Russian speaking movie, this time being an immigrant, got me a paycheck I've never had before, and so this was in New York and I had a part in a movie where the star was Vladimir Zelensky. This was 2009. He was one of three major stars, russian speaking actors, comedians from various neighboring countries, former Soviet republics, and so this movie was shot and I went on with my life.
Speaker 3:Eventually I threw in the towel on acting, got married, live in a really lovely queen American town, have two kids, live my normal life, and I realized my brother actually texted me and I realized that I had once been in the movie with the now president of Ukraine, so I realized he had been elected. This was 2019. So that's when I really started following Zelensky story, because 10 years before he was elected in Ukraine, I was in a movie set with him, so obviously I had to follow this person more closely. But anyway, I'm going to cut my quick introduction short by way of, you know, introducing also the book. But basically that's me. I'm a writer, I'm a mom, I am an American, but also an immigrant, and also I like to think of myself as citizen of the world.
Speaker 2:I love that, and part of what I like to do on this podcast is to kind of like walk through that journey that led you up to the point that you are on now, that inspired you to write that book. So I definitely want to like revisit a lot of those touch points that you had. But before we do, I would love to hear how you define leadership in your own terms and maybe how has that changed? Starting off in the Soviet Union and then coming into the US as an immigrant and then being part of, like, the Western culture, how has that shaped your definition of leadership?
Speaker 3:And I would just like to add like, yes, I'm part of the Western culture, but I'm also I'm a real spiritual geek, like I'm a person all the way. I like to call myself Boojoo, which is a joke. I was born Jewish but I'm really a Buddhist, so lots of definitions as you go, but I'm. Spirituality also features very heavily in my day of leadership. And let's start with the Soviet Union, as you said, very authoritarian, clearly still the case. Now I say to people who are interested in talking about this with me that look, putin, the president of Russia, was a KGB operative Maybe, for those who don't know, was a very brutal arm of the Soviet Union that was responsible for the jailing and deaths and of many people. So, essentially, who's the lead? It's, it's Putin and other KGB cronies who are in charge of Russia. So it's still. It's basically Soviet Union renamed as Russia. I just I like to tell people that, because I don't think everyone understands that and it's important message to get across. The leadership style there is completely different. I know we have a lot of conversations and I'm glad we do, because we're a democratic country about loss of freedom in many ways and look, we're a democratic self correcting system. I see that all the time. It doesn't mean we're not a mess. Sometimes, clearly we are. I would like to say it's a huge, huge difference.
Speaker 3:Styles of leadership and authoritarian places like the Soviet Union now Russia. Basically, growing up as a child there, you really learn to not even question authority. You're not even allowed to question authority because you know that questioning authority gets you followed by the KGB and thrown in jail. This has happened to my answers to my grandfather. You know my dad was followed by the KGB once, for he was a musician. He played. So basically, you learn, you learn through fear as a child. So leadership is really forceful and fear based and, look, it does shape how you, how you evolve as a person because we live fear based for a while. It stays with you, it stays with your brain and actually there are neuroscience proofs how consistent repetitive things like fear based authority it remains in your brain. So in my many years in America which I you know, I've been here since I was eight I've been working on removing that fear, because I think one thing that we have which is really cool we have a thousand different styles of leadership here 100%.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's so many.
Speaker 3:There's so many, so you really get to choose. And so, as a mom, that's my big leadership role, the biggest leadership role, because you know otherwise I'm a writer it's a really solitary profession. Yeah, as a mom, I am not a fear based leader. You could ask my kids. Sometimes I need a little more fear in it, but I'm really. I really stay away from that. So it's made me more inventive as a leader, even before becoming mom. You know I did. I was in the corporate role for a while, I was in advertising. I did have. I once had to manage, like many interns for for several years, and I look for inspirational type of leadership. And how can you inspire the people that you are leading to do their best, their greatest? And if you can empower them, however, you can help them. You know. However you can empower them to to reach for their best, I think you're going to win, even if their best looks a little different than what you would think.
Speaker 2:I love that and my definition of leadership is down to one word. What you just said, hit the nail on the head, it's to inspire, because when we inspire it's through our words and it's through our actions, and you hit so many great points on that. So Russian, authoritarian style leadership, what does that really mean? And I was really hoping that you would be able to define that and you summed it up so beautiful. And it's it's fear, it's through fear, so you're acting through fear, and what is that hamper in the military? And this is why I think it's going to be really cool, because we're going to get a different perspective and I could put, like my military had on.
Speaker 2:One of the key attributes of our military and then our NATO, nato partners and alliances is how we run tactical mission operations and we have a concept is called mission command and it's I think it's an ADP six dash zero. But mission command is essentially allowing you to run decentralized operations and giving authority down to the lowest level, but also empowering them to make those decisions. So authority and power push down to the lowest level possible. For us, as the non-commission corps at the rank of E5, you know 18 to 21 year old men and women that can make those decisions, versus going all the way up to the top and to the top of the leadership hierarchy, which really is probably Vladimir Putin or some general. And what does that do? It just stymies growth and movement and momentum.
Speaker 2:That is one of the biggest reasons for me personally that I think that the Ukrainian military is done so well and the modern conflict with Russia, which is a travesty in itself it really is, but it's because they have that level of mission, command of where they trust and they empower and they inspire others. Linsky does it through his words and his deeds. I remember one of his quotes when, when it kicked off and there was a president, biden was like hey, we're sending the plane to you.
Speaker 2:He's like I don't need your plane, I need bullets wow like Mike drop right there and I was that that dude is someone who is going to inspire and he's done that. He's done it to the point of where other people from other countries are willing to come and fight for him. You said another thing that I absolutely love when kind of throwing that fear had on and I wrote down fear and I use an excuse for it is finding excuses and reasons not to take action. But we have to be able to turn fear in a way to kind of like inspire us and I think that's what we do very well from the western side versus the eastern side is that we, we, we love the discomfort in the space because it stretches us. That's why we're so innovative, we're so curious and you can see that through the technology we have. So, mike drop, moment for how you define leadership. So I think we can just end this episode now. But a joke, and we're basically we're done.
Speaker 2:Yeah so kind of continuing. I read your back story and your family has. Not. Not only did you grow up in Russia, but you also had family members that were part of the Holocaust and I think you growing up in that level of just such a rich wisdom, base of all the pain that people have went through, how did that kind of shape you? And I think you also use a concept that children are mirrors, which I absolutely love.
Speaker 3:Don't, don't don't hate me, the that's the lonesome concept, by the way. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Could you get into that, maybe share some of those stories.
Speaker 3:Sure, I'd love to. So look, anybody of my generation who had Holocaust surviving grandparents is affected by that Again, like it or not. A lot of our of who we become happens before we're born. And since there is a big war going on now, you know, I think constantly about the kids who don't even realize how that's going to affect them, and then their kids. Unfortunately, the ramifications of violence last for generations. For me it was. It was something I knew, probably way too early, if I think about it. So my grandma my babushka she was called my grandma really raised us. Immigrant parents have to work their butts off. I mean, it's the only way that we were going to make it here. So she took care of us. So these are stories I listen to constantly and you know, it's funny because in raising my kids I feel such a protectiveness of not wanting to burden them with the reality of the world. That was all crushed when the war in Ukraine began, because to my, my dad is from Ukraine.
Speaker 3:I've been there. You know my grandfather who was speaking of the Holocaust. He was a World War Two hero. He was injured many times, fought for the Soviet army against the Nazis. I think he's rolling over in his grave. I just think about how he's buried in Venetian, ukraine.
Speaker 3:He fought against terror. It must be. It's a very difficult situation to acknowledge that this is literally the phrase of the Holocaust is never again, that we're not going to let it happen again. And it's, it is happening, it is happening. I do believe that the world is stepping up this time.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I know there's a lot of conflict we're not going to get into the politics of this, but I think ultimately, I think ultimately the world will not allow Russia to win this. And, like you said, there's a lot of differences in even how the fight goes on from the Ukrainian side, from the Western side. I mean Ukrainian military has been heavily influenced by American military tactics and you know, I just always believe freedom will win. But that being said, the story of the Holocaust, so you could look at it and just be really sad. It's not constructive. I look at it and one of the things Zelensky has said he too, his grandfather too, had fought the Nazis. He was the sole surviving son of three, the grandfather. So it's interesting that President Zelensky is the grandson of the sole surviving brother of people who perished in the Holocaust and in the army in Ukraine. So he had said, in the darkest of times there's always light.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 3:He says that every year on there's a memorial that goes on. A lot of people died, a lot of Jews died in Ukraine during the Holocaust. So he does a memorial service and he says that every time. And so that's what I remember, because you know what my grandmother did survive. And then you know my parents were born and I was born and various grandparents who suffered and ran during that time. My grandparents in Ukraine really had to during you know, world War II was World War II and unfortunately, while some form of it is repeating again, I remember. Those are very important words for me to remember that the light will triumph.
Speaker 2:There's a quote that I always kind of go back to. I love Buddha's you. I don't think I've ever heard that term before, so that is super cool For me because we all have our own spiritual backing. I think based on, like my leadership. It's very heavily influenced from from scripture, from a Christian perspective, but there's a Matthew chapter 514 through 16 quote that basically sums up that that you are the light of the world and it kind of talks about like, no matter how dark it may seem, that there is always a glimmer of light and it doesn't matter how dark it is, that light will always overcome the darkness. And I love that, exactly what you just said and the other quotes.
Speaker 3:Jesus Christ quotes as well, because, well, how could you not be and I think it's interesting one of the things that you know unlocking your inner Zolensky? The reason I wrote it is not because I wanted to just be like, oh, I just want to spread more information. You know, that is a useful tool that I can, while here, also be like you know, also maybe explain why support for Ukraine is important. That's a positive side, that's like a side part of that. But the truth is I wrote it because you know you brought up the scriptures. That's why I wanted to bring this up, because Jesus always taught that what I can do, you can do too. That was a big part of his teachings that just with faith alone right, the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains. So, zolensky, from the beginning from the time he got elected in 2019, he always said he said I'm not a politician, I'm just a simple person who has come to break down the system.
Speaker 2:That was one of my top three quotes that I wrote down for this episode that I wanted to get into. So, yep, I love it.
Speaker 3:And he always said so. He was, you know, given the time person of the year award last year and he was like you know, he was named like leader of our time and he was like every single one of us is the leader of our time and his constant and in many of his interviews because, you know, obviously I had to sit through many of them and they were honestly a pleasure he's like a, he's like a machine who just says wisdom and it's interestingly enough, some of his closest advisors were like no, he's the man's speechwriter and when you work as a speechwriter, what you have to do is write quickly, because he speaks in ready made speeches and sentences. He's, you know, wise being. This is his, I guess, a name gift.
Speaker 3:But one of the things he said constantly, constantly in his interviews and his speeches he's always like I'm just a guy, I'm a regular person, I'm a regular person who has come to to change things. And then, when asked, you know, how do you do this day in, day out, how do you keep doing the work that you do for your people? He's always like well, I, I can't be worse than my people, my people are doing a great job, my nurses and doctors are teachers or servicemen or military, like they're all putting everything they have into what they're doing. So I have to do the same. Yeah, and one of the major tenants of unlocking your inner Zolenskis this idea of removing the limits around, this idea of ordinary. We're all ordinary people and we're all leaders of our time, so that means there's no limits to what anyone individual can accomplish.
Speaker 2:All right, team, let's take a quick break from this podcast and I want to personally invite you to our private Facebook community that I call Purposeful Accountable Leaders, or PALS. Pals is a community dedicated to inspiring and developing servant leaders by sharing transformational stories and skills Exactly what tells the leadership is all about. My goal is to build a community of like-minded leaders that can share lessons, learn, ask questions and celebrate wins when it happens. And my mission in life is clear I will end toxic leadership by sharing transformational stories and skills, and you will find countless transformational leaders in this group. Many of them I have had the honor to serve with in the military. If you want to find a community that can help you grow both personally and professionally, we would love to have you. You can simply search Purposeful Accountable Leaders on Facebook or click the Leadership Resources tab in the show notes to join. I am looking forward to seeing you guys and continuing to grow together on our leadership journey. Back to the podcast.
Speaker 2:There's two things that I pulled from that authenticity and alignment. I think one of the biggest reasons that Zelensky is so influential, especially when he speaks, is that it's not from a can like script writer. It comes from the heart. So he's very authentic with his words and then he also models the way. So always have a saying deeds, not words, because actions speak louder than any words. But the second is alignment, and I believe it comes through head, heart and hand, and Jerry St Pierre, I think one of my good friends, kind of coined that term. But we had to be able to see it, we had to be able to feel it, and when we can connect alignment between our head and our heart, then we can go do it. And then that's what Zelensky is so powerful at doing, is that he can create that alignment between people's heads and hearts to where it inspires them to go take action. So again, I love all of that.
Speaker 3:But it's so spiritual. The head, heart alignment is such a spiritual idea. I love that too.
Speaker 2:There was another thing when I was looking through kind of your history because I think it's a deep level of resilience on your part, of how you were able to go through the storm. I think of being an immigrant in America and all the adversity that came with that, with the different labeling, that you thought you had to kind of change who you were and you had like a dawning or a moment of where you realized that after having children, that you wanted to create strong women and then, in order to do that, you had to be one. So I wonder if you could kind of take the time to walk through that mindset shift, because I think that that's critical of being able to be resilient, especially as a leader, regardless of your environment, but then also being able to shape your environment so you can continue to grow.
Speaker 3:Yes, thank you for that question and the interestingly, to get back to what you had mentioned the chapter about, there's a chapter in Unlocking your inner Zolensky that's called Children as Guideposts.
Speaker 3:You played that I had once said children are mirrors of our former selves. That's that's. I remember I think there was an older essay that was turned into a video essay. I know exactly what you're talking about now, but it's interestingly that I also have in this book Children as Guideposts. You know, when he was elected he had said don't hang my picture on the wall, hang pictures of your children and look at them every time you're about to make a decision. And so what I loved again another reason I wrote this book is I love that you can take these leadership qualities of an actual leader right, an actual leader of an entire country, not to mention a country in war. But you can take those tenets and use them in your own life, because we're all leaders, even in the smallest ways. So for me.
Speaker 3:I realized in the least I had to lead my daughters and that was a really inspirational. It has been a very inspirational experience for me. It's really made me a better self because, having two daughters, I realized how important their mother is to them, not just in taking care of them, which I do and all of the stuff that we do as parents I do that but as a person that they look at. How is she in the world? Because we often kids. They emulate what they see even more than what they hear. So if I'm bringing myself in the world as a really insecure, angsty person which does live inside me but if I'm constantly she, that angsty, insecure, struggling person, they're going to emulate that, like it or not. So it's made me elevate myself to. How can I reach for a stronger version?
Speaker 2:There's a concept that I have and I think we're alignment there and like a rule of leadership is mirrors, and exactly what you kind of just summed up is that whatever we do, whatever we say, is emulated within our organization or our family. And I have a pretty strong morning routine. So, like every morning, I get up at four because I have to, because I'm an active duty Army officer. I'm actually off today because it's my birthday.
Speaker 3:Oh, happy birthday. Oh, you're a Libra, you're a Libra, I know you better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm an October baby, yeah, but kind of when I started doing that morning routine very deliberately and intentionally, I started seeing my daughter, more so because she was more mature, starting to emulate some of the behaviors that I had.
Speaker 2:So I always try to read and always try to journal. Well, she just had her birthday in September, so this year she wanted a journal so she could start journaling on things, and then she always takes the time to read now and that it's funny. That that is a critical lesson that I wanted to make sure that it's sticky in this episode is what we do. It echoes more than than what we say sometimes, because I'm not the most articulate person when I come to talk to my daughter or my son about parenting my wife is way better than that. But I'm very good at kind of modeling the behaviors that have made me successful throughout my career and now I'm starting to see that in my children and it's funny when you're talking about that, I was kind of like reflecting on that is so powerful of how we show up in this world is more impactful for other people because they just need that spark or that inspiration which I'm starting to see as a theme, and I love that.
Speaker 3:By the way, I'm also September birthday, so I feel like I have some ideas of your daughter too.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, when is your birthday?
Speaker 3:September 15th is my birthday.
Speaker 2:Okay, hers is the 26th. That would have been funny if it was on the same day.
Speaker 3:Oh, so she's on the cusp. She's on the cusp, then she has some qualities, like you, I'm sure.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, 100%. She's a mini Josh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah that's. I mean first of all, kudos to you for just getting up at four every day, because it's not easy. We're not going to pretend that it's an easy thing to do. You've had to do this for a long time. At this point, I assume.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so 100%, to be kind of intentional with what I want to do and how I want to show up in the world and the change that I want to see, there's the level of sacrifice that comes with that purpose and a lot of people I don't think are able to actually make that sacrifice. They say it but their deeds don't kind of follow through with it. And then with me I'm not sacrificing time with my family and I can't sacrifice the mission that I'm doing because it's a highly critical mission. So I will sacrifice sleep. That is the level of sacrifice that I'll have to grow intentionally where I want to grow. But yeah, it's sometimes it's difficult, but my, my why is big enough to where it demands a response.
Speaker 3:Well, you're so right that you know we are full platters. So there's always something always has to give. I always talk about that also in terms of bringing something new into your life. Something has to give, like if you really want a big change, there's going to be a sacrifice.
Speaker 2:If you say something yes to something new, something in your life has to give. That is such a powerful statement and it's hard now, like we're out where I'm doing this podcast and I'm meeting amazing people like you, jesse. Sometimes we have very close connections and you know that may blossom into something else, like later down the road, and I have to find myself saying no more than yes now because we are. The most probably overused quote ever in the history is 24 hours in a day. We all have 24 hours in a day and and I find myself as a become more, I guess, popular in terms of like social media and the content that I'm pushing out I have to say no more often, and then my wife will also tell me hey, you can't do that, she'll check me.
Speaker 3:Family time. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right, and that's the saying no, the power of no is a big one, and it's really really an important lesson for women as well. Because, a lot of us do tend to just be these people pleasing folks, whether we like it or not. Again, kind of a construct of society to some degree. It's really important to say no to some things if you want to say yes to others.
Speaker 2:How did you learn to do that? You know, through me I did it because of I clearly knew where I wanted to go, but throughout, like your life, how did you, when was that moment that you realized I can't do that? If I want to grow in this area and learn to say no, because I think there's a cultural but also like a difference between it's easy for a man, I feel like you know, to say no to things. But exactly what you just said you know the female leaders that are out there the day, and especially where I work right now in a SOCOM world, so special operations command is that the women that I've seen work in that organization have to, I think, pretend that there's something that they're not much, much harder, much more rough exterior and they always have to say yes to things. So how did you learn to say no?
Speaker 3:So for me, if I'm being fully honest, it was a mental, mental health reasons. I had mental health issues after the whole refugee experience and all the growing up that I had always tasted a smile over the pain. I didn't really deal with things until I came to a crisis point where I had to. You know I was dealing with depression, anxiety and eating disorder. This was, you know, in my early 20s still, and I was really. I was at a breaking point. So sometimes the beauty of breaking points is that you really have nothing to lose from there.
Speaker 3:But I had to restructure myself and what that, what that means. Who am I? And for me, my mental health is number one. Even as a mom, even before, before, I could put other people as a priority, my mental health comes first, and so, because my mental health comes first, I have to say no to anything that endangers it too much, and so if I'm getting overwhelmed, there's too much going on. I know that I will have to say no to things that I do, because for me, some of these knows are, for example, you know, look, I raised kids in the suburb, highly social community.
Speaker 2:I say no to social.
Speaker 3:They do it all the time, and it's not because I don't want to. In that moment we all want to belong, but I know that only 24 hours in a day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, their connection is hardwired, I think, in us is that we thrive. That level of connection this is where my wife and I are totally opposite is that she needs those connections. I do not. I can film podcasts, talk about leadership, read books, journal, do that all day long and be fully content. The human interactions with me. I get so much of it outside working is that I like to kind of just be in my space.
Speaker 2:But you said something there that was beautiful of. I don't like to use the word balance but finding a harmony between self-family and then work or whatever our passion is. But it starts with ourselves. And to fill our cups up is not selfish, and I think a lot of people kind of view it from that standpoint is that if we take care of ourselves, then we're being selfish. But I want to kind of flip that 180 is that when we take care of ourselves, it's a battery. We're charging our own energy supplies up, so then we can go out into this world and be the best mother Jesse can be the best mother that she needs to be and then the best author possible, so we can make more of an impact. But it all starts with how we take care of ourselves, and that took me a really long time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I mean you're, you've nailed it and, by the way, my husband is very similar to you. I have one, I wonder. Look, there's gender differences too. I wonder if you know, I watch my little girls and I only ended up with Jo's girls and it starts pretty young, that need for connection with other girls and a lot of it, a lot of it. Do I have a house full of girls often, yes, so there's a chapter in Unlocking your New Zealand's case as well. That's called Use your Energy Wisely. So, as we talked about, like being pulled in many directions and having only 24 hours in a day, we can all just imagine the pressures on Vladomir Zelensky, and he talks often about it. He talks often even in his videos to his people. He says we have to take care of ourselves, we have to stay strong, we have to take care of our energy and our emotions and our say. You know, because he said over and over, like we don't know how long this will take.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:He always said victory will, we will be victorious. But we don't know how long that will take. And he look. Anyone who keeps an eye on him realizes like clearly the man makes time to work out. He wears the RVT, so we know.
Speaker 2:He doesn't.
Speaker 3:And he said, he said in several letters yeah, yeah, he physical exercise, he needs it.
Speaker 2:And in the military real quick is that we have combat t-shirts that we wear, and then I used to have a sardine major that would tell me is like that's the test, josh, like when people wear combat t-shirts if they're overweight or they're not, or if they take physical training serious or not, and it's funny, yeah.
Speaker 2:So he totally, he totally takes that time to kind of fill up his cup and then, before all of this started to, you could see like that balance that he had with his family.
Speaker 2:He had such an amazing kind of balance before before the war really started, and I think that's one reason that he is so intentional and able to like, pour that energy into the problems that demand his time and I love how you use that that term use your energy wisely, because as a leader, especially when you get to that level, if you grow in more of a strategic level role, the problems that demand your attention should be the problems that you focus on and not getting so mired down the tactical level decisions.
Speaker 2:So I wanted to kind of just resonate on that point of putting it through the filter of how I think in terms of military. I'd love to kind of get back to you know your story in 2018, where you broke away and you really started to go after employment in terms of just yourself, and then I think that's where you started writing on your own. Is that where you discovered your passion or your purpose, or like that spark moment that, hey, this is where I can connect what I love doing with the purpose or my why in the world?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, you know, when I first started writing professionally, like started publishing articles, it's hard to think of your own story as interesting. I think we all know that. I mean our stories are very interesting to ourselves. I think the most interesting story to anyone is their own story because, look, it's the way you became who you are.
Speaker 3:But, when I started writing with my story. You know the story of being an immigrant in America is a common story, but if you're able to put it into words well, maybe you bring that experience to other people. And you know, I got to tell you with my writing the thing I get. The most people of very different walks of life will say to me this is exactly how I feel.
Speaker 2:This is exactly what I went through.
Speaker 3:This is how I had to deal, and so what I found through the writing has been that we're really all alike in our struggles, even if they look different on the outside. So my struggle is the struggle of a refugee. Somebody else's struggle is the struggle of having whatever an alcoholic parent, let's say. Like people, we all struggle. That's part of life, that's part of being human, and the struggle feels the same, even if it looks, the form it takes is different, and so getting through a struggle can actually become a template that works for other people as well. So when I started writing, I started writing with my stories, and you know, then I got a personal essay published in the New York Times or the LA Times and some of the bigger papers, and that's when I had this realization. Well, two realizations. One is that we're all connected, that we are all more similar than we think, even with whatever different idiosyncrasies of our life, you know we're pretty similar. And then the other one is when you put yourself out there, you will get criticism.
Speaker 3:And if you're going to take it personally, you better stop now. So you have to make a choice, and that's another, by the way, Zelensky lesson to tie that in. You know, he really really had to rely on his inner vision of himself and not the critics, and it's something that's been helping me a lot. You know, in writing a book, you kind of absorb the lessons yourself. That's a big one. Whenever you put yourself in the ring, there will be critics.
Speaker 2:There is a quote out there.
Speaker 3:I can't remember the one I think you're. If you're, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Rosa Roosevelt. The man in the arena is that, basically, to sum it up, because it's a really, really, really long quote and I, my last y'all, when I was getting ready to transition out, I was convinced that, okay, I'm going to read this verbatim. And my wife convinced me not to do it. But like when I, when I read it, I get so like deeply emotional about it, because when you read it, you can hear it that the man in the arena or the woman in the arena deserves the credit because they are doing the work.
Speaker 2:But too often and that's a powerful lesson that you just said is when we put ourselves out there, it's not praise that we usually get right away, it's it's criticism. And to me, that was one of the hardest things to kind of overcome when I started this whole journey is that I was very afraid of how people were going to view me because I'm an active duty army officer and they're like oh, he has an agenda, he's trying to make money and do all those things. No, I lost soldiers and I've seen what poor leadership can do and I'm on a mission to change that and show you that you can care about people and still be highly successful, and whatever career field you want. Like. I work in Socom right now and I have a totally different leadership philosophy than most people and I have been highly successful and that's kind of like my giant. And that was another key thing that you said that is so true is that we all have our own giants.
Speaker 3:Maybe it's imposter syndrome or maybe it's a middle of the syndrome too, by the way, it's it's, it's your result, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we all, we all have a giant that we have to learn to overcome, and I've learned what mine was. It's it's anger. I have a very short fuse on a couple of key things, but I was able to kind of overcome that by understanding who I was. More on a deeper level, like what are the core values, how do I make decisions, how do I guide, like my, my life, who I want to grow into, and so that's, that's beautiful. So you started writing.
Speaker 3:go ahead. Oh yeah, no, I just wanted to say it's interesting. I I understand anger, that's not. Mine is anxiety and, like you said that the giants are different. But you need to getting over, like you, once you know yourself and you know that anger is the thing that comes to bite you then, and for me it's anxiety. You just you figure out, okay, it's, I see it coming and what do I do about it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, Cause that giant in a way, and I love this kind of metaphor. But in military we have, you know, dead space. It's trained that we can't maneuver on or we can't kind of shape or affect it. But our giant often at times is invisible to us but and it's apparent to everyone else, but when we have that aha moment that our alcohol or drugs or whatever it is gambling that is my giant, then we can begin to call ourselves out on it. When we, when we start to go back into that is that when I, when I catch myself getting mad or angry, I always go back to, I call it my strength statement. But really at the end of the day it's an affirmation is every day is a gift, I'm not going to waste mine.
Speaker 2:And that recenters me because it puts me back in the mindset of like what does it feel like to lose a soldier, knowing that you failed as a leader? Or what does it feel like on a bad day? It's a day, is not a bad day. I can make today a great day and what we're going through is a small problem. And that always recenters me to kind of go forward and just be my best, most authentic present self that I can and whatever situation that I am. But the first book that you wrote, even before we get to the, the one that you just released, is don't just sit there, do something. Was that? Was that your first like major book that you do?
Speaker 3:But that was a joke. You don't just sit there, do nothing was like the plan. Words are there.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:How did you? How did you? I'm curious, like, with that title, how did you come up with that?
Speaker 3:So the book is based on the teachings of the Dao De Ching. The Dao De Ching, for those who don't know, is an ancient philosophy. The Daoism has also become a religion, but it's for me, it's a philosophy. For a lot of people, it's a basic philosophy of living, of how to live and, interestingly, how to live and how to lead, I would say.
Speaker 3:And so the Dao De Ching was very helpful to me through my struggles, and so the reason it's called don't just sit there, do nothing is because it's also filled the Dao is filled with paradoxes, and it's a paradox, paradoxical statement don't just sit there, do nothing, but the, the, the, a lot, a lot of the statement. The statements within the book are paradoxical as well, and so they make you just sit there and think and like how can both be true? But, as anyone who's lived in the world long enough knows that we, we exist in duality, so two opposite things can be true at the same time. You know like you could be really stressed and have a ton to do, and you need to take five minutes to sit there and do nothing and center yourself. So yeah, as an example, chaos and order.
Speaker 2:I kind of like that duality piece and one of my favorite quotes from from that was he who knows men is clever. He who knows himself has insight. He who conquers men has force. He who conquers himself is truly strong. Like I was. I was going through that kind of preparing for this episode and that one really paused because those first two points were where I was five, six, seven, 10 years ago my leadership journey. But I've recently kind of switched over it. But it took a lot of time and self reflection to kind of get to that so kind of writing through that book. What inspired you to to write that book and what are some of the key takeaways that you can apply to your leadership?
Speaker 3:So that book was from my own personal journey. So what I did is I would take every chapter and I would start it with a verse from the Dao and I would explain how that showed up in my life. And often the way it showed up in my life was through. I mean, I also call it my humiliation book, like, like I go, I just really share there. I'm an overshare by nature. One of these days I will make it to fiction because I'm already like I've I've used myself up.
Speaker 3:But I go into a lot of my own mistakes in that book, in life. Because again, one of those things that I realized afterwards is oh, hey, we all make pretty similar mistakes or even if mistakes are different, we all feel the same about it. We all feel a lot of shame. We carry that shame for years after and so, in a way, for me to write about it was very therapeutic. Again really had to let go of caring about the opinion of others, but for the most part. But really I mean when I, when people are helped by that book, by the, don't just said they're doing nothing, but the things that I get are really powerful, like people feel like, hey, you know, if you're able to share your big mistakes, then maybe mine aren't so bad either.
Speaker 2:Alright team. Let's take a quick break from this episode and I want to share a leadership resource with you, and that is the resiliency based leadership program. Rblp's vision is to create a worldwide community of practice committed to building and leading resilient teams. So why do you need to build and lead a resilient team? Resilient teams are the key to individual and organizational growth, regardless of being in the military or in the civilian workforce. Building collective teams allows for exponential growth and the team's ability to overcome adversity, adapt and, most importantly, grow. And in bottom line, up front, resilient teams are just stronger together. And here's the fact 99% of the people who take that course recommended to others, and I'm one of them. I would just completed my certification and I highly recommend this. And the great news is it's most likely free to you, and if you're in the military, it is 100% free to you. And if you want to learn more, you can look in the show notes for this episode and find the link and use the discount code J-M-C-M-I-L-L-I-O-N, and that is also in the show notes. Back to the episode.
Speaker 2:To me, transparency is a critical attribute that I've always tried to apply, but I think transparency is probably one of the most overused words, especially in leadership. So I like to kind of think of it as leading with Windows. There's always going to be a natural barrier there, because not all the information that you have needs to be shared with people. Sometimes we don't need to share every piece of information, it's true, but we should not have an agenda of when we're kind of going into things. So I like to think of transparency as leading through Windows. There's always a natural barrier there, but it's an open book. You can see everything that I'm doing, so you understand kind of where I'm coming from and that level of vulnerability.
Speaker 2:Jesse, I can already tell you're a phenomenal person and a leader, because that is one of the key attributes of letting go of your ego.
Speaker 2:Confident humility is critical in leadership, especially when you have roles that you have life and limb on the line versus ego. Because if we make decisions based out of our ego, well then they are selfish decisions, but when we can begin to make decisions from confident humility, they're selfless. So I absolutely love that and I love how you wrote that book, really in a way of kind of reflecting on your own journey. But then it goes back to something you talked about is that stories inspire. So you wrote that book. Throughout your journey you turned your purpose into pain and that story really resonated with people and at the end of it you probably grew and you helped shape so many other people's lives. And now we get to where we are right now, where you just wrote the book, unlocking your Inner Zalinsky, kind of shifting to that mindset. When did you realize that I need to write a book on this to kind of pull out those leadership lessons?
Speaker 3:So, interestingly, in Don't Just Sit there, Do Nothing, I had a chapter it was called Use it. It was about the Taoist principle of using whatever life gives you making use of it not wasting anything, and that was basically a chapter about Zalinsky.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 3:Because I had been, as I said, in a movie with him. And for those who don't know, Zalinsky was an actor-comedian who created a show called Servant of the People. In that show, he played just this regular average teacher who ended up becoming president of Ukraine. This was a show.
Speaker 2:That is crazy.
Speaker 3:It is insane. It is insane. It's really one of a kind story. So he created the show. In that show, what he often did through his humor is point at what was wrong in society, what was wrong within his government. Right then his government was really still trying to get itself out from the past.
Speaker 3:And a lot of corruption that was going on, and so he was really good at taking humor and pointing at that through his humor and people really resonated with the message of the show. And that's when he ran for actual Servant of the People, which was what he called his party, and that's when he actually became president. And speaking of criticism, can you imagine the criticism that a comic who had skits where he would like pretend to play the piano with his genitals Like he was a comedian? Can you imagine the criticism that a person like that gets when they turn serious and go into politics? So we really had to learn to shut that out.
Speaker 3:And so, because I had a chapter like this in Don't Just Sit there, do Nothing, when the book came out, the war had just began and everyone wanted to talk about it, like in interviews. People wanted to talk about it. I wanted to talk about it. And then I started watching him ever more closely, like a lot of us were, and I realized there were enough lessons from his own journey, his story His story, by the way, is a big part of this book of unlocking your inner Zolanski, his story of like being this comedian and then the trajectory to where he is now as one of the greatest wartime leaders, and history will.
Speaker 3:I think history will show it more clearly. It's hard to judge when you're in it, but that's when I realized that there was, there were enough lessons. The one book connected to the second book in that way and, by the way, what you had said I thought was so great about humility and letting go of the ego that's a really big lesson that Zolanski exemplifies as well is just really not letting your ego take over, knowing your purpose and feeling empowered because you have to feel confident and empowered, as you said, as a leader, but also, at the same time, balancing that out with humility.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that that is 100% critical and we've talked about a lot of this already kind of through this episode. But if you can share some of the insights from your book that maybe you haven't already shared, what are the top three? The top three takeaways that you would have to apply to modern leadership today, that someone could take right now and just go be the best leader version of themselves or family, the organization, that doesn't matter. What do you think are the top three characteristics? That is from this book in Zolanski.
Speaker 3:So one which we've touched upon, but I'll say it again, is realize the power of the ordinary.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Realize it within yourself, realize that, yes, just an ordinary person can also be a limitless person. It's this limitless mindset. So adapt the mindness, mindset of limitlessness, that you don't need to be anything different than you already are to accomplish ridiculously amazing things that no one yourself, included, things that you can, that you can. That it's a mindset shift.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And that's, I think that's one is realizing it for yourself, and two is also being able to empower that state for other people, like remind other people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I saw, wrote that down. Remember the power of the ordinary, because we all have extraordinary, I think, within us and it always kind of break the word down I think I heard this from John Maxwell is what is the difference between an ordinary and extraordinary leader? Well, it's just extra. It's being able to kind of go that little bit extra, putting a little bit more time into something or developing ourselves just a little bit more, or getting a little bit more sleep. Maybe that's what I should try to do you just got to go early.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And so it's exactly what you said. And if you can also remind other people that we're each the leader of our time, that they too are ordinary and extraordinary, that's a great gift to give others, and you get the best out of people when you empower them.
Speaker 2:So what are some of your favorite quotes from Zelensky, if you know any?
Speaker 3:other top of your head. But I want to add though. So that was one, I'll be really quick. The second would be the humility that we talked about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I totally forgot to ask you that question.
Speaker 3:No, that's okay. I remember this is see my OCD right and I have to. So the humility part of it, the humility of understanding that's. I mean, you know what that's pretty, that's pretty close to the ordinary as well, but the humility of understanding. I am carrying out a mission that's greater than myself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's not about me. I am here, like you know. I like to think of it as like for me as a writer. I like to think of it as channeling wisdom. It's not my wisdom, I don't own the wisdom, Certainly don't own the wisdom of the Dowdy Ching or the wisdom of Zelensky, but I let it run through. So if I take my ego out of the way, you know, the humility part is really important, I think, for everything that you do in life, just remembering that you're, you're a vehicle.
Speaker 2:So I always selfless versus selfish. And I think if we can answer this question, regardless of where we are, is who am I here for? Who am I showing up for? If our mind immediately goes to ourselves, then that's the wrong answer. And I think that that's the separation between a toxic leader and a servant leader. And I use the term interchangeably transformational and servant, because I think servant leaders are transformational, they're change agents, but they also serve other people. And then I use the term transitional and toxic interchangeably, because toxic leaders use people as stepping zones to advance their own career in selfish means. And at the end of the day, if you can answer that question, who am I here for? And it's someone else, then you're on the right path.
Speaker 3:You're absolutely right and funny enough. The third being service leadership. That's a chapter in the book as well. I really believe in service leadership as well. I think that if you remember, if you're and sadly we see this a lot in politics if you are there for some version of your own ego enhancement, we're going to see it. People are really obvious when they're up there in front of the stage of the entire country. We see that. So if you're there, if you remember to switch to a service leadership mindset, what can I do If you're driven by? What can I do for the people I'm here to serve? It's a completely different ballgame and we're really good at reading bullshit.
Speaker 2:So we see it.
Speaker 3:And the reason we all connect to Zelensky so much, the reason like, if you watch him, you see that he's authentic, as you said. You see his heart is in it and he's able to toggle both being a heartful person and being a leader, so being confident and coming from the heart, and we see that. We can read when it's not there and we see it clearly when it is.
Speaker 2:I think one of the superpowers, I think, within humility itself and humanity itself, is being able to see through on authentic people. And it may not be immediate, and I come from the line of that. I've had many great leaders and I've had very poor leaders, and I've had some leaders that say all the right things but they never do the right things. If you're with someone long enough, their true character will show, and if you give someone power long enough, their true character will show. And I think that that is our ability.
Speaker 2:And that's another great example that you just talked about is people are always watching. They're always watching you. You have your critics, like we talked about. You know the man in their arena, and then you have people who actually look to you for inspiration because you are their role model. People are always watching you and you have to be centered, and I think it goes back to all the key topics that we've talked about before. We have to be selfless, we have to let go of our ego. We have to confidently know who we are, show up in this world, so our models or our behavior is modeled through the mirrors of others. That those are some absolutely great wisdom points. All right now to now is your favorite quote.
Speaker 3:No, it's so funny. I just had, like. I wanted to just finish that thought, because an interesting thing that you may have noticed is that all of these things flow into one another 100% because great leadership it's like.
Speaker 3:It's like what I said before, like our struggles may take different shape, but dealing with similar, it's the same with leadership, like it may look different whether you know you're the leader of a military or a country or just a family, but the things that go into it, that flow together well to make a wholesome leader, even for your own life, they're all the same.
Speaker 2:There's two of my favorite quotes, and I think it's really a theme that we've talked about here. So the president can't change the country on his own, but what he can do is he can give an example. So that's number one, like kind of like model of the way. And number two is people don't really believe in words, or rather, people believe in words only for a stretched period of time. Then they start to look for action. So everything that we've talked about deeds, not words. Aligning, creating alignment within our heart, but also being able to model the way and show other people the standard that we expect, regardless of where it is, if in a leadership role or within our family, or even within our community. This is the standard that I expect. So what is yours?
Speaker 3:Yeah and, by the way, I love that first quote too that you can't, obviously no leader can change anything on their own. Nothing is done on your own. Nobody could do anything on their own. That's the thing that you know that we need to remember. I need to remember because, as I said, like writing as a solitary undertaking, but you know what, getting a book out there and spreading the word not solitary so I need you and I need your listeners too. So it's an interesting, it's just a really interesting reminder.
Speaker 3:It's really not about I'm going to take this and I'm going to scale this on my own. It's about realizing the power that you hold in that moment, like somebody likes to hold so much power for his people, and so the reason I think he's been doing such a great job is he always remembers what his role is and is being like the sort of megaphone for the people. So that's a quote I'm going to read right now. But another thing I want to say. There's a really cool chapter. I'm not going to go into it now, but I call it the PR chapter. It's called know your message, know your audience.
Speaker 2:That's great.
Speaker 3:It's really so good at communicating with. It's really a communication chapter, I would say. Also, we all need we all need to improve our communication, whether it's with relationships in our lives or with people who work with and for us. So it's a good chapter of because I think that one of the things about Zelensky is he is a master communicator.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 3:So this quote is actually from a former advisor of his and I share it because I want to remind people even though the book is about Zelensky, it's really about the Ukrainian people as well. So this advisor said his name was Igor Novikov. He said about Zelensky he has a performer's sixth sense of what people want and in a time of crisis, he is a lens that channels the energies of the people into a single beam of light, and to me, that's what a great leader does. It's not about just that, leader. It's about the ability to bring out the best in the people you're leading.
Speaker 2:There's something I learned, and it's kind of similar within that. But the rule of refraction is that oftentimes, as a leader, we always get the light kind of put on us, but great leaders are able to bend the light from us to other people, like giving them credit, giving them praise, because they're the ones that actually make it. The other thing there, too, is taking all the resources that we have collectively as a team and then working towards a common goal or a vision and channeling that into a beam of light which really gets into that quote. I love that. So how can people find this book? What's the easiest way?
Speaker 3:Okay, so unlocking your inner Zelensky. I think it's an easy title to remember, so I can probably stop repeating it.
Speaker 3:So it's really sold wherever you find your books. So, whether it's Amazon or Bookshop for indie bookstores or Barnes Noble or your local bookstore, to everywhere books are sold, and I should mention that it's available in three formats. One is the actual book, a physical copy of the book. Then there's a digital copy for those of us who are Kindle people. We don't want to keep filling our house with books. If I didn't use Kindle, I would be in trouble. I wouldn't have space left.
Speaker 2:I'm already in trouble and my wife is mad at me.
Speaker 3:I do both. I do both. I can't do just one as much as an author. Obviously I love physical books, but I read a lot and I just can't do. It's really important for me to have some digitally and then also it's available as an audiobook. I also think some personal development books are great on audio. So, interestingly enough, it's read by this wonderful voice actress of Ukrainian heritage. We had such a synchronicity. I thought it was so funny. She reached out to me after she recorded the book. Her now husband was a cinematographer in that very movie where I had crossed paths with Zelensky.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow so it all comes together. I think everything. There's always threads throughout our lives. I think Tony Robinson had a famous quote that's very sticky is that success leaves bread crumbs. But I also think that there's threads within our lives is that we're all connected. There's always a connection. We just have to find it and then, when we do, we can grow.
Speaker 1:It's time for our final show segment that I like to call the Killer Bees. These are the same four questions that ask every guest on the Tales of Leadership podcast Be brief, be brilliant, be present and be gone.
Speaker 2:Question one what do you believe separates a good leader from a extraordinary leader?
Speaker 3:The ability to forget about yourself. I love it To become one with what you're here to do.
Speaker 2:So question two what is one resource and I think I know what you're going to say what is one resource that you can recommend to our listeners to kind of grow on their leadership?
Speaker 3:Oh, am I going to say I'm locking your inner Zelensky? You know what I would. This is so true. Yes, yes, I'm locking your Zelensky, please. By the way, I'm donating some of the proceeds to help rebuild Ukraine, to rebuilding efforts there. So, yes, please do get a copy. But also, honestly, stillness, making room for just a few moments of stillness to reconnect with your center.
Speaker 2:Yeah, silence is powerful, and as the older I get, the more I relish of just being able to have some silence. So question three if you can give your younger self a piece of advice, go back in time. What would it be and why?
Speaker 3:Believe more in yourself and listen more to your inner voice and shut out that external noise. All right last one, for all the reasons we talked about, because the external noise is not always to your benefit. Usually it's not.
Speaker 2:Well, I think that's a power about this podcast in general is that we kind of go through like your whole story to where you're at right now and your journey, and it's incredible. You truly have an incredible story. But the last one that I would love to get to is how can our listeners find you and how can they add value to your mission?
Speaker 3:So I'm at jessicancercom J-E-S-S-I-E-K-A-N-Z-E-R that's my website, and it's also at jessicancer for Instagram, at dailydow, for TikTok, but all of that is linked on my website. You can find links to both books, to Unlocking you and your inner Zolensky and Don't Just Said there, do Nothing or the information, like my story, the video essay that you found. So everything lives on my website, but you can bring value to my mission by honestly getting yourself a copy, in whatever format, of Unlocking you and your inner Zolensky. Right now, I think that this book and what I'm trying to do with it is bigger than myself, and so I have future goals. I do. I have other books I want to write, but right now that's where what my focus is on.
Speaker 2:Jesse, this has been a phenomenal episode and I'm not joking that I think I have like six pages of notes of why we're going through here. Because I love it. I love bringing people on who have different perspectives outside of leadership that I just don't see, because you cover my blind spots and my dead space and you help me grow. So thank you for adding value to me and selfishly, I love interviewing people when it comes to leadership because it helps me continue to grow on my journey. But this has been a phenomenal episode with a lot of great wisdom points. All right, team, that was a great episode with Jesse, but now it's time for our after action review. What are the top three takeaways you should have from this episode? And I had a lot and I wasn't lying when I said that took like over four or five pages of notes and there are just so many. So again and I don't promote and I don't have a lot of sponsors and she is not a sponsor but I highly recommend go getting and reading this book because Zelensky's story is powerful and there's modern day wisdom in that book that can help you grow on your leadership journey. And again, at the end of the day, leadership is not a destination, it is a journey, and it's getting as much wisdom as possible to shorten our learning curve is critical. So the first key takeaway that I wrote down was in the darkest of times, no matter where you are, there is always light, and kind of going back to Matthew, chapter 14, that you are the light on the hill. It's true, leadership is to inspire. And what is inspiration? I think of it metaphorically as a candle in a dark room. One of the reasons that I love Christmas so much and I'm going to go on a rant here, so just go with me is the light that a Christmas tree brings into the darkest of rooms. It doesn't matter how dark a room is. That light from the Christmas tree just brings warmth and growth and it inspires inspires you to be a better person, it fills you up and it fills your heart up. So that is exactly what it means to be authentic and create alignment, so people will know if you're not being authentic. You have to be able to live into your core values, because that is what brings light into this world Make decisions based on who you are and who you want to show up with, and then also have alignment between those values. Create alignment between your head and your heart, because then you can show up authentically. So remember that to be the light in this world. That takes authenticity and alignment.
Speaker 2:The second key takeaway that I have from this one is remember the power of the ordinary and she talked about that and remember the definition that I have. What is the difference between ordinary and extraordinary? It's going that little bit of extra. That is all that it takes and at the end of the day, we have to remember this. It doesn't matter where you come from, it doesn't matter what your background is.
Speaker 2:We all have the innate ability to be extraordinary, but we have to take time and be intentional to grow. So cut out those things in your life that aren't serving you. Say no to things that will not grow you and say yes to the things that will. So if you want to be extraordinary for me, I want to grow and I want to be the best leader that I possibly can. I want to be an extraordinary leader, not for selfish reasons, but to impact and change lives Then I have to say no. But just because you're an ordinary person. I'm an ordinary person If you look on my social media feeds and all of those things.
Speaker 2:I am just an active duty Army officer who has a passion and a purpose and a why that is so big that it demands a response and that's why I do this podcast. I don't do it for money. I do it because I'm trying to grow my leadership skills and traits out into this world to make it a better place and go into the first one that we talked about just being light. I want to be a light. I want to be a beacon of hope for other people, to show them that you can care about people and still be highly successful. You can do it and you can also have a passion outside of whatever you're in. I am an active duty Army officer and I work in a special operations command right now SOCOM. It is highly, highly demanding of my time, but I find a way and I don't sacrifice my job performance.
Speaker 2:And the third key takeaway and bear with me because I'm going to attempt to read this quote by Theodore Roosevelt. But it's all centered around the man in the arena. It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds can have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust, sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes up short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasm, great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who, at the best, knows at the end the triumph of high achievement and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. That is such a powerful quote and every time that I read it I almost get emotional because it brings me back into some of my deepest failures. So remember that that stories inspire, go out and rumble in this world, and when you do, you're going to have criticism. You're going to have people who try to put you down, to prevent you from growing, but know that they do that because you are making a difference and they're scared of your growth.
Speaker 2:Hey, team, do me a favor. If you like what you heard, if you've listened to other podcasts, help me extend my message and grow it. Go, share my podcast with someone who is a leader in their own right, a family and their community and their organization, or of themselves. And again, I always talk about leadership starts with ourselves. So share my podcast and help me get my message out.
Speaker 2:Number two give me a review. On whatever platform you're listening, give me a five-star review. It will help out tremendously with people finding this and then go support the podcast. You can go to tells of the leaders, slip forward, slash bus sprout or go to McMillian leadership coachingcom and you can look at all the different leadership resources that I have. I write a blog monthly and my goal is to give you as much tools as possible to go out and take purposeful action so you can become a purposeful and countable leader. And go follow me on LinkedIn, facebook or Instagram and then you can also join our private community that I'm trying to grow purposeful, accountable leaders on Facebook. But, as always, team, I'm your host, josh McMillian, saying every day is a gift. Don't waste yours. I'll see you next time.