Ep 73 Cheryl Lawson-Wright

Cheryl Lawson-Wright, a devoted community volunteer, educator, and mentor, is deeply committed to guiding youth and young adults through high school completion and college admissions while also supporting the underprivileged, disabled, and trauma survivors. A fierce advocate for equality and justice, she champions a toxic-free life encompassing mind, body, and spirit. As a 12-year breast cancer survivor, Cheryl actively participates in the Jacksonville Mammoglams Dragon Boat Team, connecting with survivors worldwide to compete for the cause while promoting fitness. She passionately comforts cancer survivors and serves the elderly, youth, and vulnerable individuals, embodying a voice for the voiceless. Co-founder of Partners in Education, founder of Real Hope4Help, Inc., and a certified Mental Health and Wellness Advocate, Cheryl shines in modeling engagements and writing, reflected in magazines, websites, and social media. Her radiant presence is described as witnessing light in motion and knowing she is experiencing the presence of God and Spirit in action. Cheryl's infectious zest for life inspires others to be their best selves, showcased in her newly published book "Jewels of My Journey," where she creatively overcomes obstacles and thrives confidently and peacefully. She generously shares her uplifting and thought-provoking words, empowering others to embrace the impact of their own writing.

Connect with Cheryl Lawson-Wright:
-Website: Realhope4help.com
-Facebook: Real Hope 4Help and Cheryl Lawson-Wright
-Instagram:  @Realhope4Help
-Twitter: @Realhope4Help
-LinkedIn: Real Hope 4Help

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My Mission: I will end toxic leadership practices by equipping leaders with transformational leadership skills. 

Together, we will impact 1 MILLION lives!!!

Every day is a gift, don't waste yours!
Joshua K. McMillion | Founder MLC

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

You're listening to the Tells the Leadership podcast. This podcast is for leaders at any phase on their leadership journey to become a more purposeful and accountable leader what I like to call a pal. Join me on our journey together towards transformational leadership. Welcome back to Tells the Leadership. I am your host, josh McMillian, an active duty Army officer and the founder of McMillian Leadership Coaching, and I am on a mission to create a better leader what I like to call a purposeful, accountable leader or a pal and my vision is to end toxic transitional leadership by promoting transformational stories and skills. And I have the honor to introduce you to a leader that I've known for a long time Cheryl Lawson Wright.

Speaker 1: 0:48

Cheryl is a dedicated community volunteer, educator and mentor and is committed to equity, fairness and justice and promotes a toxic free lifestyle encompassing both mind, body and spirit alignment. She is also a 12 year breast cancer survivor. Her passion lies in comforting cancer survivors and serving those within our community that are the most vulnerable. She's also the co-founder and established real hope for help, incorporated and champions mental health and wellness. With her recent book that she just wrote, jules of my Journey, cheryl showcases her creativity and inspiration as a writer utilizing the power of words to overcome obstacles and thrive confidently and peacefully. I'm really excited for this episode. Let's go ahead and bring her on. Cheryl is a purposeful, accountable leader. Cheryl, welcome to the Tells the Leadership podcast. How are you doing?

Speaker 2: 1:50

I'm doing great. How are you doing today, Josh?

Speaker 1: 1:53

I can't complain. Today has been a blessing. This is my second podcast episode, so I get to do one of the things that I'm passionate about talk about leadership and also get to reconnect with someone that I haven't got a chance to talk to for a very, very, very long time. Most of the people that I have on this show really don't have any type of connection to preexisting, to interviewing, but with you I feel like I know you because I've got to hear your story and the leader that you are, and I'm excited to bring that and illuminate that to the world.

Speaker 2: 2:31

Thank you for this opportunity to be here. It feels like I know you well too, like we're family.

Speaker 1: 2:38

Yeah, yeah. So I think a great place to start and I always start off in the same is just provide an overview to our listeners. Who is Cheryl?

Speaker 2: 2:48

Okay, cheryl is a thriver who has overcome many traumas in life, starting as a little girl, and I now know God didn't cause those things to happen, but he didn't allow me to endure those things. So I can now help teach and encourage and inspire and help others understand that, although you may go through hardships in life, although you may experience trauma in life, but that does not define who you are and it does not stop you from becoming great and doing great things. So I've taken that trauma childhood trauma and I've allowed it to help me encourage others to be great and to overcome those things in life.

Speaker 1: 3:47

I have to find that quote and I don't know where it is. I think it's second Corinthians. I was trying to look it up. But God will not give you more than you cannot handle or bear. Don't hold me to it.

Speaker 1: 4:04

That basically sums all of that up, and I think that really is defined within the stories that you've had to go through. But I would love, before we get started, and I'd love, being able to ask this question to everyone from different backgrounds how do you define leadership and how has that changed as you matured over the years?

Speaker 2: 4:25

I define leadership and then it's kind of I've evolved and I've been able to perfect what I've always considered a leader. And it's ironic, it's kind of strange. Even as a child I considered and thought a leader should be someone that served others, not to be served, although we've experienced and seen throughout life that so many leaders look to be served. So I believe in leader. Being a great leader is knowing how to serve others. That if you can't put the needs of others before yours, then I think you struggle at being a great leader, a real leader. So being a leader is being a servant.

Speaker 1: 5:17

I love that definition and I always break it. I call it TNT. I think you know me at this point. I'm a wizard creating acronyms for about everything but a toxic leader versus a transformational leader.

Speaker 1: 5:33

Toxic leaders have them at the agenda, they are the agenda. How can individuals on my team serve me, advance me so I can move to that next level? Versus transformational leaders. Have that servant heart and they always ask the question first is how can I serve other people or how can I add value to other people? And I could not agree more with you.

Speaker 2: 5:58

One thing that I also have. I believe leadership is about being more. I have this presentation that I do that's named, entitled the Lost Art of Relationships it speaks about. It teaches about learning to be more relational, opposed to transactional. So in being relational, you're going to look to know those individuals that you're leading. You're going to see who they are, what their needs are and find their, not just focus on their weaknesses and criticize those. You already know their strengths, but when you see those weaknesses that they may have, then you're going to figure out how to transform those weakness, help them transform those weaknesses to become a strength. So you can't do that if you just have that person on agenda, where you're just looking to get to the end result and make things happen. You have to be relational, establish that relationship, opposed to just making that transaction.

Speaker 1: 7:11

Yeah, I think, relationships within the realm of leadership. It doesn't matter what career field that you're in. That is one of the hardest things I think to develop. But the most critical aspect of leadership and I see leadership in six distinct phases, but the decisive point that determines if a leader is successful or not is phase three strengthening relationships. If you can strengthen relationships then you can forge tight emotional bonds. But the glue of that is building trust. Trust is required when you go through challenging times. You have to believe that the men and women to your left and to your right are going to make the right decisions at the right time, in the right frame of mind when it matters. And if you don't have that trust then you can't work for someone, and I think it's true regardless of military or civilian leadership.

Speaker 2: 8:11

That's right.

Speaker 1: 8:12

How would you provide? I know that's an area that you focus on relational versus transactional but what are some tips that you could give people that are in leadership roles right now to try to be more relational?

Speaker 2: 8:27

To spend time, to take time, to have conversations, I mean, instead of coming and starting that day off. When you walk into the office or walk on, know you're a military, walk on the field or wherever you are. You know, of course, if there's war you can't do that. But before you get to that point to just have those few minutes to connect, so connecting with the individuals you know, ask about the family, you know, ask how was your morning, how was your weekend, how was your evening? I mean just little simple things and then just do things to show that you are concerned about the individual. And that's how you connect with people. You don't just see them in that position, you have to see the individual.

Speaker 2: 9:24

I don't know if you recall that I'm also an educator. I'm not, you know, actively teaching in the classroom now, but I believe once an educator, always an educator, because there's always teaching points in life. But when I was in the classroom I would stand at that door every morning and greet my students as they entered and based on the energy that entered that classroom, because I had established those relationships, I got to know them, I was like that mother there in the classroom, but based on the energy that entered that classroom determine how I started that day. I may have had an intended outcome you know a lesson plan but if the right energy did not enter that room, if I felt that you know something, that they were carrying, something that was going to interfere with that lesson you know me connecting with them with that lesson then we didn't start that lesson. We may have had a life lesson.

Speaker 2: 10:33

I yeah, I always had, you know, a journaling. I'm a big believer in journaling, writing out your thoughts. So, based on what they wrote on that paper, I would, you know, give up maybe a five, ten minutes for them to just write their thoughts down, what they're going through and based on and they would have to bring it up to me and based on what was written on that paper, would determine how I decided to interact with them. And the most important thing to me was to make that connection, to show them that they were, that they're important. So, although we may not see ourselves outside of the classroom in the different positions, professional positions that we're in, but you're always a teacher as a leader, you have to be a teacher. But not only do you have to be a teacher, you have to learn to be a student, and that's something that I would train teachers.

Speaker 2: 11:30

You can't teach until the student shows up. So that means you have to be willing to learn from those individuals that's in front of you, be it students, be it your employees, before you can teach them. So the student has to always be present. You have to always be a learner in order to be a great leader.

Speaker 1: 11:52

I love that. There's a saying that I've developed kind of over the years. I don't know who I heard it from, but in order to be a great leader, you have to learn to be a great follower first, correct.

Speaker 1: 12:04

And that starts from that and you have to be okay with whatever environment that you're in. Maybe you have to be the shepherd for individuals and kind of help them through life problems. And I love how you talk about kind of setting the condition of every morning you have a different feel for individuals on your team and then you pursue. Yeah, you had an agenda but we trained a standard, not the time. Just because I said I was going to do something, today, maybe something else is being drawn my attention and we have to kind of go through that.

Speaker 1: 12:36

And it's funny you said in the military, like walking on the parade field, and at first thing that popped to my mind is reading the autobiography, I believe, of a General, douglas MacArthur, when I was going through that award through the military and some of he was one of the most charismatic leaders. People just absolutely loved him. But why? He would be willing to put himself in hardens way to kind of build those authentic relationships with soldiers. And I remember in World War II they just landed on some island that was occupied by Japan and there was sniper fire. This five star general which has only happened in a handful of times gets off a boat and walks on the on this beach, getting his feet wet, all that stuff, and goes around and starts talking to soldiers that are returning fire right now, and that's all you need to know about why he was able to build those types of relationships of where millions of people would follow him because of who he was and how much he genuinely cared for people.

Speaker 2: 13:45

That's right. And then one thing, another thought just came to mind that I also would do, and especially as a leader, not just an educator in the classroom but supervising, you know, 20, 30, 50 plus people. I had to recognize that no one is a carbon copy, that I cannot approach everyone in the same manner. So I learned to and I don't like using the word categorize, but that was what I had to do I learned the individuals on my team and then I had different categories that they were placed in. That determined how I would approach them. I had those individuals that I was saying no maintenance. Where they came in, they had that. They saw the big picture, they understood we connected right away, we were like-minded. So their minimum to nothing Once they got their task. You know, I still would create that relationship so they could see I didn't want to take anyone for granted but I didn't have to put much energy into leading and guiding them. So they were my no maintenance individuals. Then I had that low maintenance where, you know, I had to do a little more stroking, I had to spend a little more time, give a little more attention. And then there were those high maintenance individuals where, yeah, the energy. It was just redirecting, you know, constant correcting, not correcting, constant connections until you know sometimes, okay, they would get it and they would have a great day, but then I had to come back the next day and then start all over again. And then there were those individuals who brought something to the table. They were great team members, but still they were just off the chart. You had to. But I recognize that there's a purpose for everyone. Just because I had to do it every day, like hold their hand, didn't mean that they deserve to be terminated.

Speaker 2: 15:50

There were times where I had to, you know, move them around or give a different assignment. For example, I hired a young lady when I was a director, slash principal at a private school. She was hired as my van driver for my severely emotional-disturbed students, but she was just too passive, too sweet. You know that sweet personality and those students of that that with that type of behavior, they needed some sternness. And the person that was in my front office as the receptionist, oh my God, she was just rough, you know, just too rough, didn't have? You know, sometimes scare parents off-scare. So I'm like I need her on that van and I can use that. And so I changed their roles. I brought the van driver, she became my receptionist and the receptionist became the van driver for those students. So, although they were high maintenance in the positions that they were in, I recognized what seemed to be a weakness on that van. That was a strength for my front office. So that was what I meant by seeing that, you know, a seemingly weakness can be a strength in another area.

Speaker 1: 17:07

She reminded me of a pretty for me horrible memory that I had of kind of going through a squad live fire for a binning. It was horrible just because of the time of the year it was August and Georgia, for more now, used to be for a binning, so it was just super, super hot.

Speaker 1: 17:26

I think it was 110 degrees and we just got done doing several live fire iterations and each one we never fully completed it successfully, so we had to keep getting we call it re-cocked going back and doing it again, and doing it again, and doing it again, and it got to the point of where, you know, I thought I was failing as the leader because I was a squad leader and we had to stay overnight. The other platoon, every other squad was complete. They were going home, getting asleep in their beds, except us. And I'm sitting there that night and I'll never forget my squad leader if he ever listens to this Sergeant, first Class Cabioff. He pulled me aside.

Speaker 1: 18:04

He's like "'Josh, you have all the right tools "'but are the people in those positions, "'the right people underneath you to be successful' "'And it never dawned on me "'All I needed to do is maybe move some people "'around within my squad to be better' "'And I did that the next day, flew right through "'And everyone was like, hey, this was one "'of the better live fires "'And you could always chalk it up, yeah, "'we did it several more times than everyone "'But really, what it was was moving people "'who weren't necessarily strong in those positions "'and shuffling them around to people "'who we thought could be successful "'And we just got exponential results much, much faster "'But I would love to kind of turn it over "'to where did your leadership journey start''?

Speaker 2: 18:56

To tell you the truth, I did not recognize the leader in me. It was others that recognized the leadership abilities in me. I left the public school system due to I have a passion for teaching and believing that everyone can learn. I don't believe that individuals can't learn. So I clashed with the public school system. So I walked away from there and ended up in the private sector and I started as a teacher and within a month's time, I had the principal slash director at that time coming into my classroom and when I saw that I was getting upset, okay, well, why are you in my classroom? I'm not sending students out, I'm teaching my students. Any behavior students, you don't have to deal with them. I'm doing what you hired me to do. And he showed up again the next day and then the third time. And that third time he showed up in my classroom. He asked me to come by his office and, long story short, he was offering me to go to another campus as acting director because they were having to release the current director. And I'm like I don't have any leadership abilities. He was like no, I've watched you and you have what it takes. You can do it. So that was one instance there, and I can tell several other stories where I was pulled.

Speaker 2: 20:28

I was hired for one thing but then I was pulled to be in another area.

Speaker 2: 20:33

I worked in admissions at Florida Atlantic University here in Florida and Boca there, within a couple of months, was pulled into a totally different area in that admissions office because of something that individuals saw in me.

Speaker 2: 20:51

So I was really taken out of my element, taken out of my comfort zone, because I've never cared to be a leader, I never cared to be out front. Just give me that position in the background, give me my babies or give me something that I can do where there's no attention, no one is interrupting me, and allow me to work my magic. And that was something that I always just preferred to do. But others saw those leadership abilities in me. So after that I recognized OK, I do have something and I can't do that. So that just inspired me even more to teach and to encourage and coach and mentor others, to let them see that you're capable, that sometimes you may not recognize your greatness, but others can see it. So go ahead and be willing to step outside of the box, to walk outside of your comfort zone and push yourself to the max.

Speaker 1: 21:55

All right, team, let's take a quick break from this podcast and I want to personally invite you to our private Facebook community that I call Purposeful Accountable Leaders, or PALS, and PALS is a community dedicated to inspiring and developing servant leaders by sharing transformational stories and skills exactly what tells the leadership is all about. My goal is to build a community of like-minded leaders that can share lessons, learn, ask questions and celebrate wins when it happens. And my mission in life is clear I will end toxic leadership by sharing transformational stories and skills, and you will find countless transformational leaders in this group, many of them I have had the honor to serve with in the military. If you want to find a community that can help you grow both personally and professionally, we would love to have you. You can simply search Purposeful Accountable Leaders on Facebook or click the Leadership Resources tab in the show notes to join. I am looking forward to seeing you guys and continuing to grow together on our leadership journey.

Speaker 1: 22:57

Back to the podcast. Great leaders have the ability to find other great leaders and I always talk about the ability to to stretch is that someone is going to give you same same as the quote you know from the Bible that we just spoke about from Corinthians is that great leaders give subordinate leaders the ability to go beyond their comfort zone, stretch their abilities, but they make sure that they don't have enough to where they're going to fail and.

Speaker 1: 23:29

I think in doing that, you continue to grow, and that is exactly why you were chosen for those positions, because, how you just defined it, I didn't want to be in front, I didn't want to have the spotlight. You have that servant heart and they saw that, and that's exactly who needs to be in those leadership positions. From my experience, those are the best leaders because they don't have an agenda. That is me, me, me, me, it's you, you, you, you. We're going back to the thing that we started about at the beginning is how can I add value to the team and how can I add value to you?

Speaker 1: 24:04

He talked about another thing that I love, and I have a rule. It's called the rule of refraction. Great leaders have the ability to bend light off of them back to their team and the ones who actually do the work, and there's a. There's a time where we have to stand in front, but that's far and few between. That's only in those truly decisive moments where you know life or death or big ticket items every other time, that your team should be in front of you and you should be bending the light on them.

Speaker 2: 24:34

Give the credit and so often they're called. Because I can think back when I was a college student and it was during the time when you and CF would do the telephones and I was over a team of workers and this important person you know said to me Cheryl, you know, I want you to make sure you don't come up with some idea that how we can, you know, honor the little people. This time I want the little people to be recognized, and before I knew it and that's one thing I've always been out, not always, but once I, you know, got to a certain degree, I became very outspoken. So I'm like, excuse me, I think who you're calling the little people are really the big people, the important people, because if it were not for those individuals, none of you would be where you are and you wouldn't be able to stand out on that stage and do what you're doing. So they are really the big people.

Speaker 2: 25:34

Look at me like so. And that's where we have to recognize we could not be as leaders if it were not for our team members, because we can't do it, we can't do it by ourselves, and I have this saying we're. I'd say that no one has it all together, but together we can't have it all. So although I stand out front and have the title as a leader, I can't be successful without that team doing their part. So I have to recognize that and shine the light on them to help them to be great and even become greater. And it doesn't matter if they supersede me. I think who was.

Speaker 2: 26:17

It was a Henry Ford, that where he knew I mean it was his team, he had the money to do, but he knew to surround himself with great individuals to an in order to build the, the, the masterpiece, to build the, the, the greatness and the wealth that he did with all of his creations, because he recognized he needed great people and he needed to shine and invest in them in order to be successful. And that's what we have to recognize as the leaders. You know, we're not that, we're not the great ones, we're just those, those servants helping others be great in order for us to get the credit, because in the end, we're the ones that get all the accolades, the critics.

Speaker 1: 27:05

So it's up important that we give it, play it forward to those individuals that made us great that was something that I've always kind of went through in life and that that's a very powerful point is build other leaders so well in your organization that you're no longer required because that's what great organizations and teams can do is they have the ability to develop junior leaders within their organization, because that is the only way to grow sustainably, and if you can do that, then it goes back to what we talked about before of building deep levels of trust, having transparency, being able to have be a thriving organization, and I love that. No one has it all together, but together, we can have that that kind of knowing you, knowing your story.

Speaker 1: 28:00

I think you're 12 years, cancer or free well, we have all. The 16th would be 13 years going from that, because I can only imagine how tough that was. But how did that change you and the person that you are today?

Speaker 2: 28:15

that has that mindset of thriving not surviving but thriving thriving and one of the things that, if there were many different lessons going through that journey, but one of the most important things I think that it helped me to do and I sold that into those individuals that I'm leading to help them, and that is self-love and self-care. So I wasn't recognizing that I was just constantly, 24-7, just constantly going, constantly doing, and I was failing to put in that person of care. You know, although I may have been doing great things and other individuals saw, you know, that greatness in me, but eventually I was going to wear out because I wasn't refueling, I wasn't taking that time to to, you know, re, re, regroup, to refresh, to relax. I wasn't taking that person of Sabbath.

Speaker 2: 29:22

So cancer it was almost like and I look at it and I think I shared this when we first met on one of the shows that we were on, is that that, that Mary and that Martha, when they were sitting there, you know, with Jesus, and Martha was complaining about Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus, feeling that she was doing nothing. You know, she's busy cooking. She's busy, martha, you know, clean and cooking, just constantly moving around, and Mary was there sitting at the feet of Jesus, but Martha failed to recognize Mary was doing something very important because by sitting there in that quiet place sitting there, I can say, receiving more. We can look at it as knowledge, meditating, relaxing, refreshing the mind, gaining more insight. That was equipping her to be a better Mary.

Speaker 2: 30:22

And Martha was just busy worrying about the wrong stuff and just trying to do Russian, do everything to where, if she would have taken the time to be quiet, to be still, then she would have recognized what Mary was doing was very important and she needed to do the same. So going through that cancer journey, it taught me the importance of being quiet, being still, being able to take that break, being able to also help and recognize that my team members also needed that person of care time. So I had to recognize that if I could not leave my position, leave that job, leave that business for a day, a week or even a month, that mean that I have failed as a leader yep that you have.

Speaker 2: 31:20

You should have been such a great leader with building your team that you could walk away and not be concerned and know that that job is was still going to be done, that the task with the each task was going to be completed. So that helped me recognize that you know I couldn't do it all, that I needed to take that time to, to met me time and if there was a issue with me taking me time, that mean that I needed to reevaluate myself as a leader so I was gonna say boom, episode.

Speaker 1: 31:57

Over there there's a quote I love, aristotle. But knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom yes, and kind of going through that cancer experience which is, I would say, probably scary and deeply humbling at the same time yeah but really it prioritizes you. It's like being at war and being shot at for the first time. It it centers you to what's truly important in life all these other distractions that we have that we thought were important that seems to just fade away and we've become tunnel-visioned on.

Speaker 1: 32:34

It's like when every say that my life flashed before my eyes.

Speaker 1: 32:39

It's not the car that you had or the house that you had or the food that you ate. It's the memories that you had with the people that you love most, the things that you've created with the memories of the ones that you love. And I think it there's a an acronym that I've kind of set up. It goes around the whole concept of a short halt in the military, because everything I see through leadership is through the military. But it's stop, stop, take a tactical pause, observe your surroundings and then pursue with purpose.

Speaker 1: 33:12

And I think too often in today's society people want to just keep going and keep going and keep going and keep going, and they don't take that time to journal, have self-reflection, and then it just leads to burnout. You'll wonder why the the quiet quitting is happening. The quiet quitting is happening is because no one's taking the time to make sure that the team is being looked after. The leaders are just going and going and going in this like hustle culture and really it leads it just leads to burnout. And I love how you had the awareness too is that it's not just me as a leader that needs time off, it is the team that needs time off too. And then you just hit the nail on the head with if I do, I have the confidence ask this question to any leader who's listening. Do I have the confidence to step away from my team right now and know that the mission is still going to be achieved? And if the answers no, then you have a lot of serious thinking.

Speaker 2: 34:13

I think that you have to reflect on that's right, and so, through that journey, one of the I have acronyms also and one of the initiatives that I do through real hope for help is teaching individuals to always fly.

Speaker 2: 34:30

I was gonna ask you that, yeah, that fly is to first love yourself. And you know, and I had to recognize with that, you can't how can you give out and pour out that which you don't already have within? So we truly can't love other individuals, we truly can't appreciate other individuals, unless we first start with self. So you know, I had to make sure that I was focusing on that self love and showing that love for myself in order for it to pour out. Because if I love myself, then I'm gonna recognize, just like the important things for me, that there are those important things for the other individuals too. So you have to. It all starts at home. We have to look within and make sure that you know everything that we know that we desire and that we want in life. Then we have to make sure that those other individuals are getting it and they want it too. I mean that they're getting that recognize that they need, have those same needs you know, and desires also. But it's hard for a person to do that if they're liking that love, if they're liking that self care.

Speaker 2: 35:54

Again, going back to the classroom, I had one of my teachers to tell me she wish she could be like me. I understand how you do so well with the students and with the employees, because you have a genuine love for all people. And I looked at her. I said, wow, now I understand your problem and why you're having the issue in the classroom with your students. Because if you don't understand why I can genuinely love people and if that's something that you're not doing, then you're in the wrong place. You know you shouldn't be in the classroom. And she looked like, say, I don't mean to be harsh, but you can't. You know those individuals.

Speaker 2: 36:37

Before you can teach them, they have to know you care yeah so if you don't have a genuine care, love or whatever word you want to use, then then you've taken up the wrong position. You know you don't need to be there, because that's something that you have to.

Speaker 1: 36:53

You have to love, and you have to love yourself first and appreciate yourself first in order for that to exude out to others it's so true, and I think Brianna Greenspan, she always talks about filling up your cup before you can fill up others cup, and I like to think of it as a battery. We are a battery and how do?

Speaker 1: 37:16

we charge our batteries, we charge ourselves, and then we go throughout the world throughout the day and we add energy to our teams, we add energy to our family, we add energy to the organization, but at the end of the day we're still depleted and we can't go back and provide that same amount of effort if we have not recharged our batteries. So you have to. You have to find what recharge your batteries. I think I know something of yours and it's called dragon boating and I need to know what that is again what dragon boating is.

Speaker 2: 37:51

It is a sport that a Canadian doctor can't recall his name right now, but but individuals who have gone through cancer, if you are aware a lot of. There's a lot of probing and and and intrusion upon your upper body muscles when you know, even if you have just some tumors removed and many of us have, you know, one breast or have a double mastectomy, like I did due to my family history, but dragon boating is a safe sport. It was discovered that that's one of the safest sports, if not the only safe sports that survivors and I like thrivers, cancer thrivers, breast cancer thrivers can do with learning the proper techniques to rebuild their upper body strength and really, if you get in that boat, which is an oversized canoe, it really strengthens you. It's a full-body workout because what we do in my team here in Jacksonville is the MAMA GLAMS, which took away the gram to maybe you know glam. We are glamors.

Speaker 2: 39:03

So the MAMA GLAMS, we are a team of 20 plus courageous women, a couple of men, more than 20, but it's 20 in a boat and they're left-hand paddlers and then they're right-hand paddlers and we are there working in sync together and that's another way that team work. We have to work on one accord. One person can't outdo the other. We have to trust that individual behind us, in front of us and on the side of us. And we're out there. We are paddling for our life. We're competing against other courageous survivors out there some calm waters, rough waters, and our saying with that is that we won the battle, now let's paddle. I was so glad.

Speaker 2: 39:52

So we are out there and we couldn't compete all over the world I wasn't able to make it this year, but they just came, went to April, they went to New Zealand and we do every four years, just like the Olympics, where now another country countries are gonna be bidding and submitting their proposal in the next four years to host our next four year competition. Four years before this 2018, it was in, but COVID messed up the dates. But in 2018 it was in Florence, italy, and I was fortunate enough to travel with the team to Florence, italy. So again, there were over 4,000 women, each country was represented and we, for four days, we were out there in the water and we were cheering each other on.

Speaker 2: 40:46

I mean, it is just, it is amazing to witness, and there are even some women who are out there in those boats that are still battling cancer, but that keeps them, that gives them hope to be out there with other sisters. So that is and I never really thought about it teamwork. There was no way we could be successful if we were not willing to work as a team and recognize that no one has it all together, but together in that boat, working on one accord, you know, on stride and coordinating with each other. You know we couldn't outshine each other, so we had to do it together in order to win. So it's a beautiful thing.

Speaker 1: 41:35

I love that metaphor of rowing because it's so true. If you have someone who, if you have a Josh on your boat, that just goes after it. Because I remember, like young Josh, if you would put me in a boat with 20 other people, I would have like, hey, I'm gonna show everyone up. I'm gonna show as far as I can and we're just gonna do circles and you're not gonna go anywhere.

Speaker 2: 41:59

And not recognize, you're not gonna get anywhere. You're not going anywhere. You know because you're gonna be, you know, fighting against just you and that water, beating that water, because if you're not paling in sync together, then we're not gonna go anywhere.

Speaker 1: 42:13

I love that. That is probably one of the best metaphors in leadership because there's so many different lessons to pull from. But I think at the end of the day, teamwork if, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whatever problem you have, you can't do it alone. You have to have a team. So find the right team and learn how to row and get on sync with everyone. I gotta ask what drove you to leave your career and work for a nonprofit and kinda get into that mental health and that wellness space.

Speaker 2: 42:44

It's because I recognize that in the education arena that they were just focused. They had that one agenda, that is to there's a lesson plan, their standards, their different standardized tests. They were just driving, pushing that agenda. Pushing that agenda, you know, have the students in school the first. If the students were in school those first 10 to 12 days so they could get the FTE, the full-time enrollment count. That mean those schools got their money from the state, from the government, and then they didn't care whether or not those students actually learned, whether or not they were in the classroom, as long as we kept them in the classroom for those days each semester so they could get that paid, get that check. And it wasn't about educating students, it wasn't about teaching and developing the whole person. So I could no longer. The paycheck wasn't important to me to where I saw my sons, I saw my grandson and I know what my demands were for them and are for them. So whatever demands I had for my sons and my grandson now from those educators, I put out the same thing and gave the same thing that I expected for my children. But I was hindered because there were oftentimes when I pushed for my students it went against the rules and regulations that the schools and the principal of the administration had in place, I could not truly be a teacher. I could not truly be an educator and stand firm to what my core beliefs were and stay in that classroom. So, with leaving, walking away from the job, not allowing myself to be driven by that paycheck, and walking out on faith and establishing my organization, real Hope for Help has given me the opportunity to go back into those schools and do it my way so I could truly make sure that and I know that they still have to have the right mindset. But if I'm pouring into them and showing them that I care, and if I'm getting to learn them and find out what's troubling them and show them ways to overcome, how they can cope, how they can overcome and be a success and thrive in life, then that's what I wanted to do and that's what I'm doing, and I think it is. Who is it? Is it Wes Brown? I think was it Dr Miles Monroe.

Speaker 2: 45:50

One of them stated that you should, whatever you do the work that you do, you should love it so much that you would be willing to do it and still put in the same passion and the energy, even if you didn't get a paycheck, and that's where I am with that, that same energy that I was putting in in that classroom, putting in as a principal director, a leader with those teachers and then educating those students. I'm able to do that without being hindered because in that, my last assignment in the public school system, I was told by my principal that I was an island to myself because I put my students first, I didn't just pay attention to the rules and the regulations. And then, in the private sector, in the private school, the CEO of a company that owned like 100 schools throughout the United States I was working for them is motto to us whenever we have our annual meetings was keep warm butts in seats by any means necessary. It was nothing about truly educating and developing well-rounded individuals to go out into society.

Speaker 2: 47:05

So that is what drove me to establish my organization to deal with, because I always wanted the students that no one else wanted so and to teach them that you can thrive, you can survive, you can overcome. And I do that through journaling, helping them to write out their thoughts, helping them to write their feelings down, meditation, because I teach my students, you have to have a clear mind. You have to be focused in order to learn, and I know the importance of meditation in order to help you reach that state. And then I also know the importance of the arts, be it drawing, music, any form of the arts is another way to stay balanced and to keep you focused. So those are three elements that I use with my students, with adults, I work with rape victims. I work with veterans. Also, I work with anyone that has experienced any type of trauma to help them overcome and be a better them through journaling, meditation and the arts and teaching them love through that process.

Speaker 1: 48:25

All right team. Let's take a quick break from this episode and I wanna share a leadership resource with you, and that is the resiliency based leadership program. Rblp's vision is to create a worldwide community of practice committed to building and leading resilient teams. So why do you need to build and lead a resilient team? Resilient teams are the key to individual and organizational growth, regardless of being in the military or in the civilian workforce. Building collective teams allows for exponential growth and the team's ability to overcome adversity, adapt and, most importantly, grow. And then bottom line, up front. Resilient teams are just stronger together.

Speaker 1: 49:04

And here's the fact 99% of the people who take that course recommended to others, and I'm one of them. It just completed my certification and I highly recommend this, and the great news is it's most likely free to you, and if you're in the military, it is 100% free to you. And if you wanna learn more, you can look in the show notes for this episode and find the link and use the discount code J-M-C-M-I-L-L-I-O-N, and that is also in the show notes. Back to the episode. There's a. So there's three quotes. I think it really summed up everything that you just said, but I'm gonna go with with two of them. One is another, one from Aristotle is educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all, and that's right and I cannot imagine I want my son and daughter taught by Cheryl.

Speaker 1: 50:01

I don't want my son and daughter to be taught and developed by people who want to have warm butts and seats because their heart is not aligned correctly. And to me, I almost infuriates me that there are people in education space that are willing to gamble on the future of society like that, because I mean, that is that, that is the future, that is the next generation that's going to come up.

Speaker 1: 50:29

And you said something else too, and I had one of the guests on the episode, jason Bank camp, say this and it just stuck with me the purpose of life is to find your gift. The meaning of life is to give it away, and that, to me, my purpose, is leadership. I want to teach people how to be a better leader, because I don't want them to go through the same struggles that I had to go through in the loss that I had to experience and I'm willing to give it away for free right there another far-fetched way that I would train teachers and I still speak to teach individuals still to this day.

Speaker 2: 51:10

I would share with my teachers and other leaders because there are some dramatic things that have happened in the workforce where you've had individuals come in and shoot up and all that sadly. But I would let them know because someone asked why do you do what you do, why do you give poor in so much? And I, you know, I let them know. You know, I think about that student that so many individuals have given up on. And if I continue to do what I'm doing and then one evening or one day, because you know a gun and a sick mind has no you know time frame as to whether they do a morning, night or noon to go out and do something, bring harm. But if so happen, I'm at that ATM machine and all of a sudden a gun is pointed to my head and if I turn and make contact with that individual and that individual see that oh, it's Ms Lawson Wright, she tried to help me and walk away. I say you never know what could trigger the mind. So I want to make sure because I know I'm not gonna, I wasn't gonna be able to save every student, but at least I was gonna give 100%. I was gonna pour out everything within me, within my power to do that and just so happen. You never know if you could stop. Because of your behavior and your attitude, you're showing that you value that person and you try your best could save your life.

Speaker 2: 52:51

And I actually had a student to come to me four years four, five years after I taught him in middle school out one balanced time, even having dinner, and he came up to me and you're Ms Lawson Wright and it's like. He's like you don't know me. And I was like I think you have to be a student because my students are the only ones who would call me by my full last name. And he, you know, called his name and said who he was. And I'm like, oh wow, look at you. And he was like I wanted to thank you. I graduated because of you. I'm like, baby, I had you seventh, eighth grade, so how did you graduate? Because of me.

Speaker 2: 53:32

He said you never gave up on me that you are the only teacher that I ever had that never said a negative thing. He said and I know I was bad, I was terrible in your classroom. He's like my mother, even gave up on me he was like when I got to that ninth grade.

Speaker 2: 53:50

I had the end of ninth grade. I think you say he had to repeat ninth grade, but he would say that that time I wanted to, you know, succeed. He say, all of those words, all of those positive things that you used to say to me, started to kick in and I heard those. By that time I was a water boy, but he let me know that he was a success because I did not give up on him in middle school, had a wife, had a baby and he actually they had started their own business and he said all these years he wanted to thank me.

Speaker 2: 54:26

So pouring out is not in vain. It may seem like you're not making a difference, but you know you never, you and we may never see the end results of our great leadership. But we have to still have that faith and believe that it's gonna be a positive outcome, whether we see it. You know some things are tangible right away and then they're gonna be some things that may not, you know, bloom a blossom into years later. So we don't give up because it may. It seems like we're not having a positive effect. We have to believe in our purpose and and why we are doing what we are doing and continue to pour out to be empty, and that's something that that's, miles Monroe, I want to die empty knowing that I purpose this is exactly why I wanted Cheryl Lawson right on the Tesla leadership podcast.

Speaker 1: 55:26

Because of this, the powerful stories you have, and that really summed up to me is are you planted or are you buried? The frame of mind? If you're buried, everything seems to be on top of your shoulders and just no way to move forward. But if you're planted, all the struggles you have right now, the issues you're going through, the tour model that you're going through, is for a reason, and one day you're going to be able to break through and see that light if you continue to go, and that that is such a powerful and inspiring story. That young man finding you and then Sharing that story, I guarantee it that I can only imagine. You know how emotional that that was. But kind of getting to where you are right now, what inspired you to write your book that you just wrote, jewels of my was it?

Speaker 2: 56:17

Jewels of my journey and quite a few of those writings came actually came from my many years of journaling and what inspired me to write it and because I wanted to share it with the multitudes, I wanted to help again, encourage and show individuals that there's power.

Speaker 2: 56:38

And writing it down and then you may think that you don't have, can't have an impact on the lives of others. But you never know, when someone else is reading your story or hearing your story or hearing Inspiring words from you, how you can help someone else blossom and, like you say, I'm blue right where you are. You may be in the desert right now, but reading jewels of my journey can help you recognize that. You know you may not see the water, but in the water that may be there tears that's falling from your eyes, but those tears are still water and they can still nurture you and help you bloom and overcome wait for that desert or for that storm to pass. So that is my, that's the purpose of jewels of my journey to help individual see that, regardless of what the journey looks like, that they are jewels there and it is up to us to write them down and hopefully inspire someone else through our story.

Speaker 1: 57:45

If you can find that is one of the the secrets to life that, unfortunately, I've just learned. But if you can find gratitude in some of your worst memories, that is where most of the true wisdom in life is found. If you can be grateful in some of your worst memories, then that is what is truly inspirational and that kind of goes to you know David Braun I think he has the quote is that Be grateful and have faith. But he's grateful and some of the most traumatic experiences that he had and he had faith that he's going to see it through. But you can be applied to anything and I love the title that jewels of my journey, finding jewels throughout the journey and tying it all back to journaling and being able to write it down on paper, because I shared this on the last episode, but it's true, I call it T ball.

Speaker 1: 58:44

Our thoughts shape our beliefs, our beliefs drive our action, our actions define our legacy and how we think. Writing it down, it gets it on paper and you would be amazed. I would show you all the notebooks that I have just written, just random notes, but what has come out of me is inspiring to me. I didn't even know that I had that inside of. We all have it inside of us, but we have to slow down and we have to be intentional and just.

Speaker 2: 59:12

Be intentional and take that time, even if you just start with a couple of minutes a day and just writing a thought that you may think is really important.

Speaker 2: 59:22

Yeah but once you go back and read it and reflect over, you can see that there's actually a message of that's going to help you do something better. I help you. You know that. You know maybe you need to rethink or take a different direction. So those written words there, there's power there. So it's very important For us to write them down so we can go back and reflect over them and then you can add to. You may be inspired, ok, well, there's another piece I need to add here and that's how you develop and I believe that's how many writers you know started. I don't know, you know what God has planned for me. I have about four other books that I know that that's in me that I've actually started. But whether or not I'm going to be that author of several books that sellers I'm claiming it, I don't know. But I'm going to continue to write them down because I know it's for purpose.

Speaker 1: 1:00:22

So what other projects are you currently working on right now and could you kind of walk through your nonprofit real hope for help?

Speaker 2: 1:00:31

Like I said, I work with veterans. Today I was that we have a mission here that house veterans. So today I was there meeting with the leader of the organization there were the veterans to set up a time where I will go in with them and help them. You know, give out, I have journals. I give those to any individuals that I provide the service to. They don't have to pay for any other supplies or any other services. So I will share part of my story. I have a veteran that's on my board who will also go and he will share his story and share how writing and journaling helped him to overcome and thrive. And we will have sessions with those veterans, some that may want to get like prompts to help them get put their thoughts on paper and then even to help those other ones that understand that just freelance and just whatever. You know, there's no method to it, there's no right or wrong, but just put your thoughts on paper. You know who. You know what made you mad. You know, doing basic training, was there something that you disagree with or was that something where you you wanted to go off on someone? You know? Did you have to cry sometime? You know whatever those thoughts are. You know, did you make it a career of? Why did you get out? What triggered? You know where you are? Do you feel that you can do more than what you're doing? So different prompts to help them overcome and understand that there is nothing wrong with putting those words on paper, even if it bring tears to your eyes, that there's more room outside than there is inside.

Speaker 2: 1:02:21

And we go through a thing with the release, through the organization, where we use the dissolvable paper after we go through a session of meditating and thinking of something that we know that we need, that's been holding us down, that that has us bound, you think of those things be a one thing, or you know 100 things, but you're going to be at a place to where, if you don't feel that you can release everything after that day session, but the thing that you know that you can release and that's going to help you move to the next level, you're going to write that thing or those things on that paper. And then there's this bowl with the spoon where, when you're ready to release it, you may decide to do it instantly, or it may take you later that day, or, you know, sometimes I'll leave the bowl, the equipment there, and they will come back later that night or, they know, the next day. But whenever they're ready to release, put that paper in that water and stir it and it's going to dissolve. And at that time, when you release it, you will not to pick it back up, even if it's something that you can't change. But you've been carrying it because I share with them. If you can't change it, don't carry it. So don't pick it. You know you may not be able to do anything about it right now, or you may not be able to do anything about it at all. So why carry it while I allow it to hinder you from being that person that you know you were created to be?

Speaker 2: 1:04:01

So that's one of the many things that we do with the organization. We help with food. You know, if there's a single mom that's struggling, we will go to the different pantries and get food, or we will give money to take someone to the grocery store, take individuals to doctors appointments. I work also with the cancer survivors. We have our care package that we give to them the journal, we give out the socks, we give out the scarves for their heads. What else? Trying to think the pins will pass. So it's just anything any way that I know that I can help put a smile, help individuals to recognize that they are important and that they have purpose. That is the purpose of real hope for help and what we do.

Speaker 1: 1:05:02

I love that and one of the things close to my heart is veterans and helping them work through some of those issues, and that's really where all of this started for me tells the leadership, leadership, leadership, and it kept going back to how can I impact 1 million veteran lives and 10 years? How can I do that?

Speaker 1: 1:05:23

I can do that by helping develop better leaders and having them lead soldiers better right that's how I do it and I love how you're doing it and I love your heart, like just how big it is, and it's not. It knows no bounds, it's not just one area, it's every area anyone, equity, diversity, it doesn't matter your background. I'm here to help you and I'm here, most importantly, to serve you. It's time for our final show segment that I like to call the killer bees. These are the same four questions that ask every guest on the tales of leadership podcast be brief, be brilliant, be present and be gone. Question one so what do you believe separates a good leader from extraordinary leader?

Speaker 2: 1:06:11

Recognizing that they, although they may have all of their degrees and their titles, but they can still learn, that they are not beyond learning and learning from someone on under them.

Speaker 1: 1:06:26

Second question what is one resource you can recommend to our listeners?

Speaker 2: 1:06:35

The open, transparent. And the way we do that is to journal Right, yeah, jar every day journal so you can go back and self reflect to see how you can do something better the next time.

Speaker 1: 1:06:47

Over seventy five episodes recorded. No one has said journaling is a resource, and it just dawned on me that that is the most important resource that we have. I love that, okay. So question three if you could go back in time and give a younger self a piece of advice, what would it be?

Speaker 2: 1:07:10

Never allow what you think your limits are to build limit. Be willing to Step outside of that comfort zone and never put limits on yourself. Never put limits on yourself.

Speaker 1: 1:07:29

So last question how can our listeners find you? And then, more importantly, how can they add value to you or your mission?

Speaker 2: 1:07:38

They can find me on Facebook, all of the social media outlets. I do have a personal page, cheryl Lawson, right, but then the organization is real hope for help on Facebook, instagram, twitter to have all of the social outlets. The email is real hope for help at gmailcom website is real hope for help and they can reach out to me. There they can help. They can purchase a book, because all proceeds from the book goes to what there's no profit for me. All of the proceeds go to support the services of the organization. And if they want to donate, it as a nonprofit.

Speaker 2: 1:08:22

So any donations would be tax exempt, so they can feel free to donate. And if they're at a corporation, like, say, bank of America, which I have an individual who you know raised funds there, they do matching grants. So anyone that if you're making donations, use reported, you know, let me know. I can go on to that site and let them know that this donation was made and then that organization, that corporation, will match that donation. So what I do, like I said, I don't get paid and it does anything great that we do there's a cost Because we don't charge any of the individuals, the recipients, anything. So it does take funds. It does take grant. If there's someone out there that's a grant writer that would like to donate services, that's something, because there are many grants out there that can benefit what we do.

Speaker 1: 1:09:23

Cheryl, this has been an amazing episode and I'll be honest with you, when I filmed this, I was I was concerned that I was wasn't going to be able to give you my full attention because I had several things happen today and I had another podcast that I had to film. But this is by far, I think, one of the most inspiring episodes that I've ever filmed and helping me kind of rekindle the heart. The drive that I have just hearing yours and I always talk about that I try to find people that come on here that share the same core values and the beliefs that I have is that there is a better way to lead, regardless of what you're doing, and there's people, transformational leaders, what I like to call purposeful, accountable leaders out there that are doing it and they're doing it right, and you are one of them and I'm glad to know you and I'm glad to have you in my life. This has been an amazing episode.

Speaker 2: 1:10:15

Thank you so much for this opportunity, josh, and it has been a pleasure. I mean from day one, I think. We connected and I've always enjoyed communing with you, and tonight was no different. So thank you for this opportunity to share.

Speaker 1: 1:10:31

Have a great night. All right, team. That was another amazing episode with another amazing guest. I like to call it a purposeful accountable leader. Cheryl is a purposeful accountable leader and I think you got a taste of what I already knew was there in her heart is just so big, of how she helps freely with everything, and I think it really summed up when she wrote the book Jules of my journey and is getting absolutely no profit from it. It goes straight to her nonprofit organization and if that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about Cheryl, then I don't know what will.

Speaker 1: 1:11:13

But what are the top three takeaways that you should have from this episode? And I'll be honest, as always, it was hard for me to narrow it down. You may have different ones, I'd love to hear what you have, but for me I wrote down the three, the stock. The first one is fly going to be a fly leader. It's funny because I'm great with acronyms that I believe Cheryl is to talk about being a rad leader, being a pro leader. Well, now we have being fly leader.

Speaker 1: 1:11:41

First, love yourself and we talked about this in the show is the concept of the battery you have to charge yourself before you can go out into the world into a day. Give energy to your family, give energy to your team, give energy to the problems you're gonna be facing, give energy to the organization. You have to figure out a way to charge yourself first, and if you can't do that, then you're not going to be able to lead sustainably. And one of the rules that have be able to lead with the rule of a hundred percent Give each day a hundred percent of your effort. Maybe today won't be exactly equal to yesterday, and that's okay. But the concept of you being able to give a hundred and twenty percent today because you only win eighty percent tomorrow is mathematically impossible. And if you do that you're only going to lead to burnout. So how do you prevent it? Figure out ways To recharge yourself. Be a fly leader. Love yourself first.

Speaker 1: 1:12:42

Number two is rowing. I love this concept in this metaphor. It's never going to come out of my head. But what is the concept of rowing? It is a group of individuals that are synchronized so closely that they are all working towards the shared vision and a common in state, common goals, common mission. They're rowing together. If one person on that team has an ego and tries to show other people up, they will ruin the entire experience for everyone. So rowing is one of the best metaphors of teamwork that I've ever heard of and ever thought of, and credit to Cheryl for coming up with that and the last one that I had, and this one was hard for me to kind of narrow it down.

Speaker 1: 1:13:33

But it's being planted versus being buried and it's how you see yourself. You can have a big purpose, you can have a big why and you can be doing all the right things. But if you view yourself as just being buried, of more stuff being piled on you, more stuff being piled on you, you're eventually going to hit, trace or burnout what we talked about before. But you need to rethink the problem of where you are right now. You are not buried, you are planted. You're there for a reason. Those things are happening for a reason. You're never given more than you can handle. One day you are going to grow because you're growing right now. We grow in discomfort. We are stretched in discomfort. We become better leaders in turmoil. You will grow and you will reach the sunlight. You are planted, you are not buried.

Speaker 1: 1:14:32

Hey guys, if you got any value from this episode, do me a favor, subscribe, share this episode, write a review. Go to Macmillan leadership coaching dot com. Read one of my blog articles and leave me a comment. Let me know if the content that I am creating for you is adding value. Hit me up on social media. Follow me on Instagram, and another great thing that you can do is support this channel. I do everything for free. I have an amazing podcast editor, but I do it because, just like Cheryl, I'm trying to add value to you guys, to this world, to become a better leader and show you there is another way to lead of where it's not going to result and just burn out and stepping on people all the time, all the way up to the top. There's a lot of people out there. There's another way, there's a better way you could be a purposeful, accountable leader. As always, I'm your host, josh McMillian, saying every day is a gift. Don't waste yours. I'll see you next time.