# 120: Joshua McMillion - Be All In

In this solo episode of Tales of Leadership, Joshua McMillion breaks down what it truly means to be “all in” as a leader, husband, parent, teammate, and human being. Leadership is not built in comfort. It’s forged through adversity, discipline, accountability, and the willingness to move forward even when life feels heavy. Joshua shares the mindset and routines that have helped him navigate pressure, uncertainty, failure, and toxic leadership environments while staying committed to a mission bigger than himself. This episode challenges listeners to stop waiting for the perfect moment and start taking purposeful action right now.

The episode dives into building an unreasonable mission, developing steadfast resolve through daily habits, surrounding yourself with unbreakable relationships, and cultivating resilience through deliberate discomfort. Joshua also discusses the real cost of toxic leadership and why developing Purposeful Accountable Leaders matters more than ever. This episode is a reminder that the world does not need perfect leaders — it needs leaders who are present, committed, and willing to step fully into the arena. Every day is a gift. Don’t waste yours.

Tales of Leadership is a leadership platform dedicated to developing Purposeful Accountable Leaders (PALs) through real stories, shared experiences, and practical insight. Each episode breaks down the decisions, failures, and defining moments that shape leaders in the arena—offering honest, experience-driven lessons you can apply immediately. It’s built for those who want to grow with intention, elevate how they lead, and make a lasting impact—because leadership isn’t about rank, it’s about responsibility, and the greatest leaders live by one principle: deeds, not words.

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Every day is a gift. Don’t waste yours.
 — Joshua K. McMillion

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Transcript

Why Purposeful Leadership Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You're listening to the Tells the Leadership Podcast. This podcast is for leaders at any phase on their leadership journey to become a more purposeful and accountable leader. What I like to call how. Join me on our journey together towards transformational leadership. All right, team.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Welcome back to the Tells the Leadership Podcast. I'm your host, Josh McMillian. I am an active duty Army officer and the host of the Tells the Leadership Podcast. And I'm on a journey to become the best possible leader that I can. And I plan to do that by bringing on other purposeful and accountable leaders or pals or those who lead with intention integrity and make an inspire impact in this world. Now I also plan to go through my self-study as a leader, my leadership habits through my journaling experiences and share that with you through the lens of my leadership. And as always, it's important to describe our why. And for me, I've seen the cost of poor leadership. I know how it can destroy morale, trust, and in the worst cases, lead to a loss of life, including suicide. And that is why I'm committing my life to helping others lead with purpose. Through Tells of Leadership, I share real stories of actual insights on how to overcome adversity and become the kind of leader people remember for the

Free Tools To Keep Learning

SPEAKER_01 1:24

right reasons. But before we begin, I want to remind you again of some free tools. So you can go to Linktree slash Tells of Leadership and you'll be able to find everything there. The podcast, the leadership articles, the podcasts that I've done, how to connect with me, all of that is there. You can also go to McMillian Leadership Coaching.com slash Tales of Leadership, and you'll be able to find every single one of my podcast episodes to include additional articles that I have written, including this one, being all in. And then finally, you can go to Tales of Leadership.buzzsprout.com. That's my primary podcast hosting platform. And with that one, uh, you can read through the entire transcripts of the podcast episode, which is a new cool feature. And as always, stay to the very end, and I will share with you kind of my final thoughts. But today,

What It Means To Be All In

SPEAKER_01 2:15

we are not bringing on a transformational leader or a purposeful accountable leader. We're focusing on a specific topic that I have journaled about. And I'm calling this one be all in. So leadership in life is all about action, being committed to moving the needle forward and understanding the work or sacrifice required to actually achieve results. That is also the burden of leadership. It takes an engaged, purpose-filled leader to create traction. I find myself falling back to a verse from Jeremiah chapter 29, verse 11. For I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and hope. These words are true, but one critical piece is missing that I've learned. And if it's to be, it's up to me, right? No one else is going to help you. And you can hear this time and time and time and time again through all the different self-help books. If you want to achieve results, you need to do the work. No one will do the work for you. You may be in all the right places at the right time and have the right job and or influence, but if you do not have the intentional fortitude to put in the work and achieve results, you're never going to. History has proven time and time again that challenges shape those who are willing to rise to meet them head on. My goal in this article is to inspire you with a very simple framework and provide that intrinsic motivation to go take action, take charge, and be ready when Murphy strikes. To

Adversity Is Coming For Everyone

SPEAKER_01 3:59

begin the conversation, let's start by naming some challenges that I've faced so we can bring it closer to home throughout my years. And most of you, if you're listening to this podcast, you have gone through these exact same trials. I've lived through multiple different conflicts. And heck, I've deployed twice to active combat zones, both Afghanistan and Iraq. I've navigated a global pandemic. I've witnessed epic uh economic downturn several times. I've lost loved ones. I've been given challenges that at the time seem impossible. I remember growing up in rural West Virginia where I'm from, Nicholas County, West Virginia. If you ever want to find it on a map, find the Benangahila National Forest and say that three times fast. And then look for Richwood, West Virginia, and an even smaller town is Fenwick, West Virginia. Uh, that's the part of rural West Virginia that I'm from. And I remember having my father working in the coal mines during that time and being laid off countless times. That level of uncertainty weighed heavy on me, especially as a young man. Um, but it was hard to kind of grow up in that environment and to put the cherry on the cake. Uh, the high school that I went to school in, Richwood High School in Nicholas County, flooded in 2016, and they have yet to rebuild it. They're starting to do it now, um, which blows my mind how much money they're spending on a school there, but finally starting to do it. Just to kind of give you an idea, the school that I graduated in in 2005, it's no longer there. The kids are going to schools in uh connexes. So today we stand in the middle of political and social uh turmoil and division. That is the nature of the pendulum that we live in as a republic. We are actively engaged in a great power competition with near-peer countries that pose a very immediate threat to us and our way of life. So here's the key takeaway um adversity is inevitable, regardless of who you are, but the way we respond to those challenges defines us as the framework I'm trying to help build a purposeful, accountable leader, aka about. Being a military officer in the past 16 years, I pull inspiration from other leaders. One of the greatest that I personally love was General George S. Patton, a man known for his unwavering resolve, has the best quote I've ever heard that fully embodies the essence of what I'm trying to achieve in this article. And a good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan next week. I love that quote. And I could use it every single day because it's so true. And it kind of falls back into the Prento principle, too, is that 20% of your work will achieve 80% of your results, or 20% of your people will achieve 80% of your results. It kind of goes back to that is like get to a good enough plan, then go violently execute that plan and don't wait for a perfect plan to arise because when you're ready, the enemy's already gotten a vote. And we as a country must be daring in our actions. And there's a quote by the SAS: he who dares wins. I love that. Never hesitate to move the needle when you have the opportunity. In essence, what I'm about to share with you is my mindset, what I love to call the McMillian mindset, a mindset that I've learned through the adversities that have shaped me, regardless of the storms that I've encountered.

Build An Unreasonable Mission

SPEAKER_01 7:38

And here's the first one have an unreasonable mission. Let's just start off with a simple question. Do you believe your mission on life is important? And do you have an unreasonable mission? For me, uh, my mission is simple. I want to eliminate toxic leadership. That may seem basic on the surface, but it's a very powerful uh at the deeper of the why behind it. I've seen the cost of toxic leaders. If you've listened to my podcast for more than just a couple episodes, I kind of continue to repeat the main themes, and I mean that, is that toxic leaders are uh a very negative type of leadership or transitional leadership habits that we have within our culture right now, and it can weigh down individuals and organizations, it can ruin careers, it's 100% lowers morale and then damages the culture of any workforce that you're actively in. It creates a toxic climate and it leads to poor decisions based on fear, decisions that have devastating consequences. And yes, I believe with better leadership, more lives can be saved. That's really the journey that I'm on right now, especially when it comes to our sons and daughters who serve in the military. And to kind of reframe that for you just a little bit 1% of our population, 1% serves in the military. And out of that, 1% is in the combat arms. And to break it even further, 1% of those are in the special operations community. If you can continue to break it down, but if you're listening to this and you have served or you do serve now, thank you. Uh, because you're part of that 1%, you're part of America's greatest generation, and genuinely mean that I believe today is the greatest generation because we have had more hardships than any other generation that I could possibly think of. Leadership is not a title or a privilege, and you can listen to Simon Sinek or anyone else who's an authority on leadership, and they'll tell you the exact same thing. It is an unreasonable call to action, it's an obligation to make the tough decisions for the greater good. Uh a mission is critical to move the needle. We don't dictate the terms we're given, we pursue the instinct when it's convenient or when it's impossible. And that's important to understand is that if you're on a mission, you're gonna have easy times and you're gonna have hard times. Uh, but you don't just stop when it gets hard, you continue to move forward, especially in those unconvenient times. And I mean, heck, like just look at it from a podcasting perspective. I've been podcasting for two years, and there were points and times of where I would have zero downloads throughout the week. And I I just thought to myself, it's like, no one's listening to this. Why would I continue to do it? And I didn't listen to that little demon on my shoulder just telling me all this negative self-talk. And it was like, you know what? I'm on a mission. I'm gonna continue to put content out there and we'll see where we're at. And now I have like almost 10,000 downloads, which is absolutely humbling in a way. This mindset must be who you are, ingrained in your very fabric and essence that defines your identity. Too many people today lack the intestinal fortitude to seek purpose, they simply just want purpose to find them. That's not how the world works. If it is to be, it is up to me. Remember that. We are the ones in the arena, just like Teddy Roosevelt talked about, trying to make a better world for those we love. And here's a quote by John Maxwell, someone that I absolutely love. I love reading his books. A leader is the one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. So the next one is a steadfast resolve.

Steadfast Resolve Through Daily Habits

SPEAKER_01 11:32

A quote I find myself consistently coming back to in life is Aristotle. And if you've ever worked with me, you know that it's in every one of my signature blocks. And at the essence, this is really who I am. Um, and I don't know if he actually wrote this or not. There's some web search, couldn't really um attribute it to him, but I'm sticking with Aristotle. Uh, prove me wrong. We are what we repetitively do. Excellence then isn't an act, it's a habit. Grit is not something we are born with, it's stamped on us through life experiences, but it can be cumulated over time and developed with reinforcing habits, and that's critical, having habits that help us build that steadfast resolve. Unless we set the conditions to shape our surroundings, we will never develop that type of mental fortitude. So let's talk about routines. Create routines that are self-serving uh and selfless. To give you some specific examples with this is a morning routine. A morning routine is the best way to just to start the day off with a min. Every morning I do uh the single most uncomfortable thing that I could possibly think of. Maybe one day I'll I'll get a video of this, but I wake up at four o'clock in the morning, which is by itself always hard. I don't care who you are. Um, waking up at four o'clock is just not fun. I walk downstairs and then I drink my coffee or bone broth, either one. I'm starting to do this bone broth thing to try to limit the amount of caffeine that I take. But then I go take a three-minute plunge in my 40 to 45 degree water. That mental suffering each day is a test. I listen to that. If you ever listen to Joe Rogan, uh he's he talks about he has two kinds of uh personalities. He has the general, and then he has this is gonna be a bad word, I apologize, the inner bitch. Um, and sometimes that inner bitch comes out, and every single morning for me, but just like how Joe Rogan talks about is he has that other persona, the general, the general outweighs it. I know it's gonna be discomfort, uh, but that three minutes of pain that I'm gonna go through is going to cause a dopamine spike. It's gonna help me uh get the brown fat released through my muscles and get my metabolism going for the day, and it sets me up for success. I listen to that little voice telling me to sleep in and stay in a warm bed, but I choose to be unreasonable and I start the day off with a win. To achieve mental resolve, use this simple affirmation. And I love saying this all the time, especially if I've ever served with you, you know it. Deeds, not words. Does your actions align with the habits and principles you choose? Or are you just blowing smoke up your ass? Or sorry, third point of contact. I'm trying not to cuss. Um, are you showing up and being powerful when it's uncomfortable or only when it's convenient? It kind of goes back to what we just talked about before is that you need to be there more importantly, in those uncomfortable times. Experiential avoidance, by the way, is a term that I just heard. And I think uh the psychologist who created this was Rob Archer, and essentially defines a clinical um study of how people avoid uh deliberate discomfort. When they get into uncomfortable situations, they begin to shrink away from it. And at the end of the day, it cumulatively builds more stress. So here is a fun fact for you if you are avoiding discomfort, you are becoming increasingly more stressed and you become less resilient. If you want to be more resilient, learn how to tackle complex problems, you have to embrace that discomfort. The easy path is finding excuses to not take action. When that uh thought pops up, it's like a mental hurdle that you have to learn to overcome. But the weight of an action builds over time, days, years, and then eventually can cause middle runs and a habit trap that is self-sabotaging. That's exactly what we're not trying to do. It's uncomfortable. That's just the nature of life. We do things that are uncomfortable every single day. You have to accept that and give each day 100% because that's all that we can do. And purposeful accountable leaders, they talk the talk and then they walk the walk. And here's a quote by John Wayne courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. So that is the whole point. Again, just embracing that level of discomfort and just moving forward.

Sponsor Message And Quick Break

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Today's show sponsor comes from 10th Mountain Whiskey and Spirit Company. They are a philanthropic award-winning craft distillery located in the heart of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. For being a listener of Tales of Leadership, you'll get 10% off on any order using the promo code PandoCommando when you place an order at 10th Whiskey.com. Both of those are in the show notes, so you'll be able to find them. 10th Mountain Whiskeys and Spirit Company honor heroes and they craft legacy. I've commanded two organizations in the 10th Mountain, and both of which are very deeply impactful to me. This is a company that I stand behind. And if you're looking for a great bottle of bourbon, look no further at 10th Mountain Whiskey and Spirit Company. Back to the show.

Unbreakable Bonds And Accountability

SPEAKER_01 17:09

And the next one is unbreakable bonds. I've been blessed in my life to have some of the most amazing leaders in the world uh surround me and offer me mentorship. And especially when I was a young platoon leader, that was the most influential time of my entire career because I was so eager to lead in combat. I was given the finest group of non-commissioned officers, the finest warriors this world has to offer. And I genuinely believe that. If I ever had to go back in combat, that would be who I would go back to combat with. I would bet today's warrior culture in the combat arms is the best and most resourceful, and given the chance most daring that we've ever witnessed. At the core of who I am are the lessons that I learned from those men. Those bonds, many of which only lasted a year or two, are timeless to me. I could pick up a conversation with an old soldier like it was yesterday. Why? Because during the time I spent with those men, it was a time where I was all in. We were all in. Not everyone has those bonds in life, and I get it. So how can you find your accountability partner? I say the single most important person in my life is my wife. And if you're married and you have a significant other, it's probably the same because that's who you spend outside of yourself the most time with. She has been and continues to be the foundation of the McMillian family. She gives me strength when I am weak, confidence when I am doubtful, and purpose when I am lacking. But most importantly, love when I'm full of hate. And trust me, there are times uh that if you ever watch the Sapel show, The Hater Ball, I'm just full of hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Uh, but she helps center me. She centers me and is my largest champion. When I want to quit, and there are times that I want to quit because I'm not perfect, she picks me up. And if I could openly admit, her ability to be a truly wonderful mother is one of the most inspiring things about her. I'm extremely blessed to have her in my life. So, as a testament to this, uh, I wrote this podcast uh episode when I was on a business trip. And you can go read the article, the full article. I wrote it when I was on a business trip. And to provide you a little bit of context over the last two years, I spent eight months on the road away from home. That's basically a deployment. I was gone almost as much as the time I was in Afghanistan, which was nine, almost ten months. Everyone needs people like this in their life. It doesn't matter how successful or driven you are, eventually you will falter. So here's a powerful question you need to think about. Who will be there to pick you up? Who will stand side by side when challenges come your way? And here's a quote by Phil Jackson and the Chicago Bulls, let's just talk about the greatest team ever. Um, the GOAT in my mind is always Michael Jordan. I never watch basketball today, but I was an avid basketball fan growing up in rural West Virginia, and the Chicago Bulls were my jam, and I love Phil Jackson. Uh, the strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team. That's such a great quote. And here's the last one unreasonable resilience.

Unreasonable Resilience In Real Life

SPEAKER_01 20:55

So, what is resilience? I think it's important to kind of define that. It's one of the most overused words in leadership. I believe it's your creative problem-solving ability. Here's the truth. I see a lack of resilience today, especially among the youth. And I believe that's a cause because we're too positive. We have a positive reinforcement culture. And that's a topic that I'm going to tackle in a future article to kind of help really break that kind of thought process down. And if you are never challenged in your life, just think about this, and you're always given a prize, a trophy, or recognition, it doesn't create an incentive to stand out, to actually try because you know you're going to be recognized or rewarded. Too much positive reinforcement pacifies our ability to find that sixth gear. Growth and resilience are two sides of the same coin. Take my personal story as inspiration. I'm the first person in my immediate family to get a bachelor's degree. Then I went to get a master's degree in systems engineering, which my bachelor's degree is in criminal justice. I didn't do anything with my bachelor's degree. I've won numerous awards. None of that could have been possible without putting myself in deliberate discomfort. And to be humble for the awards, um everything that I've achieved in my career professionally in the Army was because of the great men and women that I've served with. They were the ones that achieved the results. I was just the leader at the time, blessed enough to have the opportunity to work with them. We all have choices embrace an easy life or choose to live a life of adventure. I choose to live a life of adventure. I choose to grow every day. I choose to embrace discomfort because I want to be resilient and I want to teach those habits to my children. I'm not naive to the fact that as Americans, we have daily choices. But remember, the hardest thing in life are often the most rewarding. And too many people give into self-sabotaging habits. Don't do that. We are the most creative problem solvers on this planet. And I attended a recent workshop by an MIT professor, and he explained that the human brain has roughly 100 trillion connections. So to frame this, the artificial intelligence, right? Right now, the time of filming this, there are roughly 400 trillion connections that an artificial intelligence has, meaning like brain connective tissues, right? But specifically tied to connection of building a body of knowledge within artificial intelligence, at least as of now. But technology, uh technology will eventually catch up. It's going to happen, it's inevitable. AI will be smarter than us. But right now, that squishy stuff between your ears is the most powerful tool that you've got, and you need to learn how to use it. And here's a quote by Theodore Roosevelt: do what you can with what you have where you are. Understand you have the tools at your disposal right now to conquer your problems if you have the courage and the intestinal fortitude to just embrace it.

Unlimited Potential And Sledgehammer Mindset

SPEAKER_01 24:18

The next one is an unlimited potential. I believe we are all created by God with unique strengths and purposes. That purpose isn't always clear. It gets more clear and more focused over time. And I don't shy away from my faith. I'm not trying to push it on you, uh, but I am who I am today because I know God has gifted me with specific abilities, and I'm on a specific uh course in life living my purpose through through his will. And I understand that. Um, but I'm not trying to push that on you. That's just how I reflected on my journaling experience. As I've said, my mission is to eliminate toxic leadership, and my goal is to reach one million lives. That's a pretty lofty goal, in my opinion. Uh, by itself, that's daunting. But every day is a chance for me to move the needle and fulfill that promise. Every day you have the potential to become that person you were created to be. It starts with understanding that simple truth. You have what it takes. It comes down to giving a damn, having the drive and the mental fortitude to break walls, that sledgehammer mindset. I love that concept. Since I was a young infantry officer, I have adopted what I like to call the sledgehammer mindset. So, what's the purpose of a sledgehammer? To be a blunt force, to destroy obstacles in its path. The beauty is a sledgehammer may crack, it may dent, it may chip, it may have scratches, but it continues, it persists. I think about the father I want to be to my children, the servant leader I aspire to be for the nation, and all of it comes back to that type of mentality. I'm gonna get older, my body will fail, but my mind will not, my resolve will not. I will continue to move forward just like that sledgehammer. The way we live our lives matters. The conversations we have matters, the decisions we make matters, they leave a lasting impact, not just on our family, but everyone that we live with. It defines our legacy. We all have unique strengths and gifts, but are we using them? So here is a great quote by Frederick Nietzsche. He who has a why to live can bear almost anyhow. So here are my final thoughts, and we'll do a quick after action review so with some powerful questions.

After Action Review And Reflection

SPEAKER_01 26:55

Leadership and life both demand action. Committed, uncomfortable, unrelenting action. To lead with purpose, you must have an unreasonable mission that drives you through the chaos. You need steadfast resolve, forged by discipline and tested in discover. You must build unbreakable bonds with people who will challenge you and carry you in your need, and you must cultivate an unreasonable resilience because storms aren't a matter of if, they're a matter of when. And above all, you must believe in your unlimited potential. The world doesn't need perfect leaders because there is no perfect leader. I sure am not a perfect leader. I am full of faults. It needs present leaders, leaders who show up, they stand firm, they swing the sledgehammer with purpose. Be all in, not half in, not when it's easy, but every single day, especially when it's hard. I got goosebumps right now, just kind of going through my final thoughts. That is the McMillian mindset. That's what it means to be a purposeful, accountable leader. And here are three powerful questions that you need to spend some time reflecting on. Am I all in on my mission? Or am I holding back when things get uncomfortable? What daily habits am I building to strengthen my resolve, resilience, and relationships? Who in my life holds me accountable? And do I let them speak into my blind spots? And what I mean by blind spots is we always have this dead space. It's invisible to us, but it's extremely invisible to other people. And that's why we need accountability partners to help us uncover those blind spots or those dead

Spread The Word And Support

SPEAKER_01 28:48

spaces. All right, team, do me a favor. I always ask this, but I sincerely, sincerely, sincerely mean it. Help me spread the word of my podcast. If you could do these following things, it would bring tremendous value. Number one, just like, share, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening. Leave a review, send me feedback. I love hearing feedback. And you can reach me on multiple different social media platforms, and that falls the next one. Go follow me on social media. You can find me at Tells the Leadership on almost any single um social media platform. If you want to support the show, you can do that by becoming a show sponsor or simply donating at tells the leadership.buzzsprout.com, and all proceeds are going to be going back into this show. And eventually I'm going to be focusing on some nonprofit work that gives back to the veteran community. But as always, I am your host, Josh McMillian, saying every day's a gift. Don't waste your words. I'll see you next time.