# 124: Joshua McMillion - Transformational Leadership

Most teams don’t fail because they lack talent. They fail because leaders chase quick wins, cling to control, and create distance from their people. We’re raising the standard above the bar and getting specific about transformational leadership: the kind that builds trust, grows future leaders, and chooses significance over temporary success. 

I walk through 10 concrete traits you can practice right away, starting with leading like a shepherd who guides, guards, and grows without needing the spotlight. From there I dig into operating in the gray, building a real feedback loop when candid input gets scarce, and strengthening resilience so problem solving becomes a shared habit. I also unpack perspective and responsibility, plus HUGS: humility, understanding as empathy, gratitude, and a servant heart that serves without an agenda while still holding a high standard. 

You’ll also hear a practical take on mission command and delegation, how to give away control without setting your team up to fail, and why “observe, coach, and train” matters as your influence expands. Then we shift into the inner work: a sledgehammer mindset for removing obstacles, decisiveness rooted in listening, and the journaling-driven questions that help you discover who you are, clarify core values, and lead from the inside out. I close with the leadership move that changes everything: closing the distance to build relationships that make organizations unbreakable. 

If this helps you lead with more purpose and accountability, subscribe, share it with a teammate, and leave a review. What’s one gap you need to close with your people this week?

Tales of Leadership is a leadership platform dedicated to developing Purposeful Accountable Leaders (PALs) through real stories, shared experiences, and practical insight. Each episode breaks down the decisions, failures, and defining moments that shape leaders in the arena—offering honest, experience-driven lessons you can apply immediately. It’s built for those who want to grow with intention, elevate how they lead, and make a lasting impact—because leadership isn’t about rank, it’s about responsibility, and the greatest leaders live by one principle: deeds, not words.

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Every day is a gift. Don’t waste yours.
 — Joshua K. McMillion

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Transcript

Welcome And Mission

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Welcome to Tells of Leadership. Our mission is simple. To develop a better leader by arming you with the tools required to lead with purpose, integrity, and accountability. This podcast is designed to do one thing. Help develop a more purposeful and accountable leader, what I like to call a path. Leaders who are in the arena making tough decisions, lifting others up, and choosing people over their own egos. Through real stories and conversations with leaders who have walked that path. Powerful leadership lessons, you'll gain the wisdom needed to tackle any obstacle this world can throw. If you're ready to step into the arena and become the leader your team, your family, and your community need, you're in the right place. This is Tells of Leadership. All right, team. Welcome back to the Tells of Leadership Podcast. I'm your host, Josh McMillian. I'm an active duty Army officer. I'm an Army Leadership Coach, and I'm the founder of McMillian Leadership Coaching and the host of this podcast. And I'm on a mission to create a better leader, one that I like to call a purposeful, accountable leader, a PAL. Those PALs lead with integrity, intention, and impact. And I also want to grow through self-study, my own leadership habits, and my own journaling experience that I plan to share with you through the lens of my leadership journey in the state is I want to impact one million lives for the better in the next 10 years by sharing transformational leadership stories to help you lead with purpose and become a more purposeful and accountable

What A Purposeful Accountable Leader Is

SPEAKER_00 2:29

leader. And before we begin, I want to make sure that you're armed with all the right tools. So you can go to McMillian Leadership Coaching.com at Tells of Leadership Backslash, and you'll be able to find every single one of my leadership articles and podcasts that I've filmed to date. If you want to just listen to podcast episodes, you can go to tells of leadership.buzzsprout.com or you can listen to it on any uh podcast uh hosting platforms. And also go to McMillian Leadership Coaching.com, make sure you subscribe. And when you do that, again, it's free of charge for you. You'll make sure that you get notifications when I release a new article or new content when it comes out. So today's episode is really probably one of the most important ones, and it's focused on transformational leadership. At the core of who I am and what I'm trying to do, it's to be a better leader. And I'm kind of sharing my leadership journey with you guys in real time. But one of them, uh what I'm really striving to be, is a transformational leader. So in one of the previous episodes, I walked you through what I believe a toxic habit is for leadership, and that's trans uh transitional leadership. Today we're going above the bar. Uh remember, I always talk about there's a standard within the organization, and that is the bar. That's the bare minimum. That's just to be acceptable. Uh, today we're shooting above the bar. And above

Why Transformational Leadership Matters

SPEAKER_00 3:58

the bar for me is transformational leadership. And this is the second path less traveled by leaders in today's world. This path requires you to place the needs of others over your own. It demands routine, it demands accountability and discipline, rad. So you have to be rad in your actions. It inspires those around you to be better. When leaders choose this path, they sacrifice temporary success for a life of significance. To be a transformational leader, you must possess specific leadership characteristics. And in this episode, I'm going to equip you with the 10 that I've learned to help you become a more transformational leader or a PAL, purposeful, accountable leader. Choosing this path requires a servant's heart, the highest character, and an unwavering integrity. It requires you to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, not because it's the popular thing to do. So here are the 10 ways that I've learned through my journaling and my shared experience to be a better leader, a purposeful, accountable leader. We'll start off with this quote by Nelson Medella: a leader is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that they were being directed from behind all along. And that's exactly what transformational leadership is. And if you go to McMillian leadership coaching, um, I'll have it underneath the very first one. That's the first one's to be a shepherd. A true leader walks among the flock to guide, guard, and then grow. So the first way to become a purposeful, accountable leader, a transformational leader in my eyes, is to become a shepherd. So what does a shepherd do? Let's start off with that. First, pals

Be A Shepherd For Your Team

SPEAKER_00 5:58

are visionaries, able to lay out the journey clearly and concisely so that everyone can see the path to success. Think of it as a symbolic leadership bridge. There's a starting point and there's a clear ending point. The shepherd's job is to provide their team with the direction, purpose, and motivation needed to make that journey safely. Not to do the work for them or to stand in front of them and take all the credit, but to ensure that their team stays on azimuth. When obstacles arise, that demands a leader's attention. Purposeful accountable leaders emerge from the pack and lead decisively. At all other times, they observe, they coach, and they train what I like to call OT OCT. And I've learned that when I was in one of my previous units at Jair TC, now Fort Johnson used to be Fort Polk. Their team. A purposeful accountable leader can guide their team across the bridge by providing clear, direct, and purposeful leadership. So number two is focused on operating in the gray. The second way to become a purposeful accountable leader is to learn to operate in the gray. Transitional leaders follow the book and they never deviate from that path. However, again, life is not a textbook with perfect scenarios. Life requires adaptive, problem-solving abilities and adaptive leaders, leaders who can quickly absorb information, understand the tools at their disposal, and make decisive choices when it matters. To operate in the gray, a leader must do two things. Number one, you have to have a feedback loop. A universal truth about leadership is that as your influence increases, you will spend less time with

Operate In The Gray

SPEAKER_00 7:53

your team. A side effect is that candid feedback often becomes scarce when it's needed the most. Once you achieve a higher position, those around you may start telling you what you want to hear. If you wish to operate in the gray, find ways to get constructive, candid feedback from your team. Number two is resilience. Building resilience within your organization is critical. When everyone is a problem solver, challenges become much easier to overcome because you have that shared momentum. A side effect of resilience teams is innovation and collaboration. Leaders who operate in the gray create resilient teams that chase hard things and communicate openly when something is wrong. Number three is having perspective. Leadership is a thankless job. When things go wrong, and they will, the leader is the one that should take responsibility. Again, I when I was a leader in the military, and I still am, right? Um, I am there to take credit for everything my team does and fails to do. And I'll never forget that as a learning point as a lieutenant. I had a lieutenant colonel keep his name out. Uh my platoon did some things they they should have should not have done. They got in trouble. And he told me, hey Josh, like you're a leader in and out of uniform, and you're also a leader of your team, um, regardless if you're there or not. So you take responsibility of everything that they do. So to gain perspective, mentally separate yourself from the

Perspective And Taking Responsibility

SPEAKER_00 9:30

daily grind. And this is what I mean by having perspective. Operate with an aerial view of your organization. When leaders do this, they understand that their position is bigger than themselves. Leaders can come and go, and you will, trust me, every year I move into a new position. But the office and the title that you hold will endure. When you recognize this, you realize that people are your most critical assets and they should be where you spend most of your time. Organizations succeed not because of one person, but because of the people actually doing the work. Always remember if you win and your team loses, you only win once. But if your team wins the right way, momentum builds and your ability to keep winning exponentially increases. Here's a great quote to kind of summarize having perspective. See the whole battlefield before moving a single piece. All right. So the next one, and I used this before, so you probably heard it before, is hugs. The fourth way to become a purposeful accountable leader is hugs. And I know what you're thinking, and no, I do not literally mean go and hug your people uh or the individuals on your team. Hugs is an acronym that I've created that starts with humility. And the first step to learn humility, but the ironic lesson is that humility is usually only taught in life's teachable moments. What does that mean? Some of the worst memories that I have, uh not necessarily the best, is when I learn humility. I learn through losing. I am willing to bet you have a few of those memories to reflect on. Let's start there. Let

HUGS: Humility Empathy Gratitude Service

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those moments humble you and then continue to move on. Number two is to learn the practice of understanding. In this example, understanding is the same as empathy. When leaders quiet their egos and listen, it allows information to absorb. That's when you can connect authentically with individuals on your team, and eventually life will get a vote, right? And your team will need some grace. And what I want to make sure it's abundantly clear there empathy and sympathy. There's a clear difference. Sympathy is rescuing your team and feeling sorry for them. Empathy is understanding where they're coming from, but still holding them accountable. There's a clear line there. We have too many sympathetic leaders today that is not willing to hold people accountable. You are a purposeful, accountable leader. You will hold your team to a standard. You will do it with grace. And sometimes everyone needs a coach in their corner to have that level of understanding. But at the end of the day, you will hold your team accountable. Number three, a purposeful, accountable leader must be grateful. It's easy to be grateful when you're winning, but no wisdom can be found there. Transformational leaders learn to find gratitude in life's worst memories, kind of what I've talked about before with humility. Every morning I say to myself, every day is a gift. I will not waste mine. When you lose, learn from it and become better. And I got that quote when I was a lieutenant, kind of growing up through the ranks of the military. And that's really where it started to resonate with me. Going through ranger school and sleeping in the swamp and getting rained on and going to Afghanistan and taking over a platoon that had a lot of casualties and just having that emotional burden to take on as a young leader and continuing my journey, I realized that, hey, every day is not guaranteed. I know that's probably something out there that you've heard very similar to mine, but that's exactly what it means. Live every day with purpose because tomorrow is not guaranteed. And if you were to die today, uh, did you give it your all? And that's what leadership's about, right? Like we talked about that before. That title and rank won't last forever with you in it. The position will, uh, but eventually you'll move on. So that's what I mean. Every day is a gift. Don't squander the opportunities that is given to you. And finally, have a servant heart. Having a servant heart comes down to serving others because you want to, not to suit an agenda. And here's a good quote to kind of wrap it up: uh purposeful, accountable leader embraces humility, understanding, gratitude, and has a servant heart. The next one is mission command. And this is something that is used in the military very, very much, very heavily. And really, what it does is it delegates power down to the lowest levels so you can achieve more. You can make more tactical decisions. And the fifth way to become a purposeful accountable leader is practicing mission command. Mission command is heavily used in my leadership content, but let's quickly define it because you may not be familiar with it. Mission command is the army's approach to delegating authority to the lowest levels of junior leadership. When this happens, commanders give away control and power, but it allows them to lead much larger formations and effectively while empowering subordinate

Mission Command And Smart Delegation

SPEAKER_00 15:13

leaders to make decisive decisions in a decentralized manner. It's hard to give up control because, in a way, you're letting go of your ego. As our responsibilities increase, trust me, success depends on your ability to delegate effectively. However, be careful with delegating. If you're delegating without providing the necessary tools, your team will fail. When that happens, it will be on you. Remember OCT. Observe, coach, and train. And be careful too with delegating. And what I mean by delegating is that you have a job and a description, and a portion of that could be delegated, but should it be delegated? What tasks should you actively be doing? And what tasks are you doing that should be delegated? Your job is not to literally have nothing to do, your job is to focus on the higher level tasks, operational or strategic level tasks, and delegating the tactical ones down. A leader's goal is not to oversaturate their team with tasks. Your job is to stretch your team while freeing up your time to focus on those strategic level decisions, like I just said. Remember, if you delegate to the point of being physically uncomfortable, you're doing a great job. Today's show sponsor comes from 10th Mountain Whiskey and Spirit Company. They are a philanthropic award-winning craft distillery located in the heart of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. For being a listener of Tales of Leadership, you'll get 10% off on any order using the promo code PandoCommando when you place an order at 10thwiske.com. Both of those are in the show notes, so you'll be able to find them. 10th Mountain Whiskeys and Spirit Company honors heroes and they craft a legacy. I've commanded two organizations in the 10th Mountain, and both of which are very deeply impactful to me. This is a company that I stand behind. And if you're looking for a great bottle of bourbon, look no further at 10th Mountain Whiskey and Spirit Company. Back to the show.

Sponsor Message And Back To Work

SPEAKER_00 17:26

The next is my favorite, and it's to be a sledgehammer. Uh, I jumped on the trend. You've probably seen it if you follow me on LinkedIn or social media. I created an action figure of myself. And it's funny enough that uh Chat GPT thinks that by day I am Josh McMillian and at night I am the sledgehammer. Uh so it's pretty hilarious. But this mindset has been something that's been ingrained in me ever since I've joined the military. And I really didn't define it before that, but I've always had that nose to the grindstone type of personality. But the sixth way to become a purposeful accountable leader is adapting a sledgehammer mindset. What is the purpose of a sledgehammer?

The Sledgehammer Mindset For Obstacles

SPEAKER_00 18:14

The purpose of a sledgehammer is to break down barriers and destroy obstacles in its path. A sledgehammer may rust, it can chip, but it still serves its fundamental purpose, removing obstacles. This is precisely the tool transformational leaders wield. A leader's first job is to prevent obstacles from forming through effective processes and systems. But when a barrier arises, the leader must first allow their team to opportunity to solve it. Only when it's necessary should a leader step in and then destroy that obstacle with that sledgehammer mindset. Once removed, the leader's job is to hold their team accountable and ask a couple questions, right? What did we learn in this process? What systems can we develop to prevent those obstacles from forming again? A sledgehammer mindset goes beyond removing obstacles that only a leader can solve. It's about building momentum and creating a culture that chases hard things because the team is behind you. Everyone on your team is a sledgehammer. Everyone removes obstacles based on their level of influence and authority within the organization, right? Like you should be focused on knocking down those strategic level 300-meter targets. So when it is that 50-meter target that your team is going to be focused on, you've already reduced it to where they have now overmatch, right? A combat overmatch basically means an unfair fight. When everyone works together, momentum builds, creating a wave that extinguishes any fire and overcomes any obstacle. The seventh way to become a purposeful, accountable leader is to be decisive in your actions. Let's define decisive, because if you are in the military, you probably heard this all the time. First, there is a time and a place to act unilaterally, right? This happens when the operational environment demands it. However, those moments are far and few between. If you consistently take decisive action without input from others, eventually you will stop receiving valuable information. When this happens, it leads to transitional habits of control. The second way I define decisiveness starts with active listening. What are the inputs from your team? Remember, everyone on your team has

Decisive Action With Team Input

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a voice. Listen to them. Some of the best ideas that I've ever seen come from the most underestimated people on the team. Once you've gathered enough information to make an informed decision, do it. It's time to act. Be confident. Give the order. Most importantly, do not look back or second guess your decisions. Make it and move out. It's okay to pivot because again, we're not fighting the plan. We're only executing a plan. But nothing good comes from second guessing yourself because you're a pal, you're a purposeful, accountable leader. Remember what uh General Patton said, and this isn't an exact quote, but a good enough plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed in two weeks. A leader is decisive. Certain times in life, you have to be overly decisive. Like if I'm in a firefight, right, with my platoon or with a company uh or in the military, or I have a fear that my family's life in danger, I'm gonna act. All other times, I want to operate with a little bit of tactical patience. I'm gonna try to get the picture. I'm not gonna have a perfect plan. Once I'm confident enough, that 70% solution, that 80% solution, then I'm gonna go move out. And I'm never gonna second guess myself because I'm not fighting the plan. I'm fighting the environment. What you fail when you start fighting the plan and when you start second guessing yourself. The next one is discover who you are. And this is critical. Before starting the journey to become a transformational leader, take the time to discover who you are. And there's a lot of hard questions you have to ask here. To do this, let's really slow things down and let's think. So here's some questions that you should reflect on. And if you're listening to this podcast and you're kind of taking notes, uh two things. One, you can go to McMillian Leadership Coaching.com and you can find this. Uh, article that's already written with these questions, or two, just pause it and write them down. And I would love to hear too what your answers are. So, what is your strengths? What do you think your strengths are? Do others share that same opinion of you? And it's very good to have that checks and balances, right? What are your weaknesses? Would others on your team give those same answers? Those are great place to start

Discover Who You Are First

SPEAKER_00 24:09

with just those two simple questions. Once you identify your strengths and then your weaknesses, look holistically at your life. Remember, leadership is not just about work, it's about your family and it's about yourself. What areas are most important to you? And what actions are you taking to address them now? What do you think your leadership style is and why? What are your core values, the guiding principles and characteristics that help you make informed decisions? And what is your foundation built on as a leader, as a purposeful, accountable leader? Unless you can answer those questions, you are not ready to lead. To lead well, you must master yourself first. And then go back to the first phase of leadership where I did a deep dive on what I believe the six phases of leadership are. Part of leading yourself first is understanding who you are. So here's a question: Who are you? The next one is inside out thinking. Purposeful accountable leaders have one thing in common. They are growth-minded. When a leader is inside out driven, they focus on outcomes and results last. Instead, they are laser focused on the culture and systems that produce those results. Understand who you want to become and your future self is at the core of that growth mindset. So think of it as an onion, right? At the core of that, that's probably the most overused uh metaphor, but at the core of that is who do I want to become? The next layer to that is what are the processes, systems, behaviors, characteristics, principles uh that I need to have to become that person? And then what are my long-term goals? If you know who you want to be, you know the systems to get you

Inside Out Thinking And Culture

SPEAKER_00 26:07

there, then it requires action, you'll get those results. But if you focus on the results first, you're never going to achieve those results. So here's a couple questions you should focus on. How does your company make people feel? How do your team members feel each day when they come to work? What does your family think of you? Do you like the current version of yourself? Once identity is solidified, focus on the processes to achieve it. A mentor once told me, and I love this: get the little things right, and the big things will just naturally follow. It's like a Lego uh set or Lincoln logs, right? Do the foundation, everything else is much easier. The same is true with inside out thinking. I argue that the most important thing is culture and identity, understanding who you want to be and the culture within the organization. Why is that? Because culture takes the longest to achieve. It requires a leader who establishes routines and holds everyone accountable, including themselves, with discipline. Remember, rad, to grow from the inside out. If you focus on culture and create systems, results will just naturally happen. Stop focusing on them. Be an inside out thinker. Last, and probably one of the most important ones, especially as you continue to grow in your leadership journey, is to close the distance. Last but definitely not least. As a leader, you cannot lead with gaps in your formation. You need to move quickly to your people. When leaders choose to close the distance, they are building relationships. And relationships are the foundation that makes organizations unbreakable. Without solid relationships, organizations will crumble and they will not stand up to the test of time. Why? Because selfishness, because of ego, because of fear, because of jealousy will fill those gaps. When challenges arise, do people automatically think about how they can help themselves or how they can help their team?

Close The Distance And Build Trust

SPEAKER_00 28:20

You must move quickly towards your team and start building trust. You do this by one, clearly understanding who you are. We kind of talked about that before. And then number two, living your core values. Remember deeds, not words. You can say all the right things. People will eventually see through the BS. Your actions have to align with your words. Once trust is earned, the organization shifts from an individual mindset of me, me, me, me to a team mindset, a team of teams. And that was my motto when I was an HHC company commander, a team of teams. Because if we are doing what we need to do, the teams below us is doing what they need to do, and the team above us is getting the resources needed. And we're all working in a greater cog, a system of systems, right? Selfishness is no longer the norm. Instead, people actively help each other and seek ways to add value to the team. Purposeful accountable leaders create time to be with their team. And trust me, it's not easy, especially as you continue to grow influence, rank, and title, all of those things. The one thing that you never get more of is time. And naturally, people are the ones who share that with you, that burden. And as a result, they can lose trust. But purposeful accountable leaders create that time, and as a result, they gain trust. So here is my after action review final thoughts on transformational leadership. Every leader has a choice. Will you choose your needs before your team and be a transitional leader that leads into toxic leadership? Or will you actively add value, put people before numbers, and lead the whole person? Becoming a transformational leader starts with quiet reflection. One of the most powerful practices that I've adopted is journaling. Capturing your thoughts is like unlocking the doors to who you are. Leading yourself and others becomes significantly easier once you discover who's behind the door. The very word transformation means to go beyond your current self. It takes time, but the rewards, when unlocked, will be unimaginable. Purposeful

Final Reflections On Transformation

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accountable leaders do not focus on success, they focus on significance. Use these 10 ways that I've just provided with you to be a transformational leader. We all have greatness inside of us, but it's up to us to forge those abilities and become the leader that this world needs. And here are three questions that I want you to spend some time reflecting on. Are you guiding your team towards long-term success or focused on short-term wins? And why? What values define you as a leader and are you living them daily? And last one, where in your leadership are you creating distance and how can you close that gap today? All right, team, do me a favor. I always ask this, but I sincerely mean it. Uh, if you find any value in this content in this episode, uh make sure that you like, share, and subscribe this podcast wherever you're listening. Leave a review, send me feedback. I love hearing feedback. You can do that through Tells the Leadership through Buzzsprout, or you can go to McMillian Leadership Coaching.com and you can leave comments on the uh podcast episodes there uh or any of the articles are right, or you can hit me up on social media. And oh, by the way, why aren't you following me on social media? You can find me at tells of leadership. I'm joking, but please uh follow me on uh LinkedIn, uh Instagram, and then YouTube. And you can find me at tellsleadership.com. And if you want to support the show, you can by simply going to tells of leadership.buzzsprout.com and visiting that site there. And if you own a company and you're looking

Listener Actions And Where To Connect

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to sponsor a podcast show that aligns with your core values, I'm always looking for a sponsor that aligns with my core values. And I'd love to have that discussion. As always, team, I am your host, Josh McMillian, saying every day is a gift. Don't waste yours. I'll see you next time.